Sex webcam chat

[Littlehouseonthe]

I am unmarried living in my partner’s house and I am about to return to work after a year maternity leave. Separate finances and apart from pausing me paying him rent (which I had been doing before my maternity leave), I’ve had to pay my own way in the last year which has left me in £5k credit card debt.
We have been going through a difficult time and he has withdrawn emotionally and physically. I have today discovered that he has regularly been using web cam sex chat rooms. I never really minded him watching porn but this feels different. It feels like I’ve been cheated on this whole time. AIBU to consider leaving him given my terrible financial situation?

how much has he spent and how did you find out?

I don’t know about payments. I checked his browsing history and different women’s webcams have been accessed on different dates

Chaturbate is the website. It’s not a pop up, I’ve checked

You have had a child with a man who you are not married to - whilst being aware that you are economically vulnerable. That was a stupid thing to do. However you won't be the first or the last .

Are you paying 'half the rent ' on a jointly rented house where you are on the tenancy ? Is he or you sole tenants - or are you paying him rent to live in his house ? Difficult to advise without this information.

It doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t see why any woman would even want a man atp unless there is an understanding of both being disloyal, cause men certainly dgaf. Gisele Pelicot comes to mind.

I lean towards this more and more. It was completely horrific what was done to Gisele Pelicot.

OP, speak to CA and get out. This is only what you know he's doing.

Is there a friend's you can stay temporarily? You could go down the council route though these days you have to be in the gutter or dying to get them to help. You can definitely claim benefits. UC can help with rent and childcare. Give them a call. Sooner you get the ball rolling the better. I have been in this situation but it was a while back, the council used to assist with going private rent by paying first month upfront but I still had to get a guarantor. Good luck OP. Anything is better than this shit 💐

I think that might constitute financial abuse. You both had a child so neither of you should be better or worse off because of it.

He owns the property and I was contributing towards bills/mortgage (prior to mat leave). I know I have no rights here just need to focus on moving forward and managing financially on my own. I return to work in a couple of weeks

You are a family .. these are joint bills, you should not be getting into debt due to Matt Leave - he should be paying more.

@Bangwam1 nails it. Nothing that objectifies, degrades or exploits women is acceptable.

You don't need to be cool about porn OP, or anything else.

This is your red flag moment to move on.

Tbh OP you knew he used porn so you knew he saw women as sex objects. I don't know why you are surprised he also gets his sexual gratification from Web cam women.
If this breaks your boundaries I agree with pp about going to stay with family or friends. And seek legal advice as to your position.

Just in case it makes a difference to you OP, lots of men use chaturbate as just another porn website. They don't pay for anything, they don't interact with the women on there.

They just watch it, like porn. Buts it's live instead. Some men prefer it because they think it's more ethical, as it's mostly individuals on there. Like only fans they think it means the women are doing it willingly. That's not necessarily true though, there's plenty of women on there being coerced to do so.

Really?
Do you think men who use porn actually care whether it's ethical or not? Do you think they care whether the women are doing it willingly?
I thought the point about why men like Only Fans and live webcam women was because they can pay the women to do the sex acts tailored to THEIR needs. They are paying to control what the woman is doing. They are paying to make it personal to them

Sex cams aside, you'd be better off on your own with child support.

The person you replied to is correct. Many people use them as another version of porn. Only a small minority pay or even have accounts on these sites.

That’s not to say it’s okay.

He is getting sexual gratification from another woman--the very definition of cheating. He let you use credit cards instead of covering the bills while you were pregnant with his child like any decent man would do.

He's a dick.

Well perhaps it is a version of porn.

My point was that I don't think men who use live cam women and Only Fans are bothered about ethics, which is what was being given as a reason for men using these sites.
Besides which women are just as likely to be being coerced and sexual exploitated on webcam sites and Onlyfans as in other forms of pornography .

OP you need to leave, and I suspect you know this already. This is awful for you.., I’m sorry 💐