Age 56. Can't be arsed at work anymore.

[Whosaidthattt]

I'm a tired 56 year old. All these 'initiatives' and 'CPD'- I just can't be bothered anymore. Been there, did that 20 years ago. I have NO INTEREST in pretending to be excited/motivated by these 30 year olds and their enthusiasm! I get that they are young and excited about how they can change things but I just can't be arsed. Hoping to retire at 60 but that means another 4 years of excited puppies bounding about with their ideas. I'm not sure I can take it (or even care). How can I get through this final part of working life?? Help!!!

I don't think this is a negative or depressing thread. I don't see anything wrong with a woman saying she's had enough. I don't think there's anything wrong with anyone at any age saying that they've had enough....but to this poster in particular, I totally get it. What's wrong with getting to an age and wanting to slow down/do something different/not being gaslighted into feel joy and motivation and enthusiasm every day....particulaly by mostly younger colleagues who just "live for it". To me it's a real account of how some parts of society feel.

I know myself that I was training in my 20s with babies and small children, my 30s saw me taking every career step/promotion/rung/opportunity to better myself and my family.....with school age children and a husband whilst supportive, worked away....my 40s saw me juggling it all... teenagers,young adults, my own health, aging parents, caring for grandparents....my 50s saw me "having enough". My husband is brilliant, the most supportive, resourceful man, but there's no doubt that due to his own work responsibilities (who in the main,paid our bills), the nurturing of children, parents and grandparents were mostly... not solely.... but mostly left to me. And whilst working full time.

I've always wanted to believe that women can have it all. I've told every child, male or female that came through my classroom door that they can do anything that they set their mind to. The reality I have found is very different. I've worked in independent schools where I've truly seen children that will go on to be prime ministers and the such like. I've also met children in inner London state schools that could go on to be prime minister but they're living on the poverty line and have no hope of doing such greatness, sadly. We all want to live in a world where everything is accessible and everyone can be who they want to be and everything is "disney wonderful" ...but life doesn't work out like that.

And back to women having it all, it isn't depressing... some women don't want it all. Some women want portions of it, some women want a balance of it, some women want it all, some women don't want any if it. It doesn't make it depressing or negative, we all feel things differently. I've loved bringing up my children, I've loved working and making a difference to children (where possible) but that doesn't take away the memories of random Friday nights in my 40s, where I'd had a really hard week at work, my first teenager was being bullied at a high school that wasn't interested in him, a younger teenager who needed to go to swimming that night, football the next day, a house that needed cleaning, an overflowing washing and ironing basket, a grandmother in her 90s who needed dinner and a bath and my MIL having cancer treatment....all with my husband being offshore. It's not sympathy I needed, it was life and no I didn't want it all!! I don't think there's anything wrong with a poster who has "had enough", she's entitled to feel it.

Yea but the point is that the government keep pushing retirement age up and up.

Why keep changing it

I haven't commented about anyone's age in a derogatory manner - well, bar the youthful recruiter who treated me like his aged maiden aunt and made me feel redundant as a human at 42.

I've some experience in the life department that has left me very jaded and cynical in the life in general department and less than hopeful I can jolly myself into a new career at my age having lost my business a year ago.

I'm genuinely happy for those able to advance at any age. I'm realistically not among that number. And while my marital status or lack of it may be irrelevant in the workplace, it is part and parcel of my situation.

If my dark humour is distasteful to you, I'm sorry about that, but it's my coping mechanism.

Absolutely agree with you op. I love their enthusiasm and excitement I really do, but as for me… been there, done that, can’t be arsed!!!!!

There are a lot of organisations where older people are taking this attitude. Refusing to learn and change, blocking more effective people coming through and holding back the organisation.

There are lots where the older people have learnt and are despairing at the idiocy that people refuse to accept what has been learnt and repeat mistakes over and over and over again

Respect should go both ways and often it doesn't

Who really gives a fuck about KPI's!

Yes I agree, it can be that feeling that as an older person you can’t possibly have knowledge and experience ALREADY that could be valuable! Isn’t “ learning from experience” generally seen as a good business tool?

I think for a lot of woman as they get older in jobs they feel they have had enough of working hard for years. Then they don't want to hear about kpi or the latest bright idea from a manager with no life experience. I know several woman who have left jobs or changed jobs to make life better for them.

I have a friend who is working PT at the moment in company x outside the uk. My friend was asked by the boss could they do more hours a few months ago. My friend decided not to do this for a number of reasons. Her boss is doing less work and is passing more of the work load on to their staff. The boss has also had a lot of time off due to sickness and health issues.

Meanwhile some other people have had to do more hours and cover the bosses work load as well as their own when the boss is gone. My friend and another co worker have seen all this happen. My friend is looking into changing jobs in the next 12 months but has some issues to deal with before doing this.

I think that sometimes you have to decide to do what's best for you and not a company or job. If you in a job that you don't like see how you can get out of it be it further training ect.
See if you can access a pension early or see will they let you go PT if you can afford this financially. Stay in a job to build up savings or get debit paid off before looking for another job. Don't leave a job until you have another job to go to.

I think for a lot of woman as they get older in jobs they feel they have had enough of working hard for years. Then they don't want to hear about kpi or the latest bright idea from a manager with no life experience. I know several woman who have left jobs or changed jobs to make life better for them.

I have a friend who is working PT at the moment in company x outside the uk. My friend was asked by the boss could they do more hours a few months ago. My friend decided not to do this for a number of reasons. Her boss is doing less work and is passing more of the work load on to their staff. The boss has also had a lot of time off due to sickness and health issues.

Meanwhile some other people have had to do more hours and cover the bosses work load as well as their own when the boss is gone. My friend and another co worker have seen all this happen. My friend is looking into changing jobs in the next 12 months but has some issues to deal with before doing this.

I think that sometimes you have to decide to do what's best for you and not a company or job. If you in a job that you don't like see how you can get out of it be it further training ect.
See if you can access a pension early or see will they let you go PT if you can afford this financially. Stay in a job to build up savings or get debit paid off before looking for another job. Don't leave a job until you have another job to go to.

The reason our retirement age was hiked is because we are living too long.

I wonder if this scenario resonates with anyone:

Involved in the relatively successful implementation of new IT system. 5 years later, no longer supported by the vendor, need a new IT system. First meeting:
Me: Here's the documentation and learnings of "what worked/what didn't work" from the roll out of the current system
Big Boss: Oh we don't need that, we're using Software X, it's the new industry standard
Me: OK, but here's some issues around Software X we'll need to resolve to ensure functionality remains the same as current system
BB: Stop being negative!
<roll out of Software X, users all complain about it taking longer, more complex, bugs etc and eventually impacts on business deliverables>
18 months later...
New Big Boss: Ok, Software X is a total disaster, we need a new system
Me: Here's the doc..
NBB: We don't need that crap. We'll use Software Y, it's the new industry standard
Me: Ok, but how are we going to resolve how Software Y handles...
NBB: Stop being so negative!
Me: OK, I'm out I think another member of the team needs this opportunity

Theyll work us till we can work no more!

I feel like this at 59, the last intake of recruits at my job are my DC’s age and there are few colleagues older than 40. For those previous posters who mentioned being at a workplace with many contemporaries, I would be interested in knowing what you do? I have a decent private pension due at 65 and could afford to take it earlier (maybe not quite yet) but I would actually like to continue working part time.

My current job is STEM-related and I doubt I’ll find anything at a similar level again but I am experiencing menopausal brain fog and quite fancy working in a minimum wage job that isn’t too mentally draining. Not sure what that might be though because I haven’t worked in that sort of area (hospitality, retail etc) since I was a student. Does anyone know what sort of places might be wanting to recruit older employees with a lot of life experience but no relevant recent experience?

Yes I agree, it can be that feeling that as an older person you can’t possibly have knowledge and experience ALREADY that could be valuable! Isn’t “ learning from experience” generally seen as a good business tool?

Absolutely. In my field it often goes like:

Client: Hey here's a great new project for you blah blah
Me: Fab but IME elements ABC could cause problems because blah blah. I suggest maybe modifying it along the lines of XYZ.
Client: Nah, it's staying as it is.
Me: OK but be aware ABC could cause problems but I'll do my best.
Client: OK boomer <totally ignores me>

A few months later:
Client: It seems elements ABC are causing a shitshow! Whodathunk!? Whattery can you fix it?
Me: Yes I suggest XYZ AS I SAID TO START WITH
Client: OK please do that! ASAP!
Me: OK but I need paying for the extra work undoing ABC and implementing XYZ
Client: OK whatever

A few months later:
Rinse and repeat

I retired two years ago at 63. I’d always interested to stick it out to 67 as I enjoyed my job but found I just couldn’t be arsed to sort out other people’s mistakes yet again. That’s not as arrogant as it sounds as most of the improvements to systems had already previously been tried and rejected.

A major factor was a new young senior manager who would fanfare some major cost saving in conjunction with a supplier, instruct me to implement it only for me to realise it was only for a particular contract we hadn’t yet been awarded or similar.

When I started work it was expected you would work hard but not that your job should be your passion.

Do you think there should be some jobs where people are roughly grouped by age. I'm sure some people would apply for them

I'm 40 . I hate having twenty something year old managers shout at my team about KPI's.

Similarly some young people don't like working with us either.

A 22 year old man works in our organisation. He's on a different team to me. He told me that he doesn't like working with the 40- 50 year olds on his team bevause they're the same age as his mum, and he has nothing in common with them

Living ‘too’ long due to poor financial management by the government and let’s be frank - some people who don’t save for retirement.

Theres no such thing as living ‘too long’ and I hate the term as it’s pretty much like saying you should just go die now you’re not economically viable.

A record number of young people aren’t bothering to work, but let’s blame the pensioners 🙄

How do you find one that isn’t trying to sell you a load of stuff you don’t want?

The charity sector are struggling to recruit people. You would have to demonstrate transferable skills. Charity job website will direct you as to how best to do this.

I’ve had young women I work with complain they don’t want to work with old people (over 40),

She’s a lazy, entitled, work shy, useless lass. I don’t want to work with, or more correctly do her work on top of mine, her either.

Two of the best people I ever recruited were both men in the late 50’s who’d been made redundant from more senior roles and wanted something less stressful to tide them over for the last few years as neither ready to switch off yet.

Ok they were not as technically savvy as the younger ones but they were reliable, didn’t need too much training, both stepped up to help out above their pay grade when the younger ones said ‘but that’s not my job’. If I was away from my desk, they’d take calls and help the person on the end rather than take a message and the apprentices loved their wisdom and maturity. One especially really enjoyed being an informal mentor to them.

Yet both had struggled to find work after being written off as too old.

I’m in my sixties myself. The system was set up when people didn’t live so long. It was designed for 10 - 15 years of retirement pension.

In order to pay out for the same period now, that age where the payments start obviously has to rise.

It really is shit, and I am prepared with an exit strategy when my enjoyment of life ceases before my body entirely packs up. When I started working I expected to draw my state pension at 60. I totally understand why this isn’t possible now. It would put a burden on younger taxpayers that they really couldn’t shoulder.

The system was set up when people didn’t live so long.
Yes, and most started work sooner.
DFIL started full-time work at 14, DH at 18 and DS not until 23, so that must make a difference as well.

I think this is a very skewed perspective. Organisations benefit from having a mix of people, including in terms of age and experience.

So yes, a firm that only employed cynical slightly jaded fifty year olds would likely be a disaster. But a firm that only employed ‘passionate’ twenty-five year olds who over enthusiastically implement every new idea at breakneck pace would also be a disaster.

Having a mix of ages, in theory anyway, allows a firm to benefit from what people of all ages can offer.