A diagnosis one

[CarGoat]

Ok, I know diagnosis etc.. has been discussed to death on Mumsnet, but ...

Recently I have come to realise that in every single family I know (as in, families I'm friends with or know enough to have been to each others homes, kids have play dates etc...) there is a child with either an established diagnosis of ADHD or Autism, or there is a child undergoing assessment/on wait list for assessment.

The final realisation, (and I guess what prompted this thread) came when the mum of my child's best friend told me he has recently been diagnosed with autism. I have never seen any traits and had no idea. He's a lovely, well behaved kid, has loads of friends, interests, plays computer games with my DC, they hangout together, play games together, chat together,.do sport together. I understand there must be some difficulties his mum has observed which led to diagnosis etc.. it's just, he seems fine!

I then reflected on all DC's other mates and realised just how many either have a diagnosis of autism/ADHD or have siblings with this. My nephew is in the process of assessment for autism. My other nephew is also being considered for ADHD and has assessment coming up.

This is mad.

These children, while they may well meet criteria and I am not doubting that, they just don't seem much different to the average kid in terms of communication and behaviour etc... so all are relatively 'mild' in terms of presentation (i.e. autism is not of a level that's non verbal, the children have good peer relationships etc). I know people will tell me you don't thave levels like 'mild', but I'm not sure how else to explain it - just that the children all 'appear' perfectly fine. They just seem like normal, average, healthy children.

So ...

Is this just a quirk of where I live, in that in my village there just happen to be loads of children with ADHD and Autism, but this is not reflective of wider society?

Or

Is this reflective of wider society? Are the levels of diagnosis of these conditions now this prevalent?

And if the latter - shouldn't we make the criteria for diagnosis harder and just acknowledge that we are all a bit neurodiverse to some extent, and make adjustments to the schooling environment to account for that, rather than having to fund all these individual assessments and locate the problem in all these children?

I just think it's ridiculous to diagnose so so many children and if nearly every family has a family member with a diagnosis then surely the diagnoses are a bit redundant and meaningless?

(I know some people will not like this post, sorry. I am putting on my hard hat)

I was trying to be factual and highlight the points in your opening post that were questioning, but came across as goady.

You’re absolutely right.

I'm a teacher. I’ve taught quite a few children who really needed, and benefited from, 1:1 support because of their autism or ADHD diagnosis, but a lot more whose parents were desperate to get a label for them to "explain" why their lack of brilliant progress at school was all the school's fault. If they did OK academically and behaved well at school but were a nightmare at home, it was because they were "masking" and it was still the school's fault for not acknowledging their problems. (Nothing at all to do with parenting or expectations, oh no.)

What used to be just accepted as different personalities now have to have a diagnosis and a label. Everyone (or their parents) wants to be somehow special, needing special individual consideration.

I completely agree that schools should just vary their teaching styles as needed.

So a teacher, not a qualified medical professional able to diagnose a child then?!

Really interesting article, thanks.

The conclusion was interesting " “We are currently very focused on making a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ distinction in terms of diagnoses. But why not say, ‘Somebody has these traits. How might that be affecting their life and what we can do to help?’”

I forgot to say how I have realised how vanishingly rare it is for parents paying to have their child assessed privately by an autism/ADHD expert to be told that there is nothing wrong with the child. The same does not seem to be the case for those managing to see an NHS expert.

Are you implying that people are paying to get a diagnosis @Anonycat ? You do know they are paying for assessment not diagnosis don't you?

They will also usually be desperate and unable to wait multiple years to be seen by the NHS.

Yes, I do know that. I’m not implying any wrongdoing on the part of parents. I’m implying that private doctors are more likely to give a positive diagnosis than NHS ones, possibly because they are more likely (subconsciously or otherwise) to want to please their paying clients.

Masking St home is incredibly common.

My dd was assessed privately because services, any services at all, were not available on the NHS. Had we not had the means to access private care my dd would have remained on a downward spiral and would never have reaches her potential. . The impact on her self esteem and mental wellbeing would have been catastrophic. She would not now be teaching an academic subject at secondary school with an SEN specialism alonside it. I imagine she will move on to speecg therapy or OT helping the neuro-diverse community.

Do you really think it was our ideal to spend £8000 on care for her?

With respect you are talking utter boileaux.

My DD at (13) became convinced by tick tock that she had female ADHD. Listed all the symptoms, definitely had it.
Waited 1 year for expensive private diagnosis.

No ADHD.

No SEN at all … it happens.

I was a quiet straight A student. My levels of masking adhd have been off the scale my whole life. I used to come in from uni or work and just sleep. Now I know how to handle adhd my life is so different. As someone said on here previously, it’s really useful to know you are a zebra and not a wierd kind of horse 😂.

I understand people’s annoyance at the OP. I expect many have had to fight for support for their kids or selves. It’s an emotive area. However, I think objectively, querying the large increase in diagnoses is reasonable.

Questions about various aspects of ND are legitimately being considered by the scientific and academic community. This is important.

I don’t think OP was goading anyone.

Well it will get more common as there are identifiable gene mutations which can cause developmental issues, Autism ect
(Google CACNA gene mutation)

It is a dominant gene mutation that is becoming more prevalent in our gene pool. Given that it's 50% chance of passing it onto your child, it will become more common. That is one of the many causes slowly being identified as we understand more through research.

They are slowly understanding the causes so what currently seems baffling at the moment, won't be in the next decade.

Mutations in DNA aren't always in existence a century ago. I guess once we have identified them they can ascertain what has triggered it.

(This is my summary through reading the studies if you read them you will probably understand it better then me lol science isn't my forte)

I honestly think there is more ND people than there is NT people. It just so happens that everyone has been forced to behave and act a certain way for years and years, generation after generation

I think all this ND stuff seems like theres more of it now because theres just more understanding, knowledge and support. I honestly think NT people are the minority and always have been ,

My DD is in the final stages of an autism diagnosis. Up until a year ago I'd of argued till I was blue in the face that she wasnt autistic. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year and autism a few months ago

It is the children whose parents have diagnosed them that get my goat.
They have "special treatment" at school despite the diagnosis being their own.

On the face of it, my dd doesn't seem to have ASD to outsiders but the struggles we have had over the years have absolutely been beyond that of an ND child.

OP, I'm surprised you don't see how problematic your post is.

You've essentially stated that, based on your purely anecdotal evidence, diagnoses are "ridiculous" and then you go on to question why we aren't making the diagnostic criteria "harder."

So what's your solution, Judgy McJudgypants?

You sound like my youngest's SENCO who told me she wouldn't qualify for any reasonable adjustments because she didn't have a diagnosis. So I went to seek a diagnosis (2.8 years waiting list, btw), and now that I've got one, and we've finally started meds, people like you waddle along and say "i doN't BeLiEvE shE has ADHD beCaUsE too maNy kIdS hAvE it thEsE daAaAys"

and "shE doEsN'T sEeM liKe sHe haS ADHD..."

If you don't see how that's provocative, I don't know how to help you.

Oh, the old 'you only got a diagnosis because you paid for it' rubbish.

Are you aware that many professionals who are qualified to diagnose autism and other neurodiversity work both for the NHS and in their own private practice.

Are you suggesting that these peoples' professional integrity is in question, that despite identical diagnostics they somehow would favour private patients?

Are you suggesting that there's a whole slew of medical doctors behaving unethically then, because that's what this sounds like. That doctors, because they are being paid privately, are giving positive diagnoses where they're not warranted and medically justified?

And the idea that you think receiving a positive diagnosis is some kind of 'win' for parents, beggars belief.

As a teacher yourself, what hope do children have with attitudes like this.

To be fair, I coughed my way through every winter as a child, sometimes becoming breathless, sometimes being sick. As an adult until my late 30s every time I got a cold, I coughed for six weeks or so.

Both my dc had bronchiolitis, quite badly as children. Both were diagnosed by hospital consultants as asthmatic. Knowledge grows over time. If I get a cold now, I start a steroid inhaler. I don't get coughs any more.

The world and knowledge move on. All the time. It's a bit like my great grandmother becoming unwell aged 82 and it being put down to failing health and old age. She had a breast removed due to a huge mass five years earlier. In 1966 there was not a whisper of cancer. One looks back and of course it was.

Your post has made me cry as I know it's exactly what our family and friends think of us pursuing a diagnosis for our daughter. She presents just as you describe in your OP as she masks brilliantly. At home however we are dealing with daily meltdowns which involve her hitting, biting and kicking us. My husband has to barricade himself with our youngest in a room to protect her. She gets hysterical if there is a slight change in routine, or if she is overwhelmed by anything...running into the road, climbing over neighbours fences. We're desperate for help and a greater understanding of her condition....your ignorance makes this all so much harder.

I'm sorry you are going through all that 💐 sounds very tough.

I'm not sure how my own ignorance, given I have nothing to do with you and have never met you, make a your life harder. But I'm sorry if it does

Our private assessment was carried out by exactly the same team that carries out NHS assessments, ours just took place in the evenings and weekends.

We paid for an assessment, not a diagnosis.

To be fair, the op has exercised some reflection throughout the thread and apologised to some of us for causing offence. I hope there have been learnings.

Have you ever heard of masking, OP?

Apologies if this has been discussed as haven't read the full thread. But this is a genuine question