Boyfriend isn’t that bothered about our anniversary?

[Monster1996x]

We have been together for 2 years next week. I’ve been really excited and I associate a lot of this time of year towards the time we were getting to know each other. I do get quite nostalgic and remember the autumn months as the time we fell in love etc. so I love anniversaries.

I asked bf what we are doing and he wants to prioritise buying things for our new house. Rather than spending money on anniversary. He said we can definitely spend the day together but it doesn’t need to be a huge celebration

Fair enough, but I asked him if he’s even bothered and he said around a 4 out of 10. I am like a 7 or 8. He said he doesn’t really think about anniversaries etc because he “isn’t very nostalgic” and “doesn’t live in the past, he only looks at the future”. It hurts because I have such high emotions and associations towards this date, but he hasn’t at all.

This has really upset me, am I being stupid?

I worry that he wouldn’t be that bothered about future wedding anniversaries and that upsets me, because he “doesn’t live in/think about the past” ???

Massively overreacting. You’re going to spoil if for yourself by it not. Ring good enough when he’s said it’s low key for your house.

I don’t even know the date I met my husband apart from it comes up on Facebook I was going to a pub where I then met him - haven’t ever celebrated it and even our wedding anniversary is usually low key. For us it’s the day to day that matters most

It’s not even about whether couples celebrate them or not - I just worry that “I just worry about the future not the past” sounds like just a lame excuse and that actually he’s just not that into me?

We've never bothered with them, but that's both of us feeling similarly that it's not a big deal.

I dont know anyone who puts this kind of emphasis on anniversaries.

I can't remember my wedding anniversary - I do know the year though but I don't buy us a card as that just seems weird....

This wouldn't worry me in the slightest.

I'd rather have someone prioritising the home you live in. But if you need something, you need it. If you need to mark the occasion, mark it. But don't expect another human to feel something just because you do.

Is he loving, kind, thoughtful, hard-working, hot, good?

Why would he be focused on the future if he's not that into you?

You are being unreasonable. He wants to docia on your new house. How much more commitment do you need him to show?

Kindly I don't really see a 2 year bf / gf anniversary as a big deal, it's not like it's a ten year wedding anniversary or something. Me and dh just do a small gift and card on each of our anniversaries 🤷🏻‍♀️

You sound like a walking red flag, OP.

Haven't a clue what date we met or had our first date and I forget our wedding anniversary with unfailing regularity every single year. DH usually sends me a cryptic Facebook message mid morning🤣

You’ve only been together two years. Sometimes it’s important to put things into perspective.

See I think differently. I've been with my husband 15 years, but I definitely remember being much more excited about anniversaries when we had been together the first 5 or so years. I don't think it's abnormal but you do sort of grown out of it a bit. I wouldn't worry too much OP, it doesn't mean your partner won't celebrate other life events.

What difference would it really make to anything if he was effusively enthusiastic about your anniversary OP? What is it you're looking for other than spending the day together that he's agreed to? The same with future wedding anniversaries, surely spending a nice day together is the priority over anything else? What more do you envisage?

IMO focusing on your future home is far more important than a 2 year anniversary of dating. That demonstrates his level of commitment, not making a big flashy show of a date.

Lots of people aren't bothered about anniversaries, it doesn't mean they aren't into the relationship.

I'm not bothered about them. I don't think I acknowledged them at all until I got married? DH and I just had our 10 year anniversary, so we used it as an excuse to splurge on a nice dinner.

I don't think it's an indication that he's not into you at all. But it could be an indication that you're not compatible.

Yes
(You asked)
He is NOT you,note that down,it's vital info. You've stated your case,he his. Have a lovely day together x

I asked bf what we are doing

With kindness, I think you are setting him up for failure and setting yourself up for disappointment here, why have you asked him what you are doing? I understand your nostalgic feeling and wanting to celebrate the time of year you fell in love, but why not just low key recreate some of the kind of dates you went on, or suggest some of the things/activities you did around the time you were falling in love, if he isn't on the same page with regards the importance of it (which is fine btw) then it will never live up to your expectations anyway, so try not to ruin it by putting too much emphasis on it, it doesn't mean he loves you any less.

I'm not a big fan of anniversaries other than to make time to do something together on that day or around that time. I've never celebrated an anniversary of meeting.

Aw I agree I would be a little bothered about his indifference. Surprised with these responses. The early days of a relationship are so magical and it's lovely to celebrate the milestones and reminisce etc. Being excited about being a couple is part of being, and feeling, connected. This occurs to me even more so now that I'm deep into a marriage with young kids and that connection is fading away as we're just so busy and overwhelmed. I loved when we celebrated 'us' more and really felt like a proper couple. Im so pleased we at least did all that the start. I think it's sad if he wants to brush past these things. I agree also that his reasoning did give me 'excuse' vibes but since you're buying a house together I think probably not. Just more who he is. Which does mean he's possibly just not on the same wavelength as you regarding sentiment and nostalgia though, which could be an issue long term

Every year on the anniversary of our civil partnership, a couple who are good friends (whom we didn't even know when we had the ceremony) send us a card. That's what reminds us it's our anniversary. We don't do anything special.

He’s maybe struggling to articulate why he doesn’t care about anniversaries. I’m not bothered but I can’t give a proper reason - it’s just not important to me. I don’t know when I met DH but it was early on in the academic year so maybe October. I just don’t know why that matters.

Yes, you're being stupid.

Why would you think that? Sounds like exactly the opposite to me.