To ask what you’d do if you were 37 and TTC naturally for the first time?

[DragonflyRuby]

We’ve decided to try for a baby properly for the first time. I had a v. Early mc when I was 33 which was an unplanned pregnancy. At a scan after they said all looked well so assuming that’s true what would you/did you do to give yourself the best chance? I know I’ve left it pretty late but that’s just the way life worked out.

I’ve bought folic acid, we’re DTD like rabbits and I’ve bought some ovulation sticks to try but any top tips would be much appreciated!

Positive story here: I convinced naturally first time at 37, after being on the pill and the coil for 20 years! I'd literally had my coil taken out a week earlier..didn't even get my period before I was pregnant!

Yep. I was the same as you. It took about 9 months and now he's a 14 year old teenage (lovely) monster.
I'm glad I was older. I had so much more patience.

It really does because I'm living proof. If you've got nothing helpful to add just pipe down.

No advice ... but plenty of women do conceive naturally in their late 30s/40s ... I did at 42 ... (first child) wasn't even 'trying' ... DH was much keener than me !

Track ovulation

Don't have sex everyday- have it every other day (the sperm need a tad longer to regenerate properly, especially if the bloke is a bit older - google it, I'm not making this up). Also you really only need to focus on the sex around ovulation time.

Use pre-seed - Google it, you can get it from larger Boots that have a good section for TTC. It's absolutely amazing stuff - read the reviews.

Take your vitamins

Track your cycle

Don't forget your own orgasm after his. There's a biological function to the female orgasm - it launches the sperm inside you and really helps push it up. So once it's in - make sure you then finish.

If you like a drink, have a drink (not excessively but you don't need to ban that Friday night glass of wine if you usually have it).

Eat well for sure but don't ban foods, don't start throwing your body into any sort of shock diet. I can't stress this enough - don't start frantically exercising if you're not someone who exercises. That sort of thing.

Stress is nature's natural contraception. So the best thing you can do is make just those minor adjustments - the vitamins, a few more veggies on your plate, one less cup of coffee - but don't go mad. Eat well but don't start doing any detoxing.

Get outside, take some walks, be a bit more in nature, do things that make you happy.

Your DH needs to keep his balls cool - back off from jacuzzi's, tight boxers, hot baths, sitting with his laptop on his lap etc.

We did all the above, conceived the 2nd month of trying. I was nearly 40yrs.

Not from personal experience, but a friend’s: if you’re not successful within the first 6 months of TTC, don’t hang around waiting for the NHS to do tests, if you can afford to do them privately.

To be fair, it doesn’t really prove anything as you don’t know if you would have conceived without having done it.

I suffered from recurrent UTIs in my early 20s so always go for a wee immediately after sex, and I’ve conceived 9 times on the first or second try (had lots of mcs due to a now diagnosed immune issue), so you definitely don’t need to lie down or do anything special afterwards.

OP I’m pregnant now at 37 and as above conceived first month trying.

No one can say something "definitely works" about anything. Just because something worked for you doesn't mean it will for everyone. That's like saying only having sex once on your period definitely works because it happened to you. The only time I conceived naturally was when I had covid. But I don't think this is what made it definitely work.
The only thing that is most LIKELY to work is to have regular sex around your ovulation time. Is it guaranteed? No. If you're worried about your age and want to try and speed it up use ovulation sticks. Get as healthy as possible. Take vitamins esp Folic acid.
For most people just having regular sex will be enough eventually. Using ovulation sticks will increase chances if you have unusual cycles and aren't sure when you ovulate.
You just need a healthy sperm to meet a healthy egg and enough luck that it implants successfully. At 37 chances are very much on your side.

Track cycles and ovulation on an app. I used natural cycles first time and flo second. You don't need to do it all the time to get pregnant, just target the best days. I got pregnant at 36 within a few months of doing this after getting pregnant after 9 months at 34 also doing this.

The first time I did realise I had quite irregular cycles and my leutal phase was often too short. I took some vitamin supplements that support hormone balance and fell pregnant the following month.

Also, stop drinking if you drink.

I’ve bought folic acid, we’re DTD like rabbits and I’ve bought some ovulation sticks to try but any top tips would be much appreciated

The only thing you need out of this sentence is the folic acid, statistically the best way to get pregnant is not to track but simply to have sex every two to three days.

This is because ovulation doesn't always occur at a predictable moment (as PPs have observed regarding sticks giving different results to trackers and so on), so what you want to do is just make sure there are always living sperm waiting for an egg as soon as it's released. Sperm can live for up to seven days but at 2-3 days you'll have a lot of healthy ones still, any longer than that and they'll start dying off quickly.

Tracking and peeing on ovulation sticks can raise your stress levels which counteracts their usefulness. I'd give it six months of regular sex, orgasming will raise your chances as will lying on your back with your legs on the wall for ten minutes. (I'm not familiar with the assertion that this does nothing except cause UTIs, as far as I'm aware it actually raises chances of conception by 20%!)

Conceived first month doing this aged 35.

Folk saying to just have sex on certain days are wrong. I remember seeing an interview with Professor Robert Winston who is a leading fertility expert and he said frequently couples come and say we have sex on the most fertile day of the month and it isn't happening. He tells them they need to have WAY more sex on all different days and often that works before any medical intervention.

It really does because I'm living proof. If you've got nothing helpful to add just pipe down.

It proves nothing except that you happened to conceive afterwards. Unless there's another you in an identical situation that didn't do it and didn't conceive, all you have is a singular anecdote. It's not evidence of anything.

Well I bought 2 ovulation kits to pinpoint the moment. Nothing showed. My temperature never rose either. A specialist scanned me and confirmed the egg had never launched. Two days later I had a positive test. Twins run in my family so I have always thought the egg that didn't launch was the twin that missed out. I was nearly 37 - a few months off. It took us 3 months at 37. It took us a month with our first at 34. I did the legs stuck up the wall thing too.

We tried to conceive for 4 years in our mid 30s without success. DTD very regularly and started to think it was never going to happen.

One month we barely went near each other, both had been away with work and away on stag/hen dos and both had been unwell and I think we managed to DTD just the once ….. thank god we did as I ended up pregnant with twins.

Stop DTDing like rabbits. Work out when your fertile period is and get DH to store up his sperm to use when you're most fertile.

They're not wrong. After a few months of nothing happening for me I used digital ovulation sticks and pinpointing my most fertile day absolutely worked for me. Twice.

My gynecologist said that the best sign of ovulation was clear stringy mucous. It beat counting days, temperature taking and predictor kits. It was definitely true in my case as I conceived on day 25. The specialist apparently used to fall about laughing when people mentioned rhythm birth control.

Easier said than done but managing stress. I found acupuncture helpful.

You aren’t particularly old OP ! I got pregnant the first night we tried, at 42.
I got pregnant in the third month of trying at 40. Just have sex when you are just about to ovulate and through ovulation. 🤞.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum

not every woman can orgasm during penetration.

@Sugargliderwombat

“Also, stop drinking if you drink.“

im not sure putting your life on hold like that is the best advice!

Thanks so much for all the encouragement! I’m the last of all my friends to have kids, by quite a few years so feel on the “old” side even though I don’t feel it! Really helpful to hear lots of positive stories.

Also sounds pretty good in that neither of us drink except for a couple on special occasions, both a healthy weight and I strength train 3/4 times a week (really appreciate the comment about strengthening core/pelvic floor as my core is my weakest area!).

Supplements wise I’m going to do folic acid, Vit D and Coq10 but once I’ve finished those I’ll probably just get some all in one conception ones that have all that. I want to track ovulation to start with just so I can check I am actually ovulating, don’t know why I feel worried but about 10 years ago I had really irregular cycles for a few years, possibly related to the fact I was overweight. I’ve had regular 28-30 day cycles for the last 5 years now though.

I don’t think I ever managed to get a positive on an ovulation stick, including the month I got pregnant!
agree with pp about egg white mucous. DTD when this shows up/just before is the best bet!

Sex every 2 days.
myo inositol.
pre natals.
no alcohol and cut caffiene.

The stats on this show that women whose HCG levels were low didn't find coffee unappealing, and also were high risk for miscarriage. So it's miscarriage risk -> drinking coffee, not the other way round.