To not do 'Elf on the shelf'

[Alottodoaboutssomething]

I understand it as a magical annoying elf turning up 1st December, to watch your children, and report their behaviour back to the North Pole. However, it back fires when it is the "naughty" elf who infact is the one who needs watching. This is demonstrated by his antics each night (set up by the lucky parent who has to think of various mischievous predicaments for 24 days)! Please correct me if I am wrong on this.

I promise I am not a grinch! We do crafts, baking, advent calendars, small Christmas box with night before Christmas book, Santa key, leaving mince pie, carrot on Christmas eve etc in the lead up. I just find the elf idea creepy, especially the whole watching/monitoring idea. Surely it could lead to a "mummy is this you doing this?" and create further risk of them questioning Santa as well. I don't know if this has happened to anybody!

Dc1 has asked about his elf, and I don't want to do it, and feel mean, because the other kids get it visiting them. I don't want a festive squatter in my home!

Please don't take on the peer pressure on your son's behalf. This is exactly why this sort of shit is so toxic. Women feeling they HAVE to take on more work. Just tell him different families have different things going on at Christmas and this is not one your family does.

You overlooked the new, 24 seat dining table and the new sofa we’re all apparently supposed to buy from SCS to accommodate those unexpected guests.
Unexpected guests at Christmas? We wouldn’t answer the door 😁

I know! It's ridiculous
As regards to Boo boxes they are Halloween related tat for your kids and apparently your BFF's to open and discard 5 minutes after. I know this because my 8 year old told me and he's never wrong😩😁

This is exactly what my kids were always told. It explains stuff like this and also why some children may not celebrate chrsitmas due to religion or why one kid might get a huge pile of presents and another only something small.

We have a small Christmas soft toy. I get it out the night before Dec 1st and put it on a shelf somewhere. Child spots it, is pleased, goes about her day. Every night (if I remember) I pick the toy up, walk to another room and put it on a shelf or something in there. Child always happy to find it the next day but find it quite funny if toy hasn't moved at all! Toy is put away when child goes to bed on Christmas Eve.

I was not going to start the elf madness. I knew I didn't have the inclination to think up new scenarios each night and anyway, I don't believe in naughty elves. Santa's elves are kind and helpful! Why would they come to your house and cut holes in your pyjamas and decorate your Christmas tree with your pants?!

I am glad that we have something though as my daughter's two best friends talk about their elves so she can at least say we have a little toy that visits us and moves around at night!

I completely agree, I hate the elf, I hate thinking of ideas and having to clear up any mess the "elf" makes.
I resisted until my eldest was about 7 and started asking why she didn't have an elf in her house when all her friends did, argh! Then the mum guilt kicked in and I got one.

My youngest is 9 now so I reckon this is my last year of having to do it. Thank god.
(I suggested she asked Santa not to send the elf this year....but no luck)

I think you can probably suck it up for a few years if the DC really want an elf.

My youngest is 11 now and we have never had an elf thank fuck. Ds asked a couple of times why we didn’t when his friends did. I told him we just never got one..his answer to that was but you just buy them in Easons!
I mean..what is the point in that? Each to their own though.

We have two very small wooden and felt elves, They move around the room but don't do anything crazy. They come on the 1st and leave when the stockings come on the 25th. That has been enough .... I still get into bed and realise I have not moved them.

I'm also not going to use peer pressure not to do it , as a WOMAN whatever that has to do with it, I know I dont HAVE to do it 😂I'm just going to do something I know my son will enjoy.

Also wont be doing the whole 24days OP, maybe a week or 10 days max.

Hey? How many men do you think are posting on pistonheads or Reddit every day asking for elf inspiration?

Oh god. This is horrible 🤢 why would the kids thinking a plastic elf has shitted all over the toilet seat be in any way magical?! It makes me all the more glad I don’t commit to this shite

Hurrah!

Mine are much older now but I never did the Elf when they were small. Firstly I hate the elf‘s face. Secondly I couldn’t be arsed. Thirdly I know I would never have fallen for it as a kid (I was a cynical bitch, my mum says she doesn’t think I ever really believed in Santa) so projected that onto my own kids

Each to their own and lots of people enjoy it

"Boo boxes" (I just Googled them)?!

It's like a lot of parents are just desperate to chuck money away and make work for themselves. When I say "parents" - it's invariably mums picking up these daft ideas and running with them.

If you've got lots of time and cash to spare and like doing these things - crack on. But seriously - if not, just take control and have the courage to say "NO".

Er, you said it wasn't really your thing and you were only doing it because of your son's peers. You are absolutely taking on peer pressure on his behalf.
I can bet your son's father isn't going to be the one thinking up stupid scenarios for a doll. It is always a woman, always.

We’ve managed to get away with not doing elf on the shelf so far, but dd has just started school & I imagine she will ask about it if her friends are talking excitedly about a cheeky elf each day!

The thing is, we get behind most festivals/events in our house, Halloween, Easter & bonfire night. Christmas is a big affair and we go full hog on decorations…but I’ve never been sold on the elf thing, he looks creepy too….I just know I’m going to end up doing it at some point though😂

And then I said I'm also not going to use peer pressure not to do it like your trying to do, bring societal views into it to make me feel guilty for doing it or feel that I'm less of a woman who can stand up for myself. When really I'm allowed to change my mind on something that I know will bring my son a little bit of joy.
I also knew that you would reply with, I bet your partner wont do it and it will be you. I can guarantee it will be him doing the chore of it most nights because he is a lot more creative with stuff like this and is probably more excited than I am. My partner also does the cooking every night much to your surprise of that little misogynistic box you have put him in 😉

"Cynical bitch", 😂 that's hilarious. I think you were just smart, and cottoned on! Dc1 I feel will be this way, he is 7, and only just believing in Santa as it is, if I introduce this little elf, I think it'll just encourage too many questions, and it won't be "realistic" enough! Think I'll just say Santa must not think we need one to watch us.

My house is enough of a shithole that I can't keep on top of, without deliberately creating mess and havoc each night. What is the point? It's a massive PITA.

That's just vile!

I only did elf on the shelf once when it first became a thing, when My eldest was young. Thankfully we emigrated so ds2 and ds3 have no idea about it so we don't bother now. I do however get lego advent calendars! But no Xmas eve boxes either.

I hate the little fucker! I did it for 2 years and last year he didn't come back as i'd put him in the bin the year before. Quite openly put him in the bin and he wasn't magical enough to come back. Oops. Not sorry.

Christmas can be magical without all this nonsense.

Also, i'm in a bad mood today 😂

Thanks for the ideas! My DD is only a baby but I'm a single parent too, so looking to make her Christmas' special in the future.

Why? Seriously, why the fuck would anybody voluntarily do this shit literally to their house???

We don't do any form of Christmas box, bedding or pjs. I did introduce the elf when my dd was 2 (I have never regretted that decision so much in my life 🤣) and she's now 11 but still expecting the elf to turn up each year despite (presumably?!?) knowing it's all make believe. Our elf isn't naughty and doesn't report back to Father Christmas- it just does fun stuff like bringing their advent calendar and stocking, hiding xmas treats around the house to find, playing hide and seek, playing with ds's toys etc. I used to be more elaborate in what they did but these days I usually remember as I'm getting into bed so I'll quickly come up with something low key that takes no more than 5 mins to sort out. I can't wait until the kids announce that know it's make believe so we can permanently pack the elf away but I've got a feeling they're going to keep up the pretence and I'll still be doing it in 20 years time when they come to visit for xmas 🤓