To not give son pocket money

[Osory]

My son has just started engineering in Uni. It's a local college so he's living at home. We paid tuition and pay for DSs food, board, phone, gym, travel.
Have asked him to get a job to pay for other things - one shift a week maybe in local pub. He says he doesn't have time as is so busy with college and clubs.
Do most parents give pocket money while in college?
He's not split at all, asks for nothing really but seems under pressure with college

If you are paying for all that then surely he has the option of getting a student loan if he can't/won't work.

How does what you give him compare with the max maintenance loan amount available to students living at home? That is some sort of benchmark at least. I would not anticipate giving him extra pocket money but I do think he needs some agency to make his own decisions.

No. If he's too busy with college and clubs, when he has he got time to spend and enjoy this pocket money anyway?

DS is doing engineering degree. He doesn’t work during term time, but would have time to do at least one shift at weekend. However, he works all through the holidays to build up his funds. He gets minimum loan and at the moment only gets £100 a month and his phone bill paid by us.

Did he know you would just be covering basics before the summer? If he had time to save up some money and chose not to then I would leave him to it. He will work out a way to make some extra money.

Student loan is the answer.

Logically might make more sense for him to take a loan for fees and you pay his living costs which will be much less than uni fees

He didnt work during the summer. First few weeks he was recouping after a really tough leaving cert year and then the time was too broken up with trips/holidays.

I didn't even suggest working in the past.. As he's simple needs doesn't really ask for anything, plays basketball and music in his friends houses. Wears the same clothes for years etc.

He's always been a 'cheap' teenager but now it would be nice if he worked maybe one shift a week to supplement nights out, protein powder, lunches at college etc.

I have suggested it a few times but he's not keen , says he has no time. So not sure whether to leave him to it or start giving him a bit of pocket money.

Uni thankfully isnt expensive in county we live in (3k contribution per year). There isn't really a student loan system as a result and I wouldn't want him getting a normal loan. After that it's groceries, phone, gym, bus... So not massive costs but it does add up.. just not sure if I'm being a bit mean not giving him a bit pocket money - we are comfortable financially (if having a nice life but constantly overspending is covered by that definition!)

How does he otherwise pay for nights out, protein powder, lunches out etc?

He's currently using birthday money (which is about to run out) and we give him the odd bit

OK. Would be helpful to explain not in the UK, as that is what most people will assume and will think about the UK universities funding approach etc.

What is normal where you are and what do all his friends do?

Presumably, he is 18+ so is perfectly capable of working out what his priorities are. If it is playing basketball and music in friend's houses, then he sucks it up being skinned throughout college. If he wants to go out and pay for his protein and lunches, he will find the time to do some work by giving up basketball and hanging out in friends' houses. If you continue giving him money, he is not likely to be "keen" to work, Is he?

I'm not sure actually... I should ask around.. when I was in college (same city living at home) we all took part time jobs so that s why I assumed he would... But I studied history and think engineering more full on.

He makes time to get a job, plenty of seasonal work right now. Thousands of students every year have no choice. First year is not that time consuming.

He doesn't need protein powders or a gym membership. Stop paying for them. If he wants them, he goes out and earns the money for them.

DS 17 has a job he does at weekends and really loves going in. No excuse for not working tbh. There are loads of jobs part time which offer flexibility for young people. DS has learned to be good with time management.

@Osory is it Ireland where you are? My partner and now his younger sister studied engineering in Ireland whilst living at home. They both got part time jobs but partner did quit for the final year to focus on college.

Again, it would help to know what country to help know what level of uni work is expected. In the UK engineering can be done pretty much within a 9-5 5 day week with an occasional crazy late night or weekend so it is perfectly possible to have a part time job. Not sure about the requirements elsewhere. Also, if he waits till the end of uni to try to get a job and has no work experience at all it may be very difficult for him to get anything. Employers can be quite wary of people who have never worked.

Yes we re in Dublin.. that's interesting that they managed PT work outside of final year, yes I think he should make time for a shift a week in the local pub or whatever. But between lectures and college sports clubs he's a bit wrecked...

He's always been an easy teen and asks for little so that's why I don't like pushing him too much but we need to claw back some of our funds as are constantly overspending!

Yeah I agree with you, whilst he is in the first few years then a job of some kind would be good for him. Does he need driving lessons? The money he earns could pay for them or go towards a car/insurance when he graduates if he doesn't spend much. Will he be doing the j1? I'm sure extra money would be useful for him at some point in the future!

Having a part time job is generally brilliant preparation for adult life.

It would be good for him to start to learn that compromises need to be made. He can't do uni and all the sports because he won't have any money.

Or maybe he can but then it is his choice that he has no money

It's Ireland I presume. As we call our final school exams the Leaving Cert

"Just covering basics"...have I read that right? They are literally paying for EVERYTHING for him. Apart from his fun money.

My son is at uni doing the same thing, he works 1 day a week and 1 evening at the weekend and earns plenty for fun things and increasing savings. Your son is having a laugh.

Op, Irish person here as well. I think it would be good for him to get a job. You are paying for a lot here. My mam and Dad expected me to work during college and it really did prepare me for the working world. It's so expensive now between books, materials, and if he wants a social life, he needs to fund it. I think he'll get a shock when you stop doing for good otherwise.

For context, I did history and english in uni and then my postgraduate in teaching. I taught for free 8-1 everyday during teacher training , college 2-6 and Thurs , Fridays, Saturday and Sunday worked in late night retail and all day on weekends.

Wow, OP. I think he extremely fortunate to have such a supportive parent who is able and willing to pay for virtually everything whilst he is at uni. He is, after all, an adult. I think getting a job if he wants extras is a non-negotiable. It will also set him up because having no work experience at all will not work in his favour once he has finished his degree. He wouldn't have to work much at all, less than 10 hours a week would be enough. He would be working for pocket money and experience, not living expenses.