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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel confused and hurt by a close friend’s hot and cold behaviour?

76 replies

TealDreamer · 24/10/2024 01:54

I’ve been close friends with a friend called Sandra for a couple of years now, and I’m feeling really confused and hurt by her recent behaviour. We have a great time together when we meet up. But then, out of the blue, she’ll stop replying to my texts and calls for weeks or even months, only to come back later with apologies and no explanation.

This has happened several times this year, and while I don’t want to keep chasing her, it’s making me question whether the friendship is really as meaningful to her as it seems when we’re together.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of hot and cold friendship? How did you deal with it, and did you ever resolve things?

OP posts:
Rumforme · 26/10/2024 07:33

Takes me a long time to reply too. Replying to messages is overwhelming and I usually put it off for ages. I think my friends self select down to the ones who don't mind this or have a similar approach. I'm ND and I suspect NT people think I'm unbearably rude for not replying or just end up not seeing me as a friend. Knowing this doesn't make staying on top of messages any easier. I've got take care of dc, myself, relationship and housework higher up on my metaphorical list than respond on WhatsApp most of the time and I'm not hitting my targets on all of those either.

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