So difficult being a nurse

[Whatthefuck3456]

I graduated as a RMN last year, I love my job yet loathe the hours. No matter what I do there is a barrier with childcare.

it is impossible to be a nurse and have a great work life balance with your family. Sometimes I wish I chose a different career. Or become a nurse before I had children to then have more flexibility and experience in lue. Any words of wisdom please

Hiya, I'm a doctor so see exactly what nurses have to put up with in terms of shift patterns etc. It really looks exhausting and the long days are a killer.
I guess my only advice would be to try and stick with it as there are so many opportunities to progress/ move to community etc. when you have a little more experience.
One of my friends recently moved from being an ITU nurse to being an ANP and her working day is so much better. She's also super specialist now and very highly regarded. I have other friends that moved into practice nursing or into management.
You're finding it hard because it really is super hard. But I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job and making a massive difference.

My advice is to remember that just because you've qualified, doesn't mean you have to stick with it.

If you find it's too tough while your kids are young, maybe look at doing something else until they're older.

MN is full of threads from people having been unhappy in their jobs for years, saying they're burnt out etc but nothing ever changes.

I'm not saying finding something else will be easy, just that you should remember it's an option at least for now.

Thank you both so much for your comments, I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Appreciate your replies thank you.

I'm a nurse, I work 4 days doing 30 hours
No shifts, no weekends, no Xmas

It can be done

I still hate nursing though, mostly because of the toxic management

Is it possible to do a MH job with regular hours?

I work on in an infusion clinic and it is 8 - 4 M - F

Maybe there are clinics looking for nurses?

Tried travel health ? Nice job. Good hours. Superdrug and MASTA looking for nurses

Why don’t you look at community rather than hospital work if it bothers you?

Although to be fair DH is an RMN and much prefers shifts because of the flexibility it gives him. It meant that with him as a nurse and me doing 9-5 we never had to use childcare when the kids were younger. Now if he works his shifts right he has long weekends off without having to use annual leave, he gets time to himself while everyone else is out and gets to have lie ins.

There are jobs out there which are less antisocial with the hours if you are open to trying different areas.

I'm a nurse. I love the area I work in but it includes all the antisocial shifts. Working it around childcare is a bloody nightmare and I'm lucky in the sense we self roster to a certain degree.

If you can do it I would recommend part time and bank shifts in-between as needed.

Have you considered community jobs? ATS or older adults community teams are typically 9-5 Monday to Friday. Crisis teams tend to work extended hours but not quite to Ward level.

Not without stress but inpatient work is also stressful.

I actually don’t like 9-5 and have just left for a position which involves shift work I don’t have young children so it’s easier.

Community nursing is the bomb dot com!
Much better than wards etc. Imo
See lots of nurses doing botox now instead!

Aside from my first job after qualifying as an RGN I did mainly nights , it fitted in well with my family although I did get more and more part time which also helped.

I prefer shifts as well. Although the work was harder I had a better work life balance.

Will hopefully go back to that in the future.

Im an RMN and when my kids were babies up until my youngest being in year 5 at primary school, I worked permanent nights 3 nights a week. This fitted round my husband's shifts and we didnt need childcare.

Then I did a few years of 12 hour day shifts, again 3 times a week.

Now I work Monday to Friday 9-5 still in a clinical role but not shift work. I love having evenings and every weekend off (normally soent ferrying the kids about now they are older!) but I do miss my days off in the week.

I considered doing my nursing degree but I have been pondering this decision the last week or two because of the long hours, the stress, the pay scale and the nhs just being how it is, it's crazy what is expected of you as a qualified nurse and it's really not something I feel I want to do now, I am also a single mum of 4 children and I don't see the hours suiting my family life. I am 33 and have wanted to be a nurse since I was 25 I had started getting the math and English to get into university etc but I just don't want that anymore. I shall be having a long think of what I want to do now and what I can do while I am a mum of 4 children under 14

Unless you have a good support system it is pretty hard to do. Your placement can be nights/early shifts, often 12 hours x 3 or 4 days per week.

What are your hours OP?
I work 30 hours and that works out as 2 13 hours one week and then 3 the next week.
I have friends with multiple shift patterns.

It can be done. I work in outpatients now after a start to my career in theatres and IcU. Specialist nurse role in a specialism I love. 4 set day In the week, office hours. No weekends, nights, no bank hols. It was a pay cut to get here though even though I went up a pay band due to loss of unsocial hours. Never looked back though

Agree entirely. My professional roles were greatly influenced by being a parent/childcare etc. Please don't give up. Are there any day centres/clinics that have vacancies? If you have a partner and their job supports childcare, would 3 x 12 hour shifts work? That might be a long shot but I know it works for some.
Congratulations on getting your degree!

4 days a week doing 6.30-3.30 - just in time to pick up the kids from school. DH takes them in the morning and works til later. No weekends, Christmas etc. there are jobs out there!

admittedly I am also really lucky that I fell into a job with a great manager. Wouldn’t change it for the world.

I know people that have much more regulated shift patterns in:
Outpatient Opthalmology
Emergency Gynae unit
Outpatient transplant clinic
Day Surgery
Ambulatory care unit
Diabetic Clinic

there are so many options and I think people see outpatients especially as quite boring, but it can be very interesting, highly skilled and rewarding. Highly recommend!

MrsChestnut
I did ophthalmology opd for a while , was one of my favourite jobs.

Try not to fall into the trap of having to nurse in a ward setting, unless it's really what you prefer doing. The great thing about nursing is that there are so many different roles you can do. Just look at trac jobs and look up roles on somewhere like Reed, as they sometimes have roles that you didn't know existed!

I left my role in A&E for a community based role. I miss working in the hospital caring for sick children, but the constant 12 hr shifts and switching between day/night was too much for me. I left before I started getting burnt out or resenting the job. It took some adjustment but I now work 9-5 weekdays in a safeguarding children role. I book a agency shift once every few months to keep me up to date with acute nursing (and catch up with old colleagues). I love it and my work life balance is much better.

There are definitely ways round it if you want to continue being a nurse.

Maybe first think what hours would suit.

Then look for jobs around that.

I work in the community , it’s Monday to Friday 9 to 5…..the trust supports flexi working…..there’s people working 8 to 4 …..or a 9 day fortnight…..or compressing full time into 4 days

What hours do you want to work? There are so many RMN jobs available, it's just a case of knowing what you want and getting your employer to flex.

Work hard eat, sleep, repeat. X next thirty years, the way we made work with little kids was working opposite shifts. But if your partner is not a nurse it can be much much harder. Thank you for your service so far and for what you will contribute in the future.