AIBU or is DH....crypto and finances one...

[CryptoMadDH]

Not sure how much info to include so I'll try be succinct, no intention to drip feed so sorry if stuff is missing...

DH is really into crypto, done tons of research and sounds like he knows what he's on about (I wouldn't know, no clue or interest in crypto, maybe I should). He's started looking into investment and crypto and has set up VUSAs? And has crypto wallets etc.

We've had a big disagreement as he wants to throw a lot of money into crypto for the next few months in preparation for a 'bull run' - which I'm guessing is basically when prices rocket and profit can be made. I'm saying he cant put all his spare cash in each month as there's leisure, social etc...he's saying I'm shortsighted with this.

Brief preface: together 14 years since teenagehood. Married. Dc. He's a great dad, great/affectionate/loving husband...hands on does way more than his share and is supporting me with doing more cleaning/managing life admin/all dc stuff whilst I'm working and doing my masters. We're terrible at saving (well, I am, impulsive ADHD and binge buy). I'm very risk averse and he believes no risk no reward.

AIBU to be so risk averse? Am I being shortsighted??

No one who knows what they're doing on crypto would be putting all their money into it. Never invest more than you can afford to lose.

The chances are high he will lose most of that money and low that he will make a big profit. What often occurs is a profit is made, which encourages the venture and then a loss of all funds shortly afterwards. So basically as long as you as a family are willing to lose all crypto money for the small chance of a profit, carry on.

Crypto is a scam.

It's a scam.

Crypto is high risk.

He should only put money in it he is happy to lose, like any other high risk investment.

Personally I'd let him waste some of his own money assuming it's not a large amount.

Like any investment - you can risk losing it so DO NOT put in more than you can afford to lose. Cryto is a strange one, and it very much depends which he’s into.

He's the one who's a fool OP. Does he gamble on other things too?

He should put in as much as he’s prepared to lose.

Can you afford to lose it? Do you have other savings, pensions or investments? If the answers to those is yes go right ahead.

would you cry if you took that amount out in cash and it got lost or was in a house fire? If the answer to that is yes then don’t go ahead.

To me it’s gambling. Fine if you have the money and self control but in my world, unless your mortgage is paid off, you have no debt, savings and oensuons sorted you can’t afford mot gamble.

Okay, so initial thoughts are that I'm not just being short sighted.

I will add that I don't trust my own judgement with money either (overspend, impulsive) so it's not as if I think I'm the root of all financial soundness.

We're a normal ish income house, £80k joint. Debts (car, house repairs) to pay off and mortgage so whilst we have spare money, it's not tons and tons of it and we have a lot of expenses coming up also such as destination weddings.

@MadnessIsMyMiddleName Nope, not a gambler, no addictions, no prior debts that he acquired without me, this is why it's such a weird one. It's not a pattern of behaviour of his. He's genuinely a normal, kind, and loving husband/dad!

@WhitegreeNcandle Well, as long as he's not putting stupid amounts in, we could lose it but it'd be painful.

No, crypto is hugely risky and you can lose it all by just losing the wallet key, let alone the investment going south. Play money only.

One challenge back to you is to add up how much you are losing on the binge buying. I am not saying that you are blowing family money, so he should get to lose it too, but it will get your finances in better shape to get a handle it. You may not be as risk averse as you think you are are if you are losing money in other ways.

It's gambling.

If it comes out the way he hopes then great, he could make a fortune.

But if - as is far more likely - it goes pear-shaped, then he'll lose it all

@SprigatitoYouAndIKnow Yeah I've heard this about the wallet and he is very secure with it I believe.

I totally take on board about my spending. It must feel hypocritical to him. He said similar as I spend a lot on clothes and what he considers other frivolities each month whereas he hardly buys himself anything (out of choice!) and is happy to invest rather than consume. I know I need to get this in order and hoping ADHD meds will help curb some of this impulse.

Just shared this with my OH who is also very into crypto. He said he is investing in bitcoin and Jasmy and looking to get out next autumn. He also wants to know what your DH is investing in!

I have the tiniest amount of bitcoin. It is worth 10% more than when I bought it 2 years ago, I did buy at the wrong time though.

Personally I don’t trust it and treat it like gambling…

I know someone who made millions in crypto, but he invested in Bitcoin at the very start. I wouldn't invest in crypto at all. It's probably too late.

Fair point, I hadn't thought of it that way. I'd seen it as he had put it to me, as risky investment. I really don't know much about it and haven't the mental energy to research it in a deep dive like I usually would as I'm just not interested in it!!! And think it's a pointless risk.
Although I do know a couple of people who have made some money from it.

I think that as it is his “spare cash” (spending money/disposable cash) then it is his to do with as he wants.

You spend yours on clothes, leisure and social activities. I don’t see any issue with him diverting all of his spending money for a few months to crypto.

People generally come unstuck through greed, they imagine enormous profits they don’t want to miss out on, and that drives them to invest more in something than they normally would risk.

It “could” pay off, but if it does and you’ve stacked a load of eggs in that basket it hurts all the more if you lose them all.

This is why people diversify their investments, to spread risk around. You see less upside if one investment (like crypto) happens to do brilliantly, but you can console yourself with the thought that you would experience less pain if it crashed!

I would see crypto as worth some investment if you have an appetite for risk, but only alongside other more stable investments, and not more than I could afford to lose.

Crypto is a very risky investment. If you're really lucky with timing then you could make a lot of money. And if you're really lucky with choosing the right horses you could make a lot of money betting on the Grand National. The difference is that betting on horse races has at least some legal oversight so isn't anywhere near as infested with scammers and blatant theft as crypto is.

Op putting all ones money into any one thing us hugely risky like investing all your money in tesla?

It doesn't even matter that it's bitcoin.

It’s just essentially a totally unregulated currency. The days of making millions are gone. Absolutely nothing to stop someone just running off with the money, Dr Ruja-style.

This!, 200%!!

Friend has been in crypto for the last 5 years. He's built up a portfolio and invested £14k. It's currently sitting at £40k. It's dropped as low as £2k. He's also expecting a bull run and believes it will make him around £10 million. I think he's in cloud cuckoo land. For his sake, I hope I'm wrong. He treats his investments like a second job.

I've put £50 a month into his tips since Christmas. My £500 is currently sitting at £1200.

So I don't think your OH is completely bonkers. But it should be money you're ready to lose. And not worth missing to curtail your lifestyle now. Agree a set amount for him to invest each month. Celebrate this time next year if he's right on the bull run. Have a "oh well" attitude if it all goes down the toilet.

It's SO risky and he absolutely shouldn't put in more than he's prepared to lose.
My OH's very deep into the crypto world and knows a lot about it from years of trial and error. He's made and lost thousands up and down and knows plenty of people who've lost everything.

You have to be so clever with it and REALLY know what you're getting into.
Make sure your husband really does his research and understands the very real risk.