Won’t take no for an answer

[Ducky98]

Just looking for some advise on how others would handle this.

I regularly meet up with a friend for a coffee, we sometimes have a cake too. I am trying to loose weight and have found by eliminating calorie heavy food such as cake works better for me than having it occasionally, I have a bit of cake realise how nice it then ending up eating it more often zero control and comfort eat.
However she just won’t take I don’t want any for an answer I have explained my reasons but she will repeatedly encourage me to eat it. She means well but I know what works for me and I have better control if I cut these foods completely. I have tried telling but she just says you don’t need to loose weight. I am not super overweight but I certainly would benefit from loosing a bit of weight.

anyone got any suggestions how to get the message across.

She can't force it down your throat, so simply don't eat it. Meet her at places that don't sell cake. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Keep saying NO THANK YOU and just don’t eat any.

Don’t make any excuse, just say you don’t fancy it and thanks anyway

X, if you keep asking me to eat cake I won’t be able to meet you anymore. You mean well but it’s making the time with you not as enjoyable.

This my usual tactic but it she just won’t drop it and then questions if I am eating enough. It’s done from a good place and nothing but care but takes over the conversation.

She'll have to take no for an answer 🤷‍♂️

Also, can you avoid meets where food may be involved?

But ultimately it's tough shit anyway if no is your answer.

That sounds good, @Futurethinking2026 , but I think I would be tempted to leave out "I won't be able to meet you anymore"

How about:
X, when you keep asking me to eat cake it makes our time together not as enjoyable, even though you mean well. I would love it if you would just stop.

I too would say no to meeting up if she's not going to respect your life choices.

“Do you want to see me dying of a heart attack, stroke or developing diabetes?”

Ask her that hen she keeps insisting. A bit shocking but perhaps but might make her think?

How about meeting for lunch instead? Somewhere with some healthy choices on the menu?

Why do you think she means well? I think you need to be extremely blunt. Tell her before you go out that she can absolutely eat what she wants but you need her to be supportive or you will leave. You need to do this for your health.

This is a fab idea thank you.

She is a sensitive sole so don’t want to upset her I think that answer is gets point over but still nice so she wouldn’t be hurt

Do the blind repetition thing.

Offers of cake: "no thanks" the first time, then "I've already said no" every other time.

Comments on diet/weight: "I don't need diet advice, thanks" the first time, then drop the thanks every other time.

Repeat word for word every single time!

You say you don't want to upset her because she's sensitive but she's not sensitive to your wishes is she?
The more you explain, the more opportunities you give her to talk you around
I think " No, I don't want any" will suffice
Get used to saying it before you meet up if you find it hard
She's rude

It’s interesting how these sensitive people are so insensitive to other people, isn’t it?

Personally I’d deal with it head on but people on here are strangely unable to advocate for themselves so I’m guessing that may not be an option.

Meet somewhere that isn't a coffee shop or if that's difficult can you take something with you that you would be happy to eat.

But the ideal scenario is you keep saying NO and stick to it.

I know it might seem like a cop out, because it doesn't address the problem, but I have a friend like that and I've found that meeting for brunch works a million times better. Even when she invariably tries to insist I have the calorific french toast, I can be enthusiastic and say how much I fancy poached eggs.

It probably is a cop out, but apart from that quirk we have a very nice catch up and she understands particular aspects of my life more than other friends, so I don't want to stop seeing her.

She sounds like she’s not listening to you or respecting you. I couldn’t be bothered with that sort of nonsense.

Meet and get a takeaway coffee then go for a walk? Away from the cake temptation and also increasing the step count. Win win?

Just keep repeating no thank you/ i dont want any.
A woman at my work was like this with the tin of sweets at christmas. Every hour or two she would do a round of the office. If you said no she went all mrs doyle on you.
She ended up putting them on my desk 🤣. They were still there on her next round.

She cant force feed you. If she buys you one and gets annoyed you dont eat it just say i told you i didnt want one You have it

I find the people who criticise your own eating habits are often feeling very insecure about their own. I've had a lot of stick over the years for not wanting cake. I just don't want cake. If I wanted cake, I'd have cake. People are the same with alcohol. It seems like if your plate or cup doesn't look similar to theirs, they start to worry that they've got too much in front of them. Then they try to add to your plate/cup to make themselves feel better. They're making your eating habits all about them which isn't particularly sensitive or thoughtful.

Rather than saying I’m trying to lose weight say some thing like I’m stuffed from earlier or I can’t eat now now because it gives me indigestion. Also just never eat the cake rather than giving in.

Is she overweight too? Maybe she’s jealous of the control you’re displaying by saying no

this is it, i love her to bits and she is has got me through some really bad times. She just doesn’t like to think I am denying myself something and it making myself unhappy.

.