Teenager sat outside window!

[butterfly245]

wide awake disturbed and upset…

my toddler came running into our bedroom about an hour ago, and to take him back to his own room he needed some settling down he was quite upset.

in his room I saw flashing lights from outside. Not sure if that’s what woke him but it was similar to flashes of lightening. When I looked out the window, two people were sat right underneath his window on their phones! We have a shed roof underneath which is shared with the neighbour as it’s a terraced house. I’m guessing they sat on our side because there’s bushes on theirs.

OH went out to tell them they’d woken up a toddler and they apologised and moved. Looked like teenagers and their window was wide open so clearly they’d climbed out of there.

Would I be acting OTT to talk to the neighbour again about it or even seek some legal advice? I’m so disturbed at the idea of a stranger sat outside my child’s window, I can’t sleep 😢 I do have some past trauma around an ex partner who used to loiter outside my house and bang on the windows so this may be clouding my judgement. OH moving them on may be enough?

I’m not sure I understand the set-up, are these kids from your neighbours house? Or just randoms sitting there?
I can see how it would be discomfiting but I’d probably not go as far as legal advice, they probably just didn’t realise they were being so intrusive.
I get a bunch of students talking outside my house really late quite often- I honestly don’t think it occurs to them that anyone might be able to hear them🙄

Is it a public road or were they in your garden? If public then YABU. If your garden then have a word with their parents if you know them, that's not ok. But legal advice? What??

Let it go.
If it happens again talk to parents.

He asked them to move, they did, I'm not sure what further needs doing?

They moved and apologised.

Leave it be unless it happens again.

Teenager SITTING outside window.
😤

No they're not, they moved.

First time, and they apologised and moved... teenagers don't always think do they so as they're neighbours I'd leave it for now and assume they won't do it again, given that they were told they woke up a kid. If they do it again, then of course speak to their parents.

I’m with others that have said leave it unless it happens again. If they apologised it sounds like they are good kids that didn’t really think through their actions,

I guess you don’t remember being a teenager? They’d probably just didn’t even think - they said sorry and left.

Would I be acting OTT to talk to the neighbour again about it or even seek some legal advice?

Kindly, yes. Very.

What exactly is it you're worried about? Presumably your child being a toddler you have the bedroom window locked anyway?

So it's next doors teens sitting on the roof of a shared shed or is it your shed? I assume they climbed out for a bit of peace and didn't realise they were disturbing your child. I probably would do anything about them but I would consider your security if this shed could be used for climbing into your home by people with nefarious intentions.

A teenager is still a child even if they look big and scary. They apologised and moved. No harm done. As others have said, if it happens again, then i would let the parents know.

I voted YABU not because I think you're unreasonable to be scared, given your history, but because you shouldn't worry OP. They're teens, they don't care about property boundaries to the extent adults do. It doesn't sound like they meant to be disrespectful, and they apologised.

If they do it again that's another thing, but this is just annoying, not sinister.

Your DC is okay, honestly. Give it a day and you'll probably feel lots better about this.

Have you had therapy for the past trauma?

They apologised and moved. I’d leave it unless it happens again.

Thank you for replies.

They don’t live next door but were friends of neighbours as clearly that’s where they’d climbed out. It’s not public it’s a shed in my back garden but the roof part is shared as it’s terraced. They were on our side right underneath his window.
As I was sleepy my first thought was it was a burglar waiting to break in (as they’d have heard him crying)! So yeah it did frighten me.

yes I have had therapy etc and it was a long time ago, but some things still stay with me and boundaries is one of them. I agree now this probably won’t happen again, but I panicked about the possibility that it could. And they were taking photographs which I know is extreme but it’s still the background of my house and garden in those pics. Which is why I said legal. But I get that is now too OTT.

They moved. What's the issue?

the stuff I just said..

But you didn't get the vibe they had criminal intent? They were just being teens? Therefore photos etc aren't important.

Nothing happened though..

I totally understand why it freaked you out.

Given they apologised and moved, I think I’d just leave it. Chances are they won’t do it again, they just didn’t think it through. As someone already said, teenagers are just big kids, they don’t make reliably good judgements! Of course if they do it again, then it would be reasonable to escalate it, go round and talk to the neighbour.

They moved when you asked them and you are thinking about legal advice?

If it was a nightly occurrence or they had ignored you then I understand your post but otherwise no.

…so they were staying next door .. climbed out if the window .. and were sat on your side of the wall. If there were guests, and unaware of the set up, they may not have realised they were on your property.

Photos of the back of your house ?? Not sure what anyone would do with those. Anyone who walks past can see the back of your house. You can probably see more in Google maps than sitting outside in the dark.

You could put something on your shed roof to prevent this, if it continues to bother you. But also be aware it sounds like your own dc could use this as an escape route when he is older!

Yes I did at first. I saw a dark figure sitting on my roof so I assumed it was a burglar