Sex webcam chat

[Littlehouseonthe]

I am unmarried living in my partner’s house and I am about to return to work after a year maternity leave. Separate finances and apart from pausing me paying him rent (which I had been doing before my maternity leave), I’ve had to pay my own way in the last year which has left me in £5k credit card debt.
We have been going through a difficult time and he has withdrawn emotionally and physically. I have today discovered that he has regularly been using web cam sex chat rooms. I never really minded him watching porn but this feels different. It feels like I’ve been cheated on this whole time. AIBU to consider leaving him given my terrible financial situation?

Yes this is definitely cheating and not the Same as porn at all.
Definitely leave OP. Asap.

Is he the father of your child?

That's horrible and I couldn't stay with a man who did that.

Your whole set up sounds really unhealthy. This should be your final straw.

yes

He sounds like scum.

If you live separately he will have to pay CM.

If he's the father of your child then you should be sharing some financial responsibility for his child at least. Sounds all a bit separate 🤔 he probably feels like a single bloke. Hence his behaviour. His money, his priorities.

He did/ does pay for our child, we just contribute equally, split food shopping etc
Me being on statutory maternity pay meant I simply didn’t have enough money to pay for my half so I ended up using my credit card

There's nothing good about this @Littlehouseonthe . You've posted before and mentioned relationship issues and his rudeness to you.

You've discovered he has been paying for sex. I am so sorry. The only AIBU about this is if you were to consider glossing or papering over it x

These cheating fucking men. Ugh!

Has anyone got any practical advice on renting a house/ any benefits. I’ve never had to do this

He's a dick. You absolutely should leave him, he is not going to miraculously change & become a decent person. I hope you do it.

Go to citizens advice. Do you have any family support?

No it’s just me

Have you got the financial capacity to rent privately?

Start working out what you might be entitled to by checking out Benefits calculators - GOV.UK and sites such as Tackling Financial Insecurity Together | Turn2us and https://www.lightningreach.org/

The complexities for you living in his house and paying rent - that feels like specialist advice needed depending on what was agreed at the time and how long you have been there.

Yep, get to citizens advice, I can’t stress that enough.

fucking he’ll imagine carrying his child and living with him yet you’ve had to pay your own way . He’s been quids in with you there

We had agreed that we would pause my rent payments whilst on maternity leave. At the time I thought it was fair because I thought we were both supporting each other

I cant believe you used your credit card for bills while on maternity. Unless he doesnt make enough himself.
Did you ever discuss this? Why didnt he support you while you were pregnant?

I have not spoken to him yet. I’ve only learnt about the sex can today. Do I tell him or wait. My head is spinning

I only paid my bills- not house bills whilst on maternity

I got I separate with him while
living on the same home you can still claim benefits from a separate room as long as your aren’t doing any relationship stuff even washing and cooking for him.

If you what to leave first claim universal credit and cma

There is an entitled too calculator .

I think you should leave you are not a team.

yes he had been very supportive and caring until we fell out about his parents’ interfering and things have changed

Can't get over you paying him rent!

Move out asap, he doesn’t respect you.

I totally agree that the sex webcam thing crosses a line. I wouldn’t be massively bothered about watching porn but the cam girls are a different thing altogether as to me that crossed the line to cheating.

Ducks in a row and leave OP.

Porn leads to this, so you should have a problem with it. It’s objectifying. It only leads one way.

Women who don’t care about porn are only asking for their weak men to move on to cam girls and tinder. Like a drug, you need more.

It doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t see why any woman would even want a man atp unless there is an understanding of both being disloyal, cause men certainly dgaf. Gisele Pelicot comes to mind.