To feel violated

[OopsyDaisie]

Something really weird happened on the tube just now and I feel shaken....
Loads of room, but this large strong young man sat right next to me and his arm touching mine (like menspredonf but with this arms, if that makes sense)
I kept "keeping my space", forcing my arm to stay strong nad not me, but ke kept pushing and pushing his arm... I got frustrated and kept not moving... but then when I kept not moving, he started moving his arm around in circles, pressing mine, it started to remind me of sexual movements if that makes sense... and at that point I starting feeling very scared.... I didn't want to complain (very scared and aware of how large and strong he was, what if he followed.me out at the station?).
I waited a few second after the train stopped (last station), he didn't move! Waited for me. So I got up but instead of going put of the station I walked back ti the rear if the train... he didn't see me and left, and I stayed back for a few minutes shaking. Am I overreacting?

No, you’re not over-reacting.

He sounds vile.

No, you are not over reacting. At the very least, his behaviour was weird. You are feeling shaken up because it is your nervous system's response to the situation.

You did everything right. You got yourself out of a potentially tricky even harmful situation.

Where are you now?

How awful, sorry this has happened to you. Thankfully you got home safely. I have had a few bad experiences on the tube aswell, once I did call the police and they were helpful. There is the option of texting British transport police if anything like this happens again.

Dickhead. Report to transport police.

That's awful. You poor thing.

That’s awful. Hope you are feeling calmer and in a safe place now xx

No you're not overreacting, that was creepy and weird. Hope you're OK now.

What?? No it's not. It's not part and parcel of living anywhere.

Report it. They'll have it on camera.
People like that go on to do worse - these types of intimidation are a warm up / practice for worse to come.

Thank God you got away.
Stay safe and stay vigilant.
Anyone would be freaked out by that

Really bizarre thing to say

I live in London and no this is not normal! Of course it isn’t!

please report. You didn’t right thing.

Report it, absolute weirdo he is.

No, you're definitely not overreacting, please do report it to the station staff or transport police straightaway if you can and prioritise your safety getting home.

What a total fuckface of a bloke. I am so sorry you have had this happen, I have had similar intimidating behaviour run-ins over not ceding personal space on trains but always on busy morning trains where I have been able to be loud and vocal about it (bastards), I think I would have felt a lot more vulnerable in the situation you describe. Anecdotally it seems to be becoming more common, there are just some men who are horrid bullies who enjoy flexing what tiny power they have.

Thanks! I waited some minuets and called and Uber (and looked around everywhere to make sure he wasn't there, or I would talk to a security guard atvthe station!)
I'm now home and still a bit shaken!

First time it ever happened to me! Been living in London for 12 years!
It felt really really weird, I felt almost abused, if I didn't know abuse can be 10000x worse, so I won't go that far

Why on earth didn't you just move

Report to British Transport Police.

And you definitely didn’t overreact! There is no such thing as an overreaction in these circumstances, because the outcome of under reacting doesn’t bear thinking about.

So sorry this happened to you.

I don’t think you over reacted at all. And even if you did, better to overreact and be safe than do nothing.

And no @GentleFinch, this has nothing to do with living in London, fucking creepy men are everywhere.

@OopsyDaisie if this ever happens again, text 61016 https://www.btp.police.uk/police-forces/british-transport-police/areas/campaigns/61016-text-service/

Hope you’re feeling better now

The tube is full of weirdos. Yeah it would have weirded me out, but I'm a bit of a fuck off person so I would have told him to pack it in or just walked away.

What? So weird creepy men aren’t anywhere else? Very odd thing to say.

OP you aren’t overreacting and this definitely warrants reporting. There’s a campaign about sexual harassment on the tube and this very much falls into what it’s about.

Thanks everyone! I feel much more understood after your comments! I feel I handled it in a safe way, as I wss afraid of moving and he moving after me, and even worse if I was to say something to him, on an almost empty carriage fairly late at night....

I know what you mean OP. I meet a weirdo on the tube years ago starting waving porno mags under my nose. I managed to annoy him by “accidentally” elbowing him in the arm (maybe not the wisest thing to do on reflection). I was worried he’d follow me so I got off at the next station but he didn’t follow me thankfully 😬

'@FestiveBakewell
Why on earth didn't you just move'

Why on earth isn't a woman able to use public transport without being harassed by a man.

That should be the question, not your victim blaming nonsense.

Nope if someone harassed me I would move simple.

What if he followed you?

I had a situation with a man on the train when I was with my kids you don’t think I was scared a lone woman and even worse with her kids? but I got myself and my kids up and MOVED and threatened to call the police if he followed me. This man didn’t even speak to the op the one that approached me was threatening me why would I just sit there 😕