40 years ago parents didn't stay with unwell babies?

[UndertheCedartree]

Am I right in thinking that 40 years ago if a baby was taken to the big city hospital (from being born at the local town hospital i.e critically ill/likely to die) that the parents and definitely the dad did not go with them?

That's so sad.

I had an operation aged four in 1976 and I stayed in hospital on my own for four days. I can still remember how awful it was.

I was very unwell when I was five - three weeks in hospital with a lot of painful test. Both my parents still went to work and my mum visited for an hour in the evening. I think my dad visited on Sundays. No one stayed over or stayed beyond the visiting hour.

they only time they came outside of visiting hours was when the consultant sent for them to discuss test results.

Thankfully though times have changed my then 16 year old was admitted to an adult critical care unit two years ago the staff were brilliant and bent over backwards to let me stay with My son he was at a weird age not a child but not an adult ,he was still at school at the time, they allowed me to spend six nights at his bed side untill we knew he would be OK.

I know my mum spoke to the nurses on the phone. I think they might have sent a photo of me. I was there for 8 weeks.

Former Communist country here, I don't know about babies, but five year olds 40 years ago were definitely alone in the hospital.
(I was 8, boy next bed 5). Just occasional visits, not extremely "emotionally fulfilling".
😕

I think not going with you was not that unusual but not visiting would have been.

I had heart surgery at age 3 in 1967, I have memories of standing crying in a metal cot waiting for my Mum. She told me visiting was twice a day for two hours at a time. It must have been very hard for her to leave me.

One of my earliest memories is being alone in hospital as a very young child. I was born in early 78 so this would have been maybe 81 or 82. I can remember looking for my parents and opening a cleaning cupboard. I remember feeling very alone. I think my parents would visit me but basically I was there alone. They’re both dead now so i can’t check my memory with anyone now sadly

When was your DH in hospital? It's good his mum was there!

Not really the same as the post, but 18 years ago our son had to stay overnight as a baby. We were given the option for one of us to stay, or go home. I believe nowadays you would be very expected to stay, as the staff wouldn’t have time to feed/change nappies/comfort a baby who wouldn’t sleep.

My sibling was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital, probably around 1980. No parents allowed to stay and children strapped into the beds so they didn't get up in the night (special needs).

my sister was born in the 60's - she needed long stays in hospital from being six months old till she was two. Our parents were allowed to visit from 6-6.30pm every day and then made to leave whilst she would be very distressed trying to get out of a large hospital cot and they were never allowed to stay any longer although they were desperate too.

I got left in a hospital 250 miles from home, not ill but waiting for an operation at age 7. It was horrendous, I was so lonely. Eventually they came and got me then took me back a week later. 50 years ago

That's very sad.

Born early 70s, never stayed in hospital but I grew up on Topsy and Tim and the ‘hospital’ themed book made it seem so great I desperately wanted a stay!

think parents staying started in the 80s to help the child but then it seems to have become to help the ward run. I stayed twice with my own child. It was an awful experience even in a private room. There weren’t enough staff to care for children in the absence of parents. I do recall though that the room next was decorated with lots of sensory lights and the little boy in there only had the occasional visit for an hour or so. I did feel sorry for him but if you have other children, or no transport, I don’t know what you are meant to do?

I was hospitalised for 2 weeks in 1982 aged about 2 yrs old. I grew up with a memory now of standing up in a metal cot and just being really upset. I can only remember that memory now rather than remembering the actual event if that makes sense. My mum and dad would walk away and hear me howling as they left at the end of visiting times.

Personally I would want to be with my child. I would find it harder to be prevented from staying.

Sorry to hear this @UndertheCedartree
I’m 48 and about 10 years ago - when I was in therapy - realised that my parents had ‘abandoned’ me as a newborn baby. When I challenged my mother on this - she was kept in at local hospital, I was put in an ambulance as a newborn to Bristol Children’s Hospital and given life saving surgery at 2 days old and my parents only visited when I was 5 days old - she apologised and just said ‘that’s how things were then’. I was in hospital for 6 weeks and I think she was then nearby. I had at least two other reasonably long stays in hospital - when I was 3 my mother did stay overnight (camp bed or local accommodation) when I was 8 she was only there in daytime. I was horrified to hear how some children’s hospitals had visiting hours still in 70s and 80s.

what made me work out the timing of when I was born was joining a Facebook group for other people with my condition and hearing the story of a woman similar to me in age who was also sent off to Bristol from the southwest and her mother was in the ambulance and her dad drove behind. My dad didn’t do that. I do have an older sister though who needed looking after.

I’ve name changed for this but do message me if you’d like. It can be hard to find out. Maybe you could join a Facebook group for your condition or see if there is now a charity for adults who had it as children, as I did? It’s been helpful to compare notes.

My sibling was in hospital in the mid-80s for weeks and my mother stayed with them.

Early 2000 I could stay with my daughter on the childrens ward, but there were children there longer term whose parents didn’t stay overnight.
I assume they had work and other children. There was no real accommodation for me to stay, a converted chair, no easy access to drink and food. And like my child no sleep, the night staff were disgraceful.
There was a scary male nurse coming in for observations, I found him scary, goodness knows what a child would feel, and the rest of the night staff, all older women, running up and down screeching and playing games all night, shocking.

The day staff were perfectly lovely, and as you expect.

This can’t be true. That couldn’t have been normal - even back then. What’s your MIL generally like?? I’m sorry but that sounds sociopathic.

I remember being in hospital for a few days when I was 10ish and my mum came at both visiting times but not overnight or all day. And my dsis being in at 4/5 for a week and I remember visiting after school with both parents, not sure if anyone was there during the day, but definitely not overnight. This was between 83-87 maybe?

I remember being in hospital with dd, 18 years ago, we were in for a week. I went home 3 times I think while different family stayed with her. Across the bay we were in was a little boy, he was about 8 I think. Had his appendix out and neither parent stayed with him, just visited for a couple of hours. He was so distressed, especially in a morning. His stepdad was quite controlling I think, overheard him saying he was a big boy now, and mummy needed to do the jobs at home etc. He was a police officer. Still think about him sometimes. Was a proper cunt.

I think it was very detrimental, yes.

Different times I know but when DF was 8 in 1943 he was admitted to hospital for 2 years due to Perthes. Visiting for his DM was the first and third Saturdays in the month for 2 hours. My DGM had 2 smaller DC so it was hard for her to go there on the bus during the war. My DGF was in the army so could visit at any time when he was on leave. DF read everything in the hospital, passed his 11+ early and is still going at 89. Things were just different back then.