To dislike WFH….

[Renovationat16fun]

I have worked from home since June 2021, for the first year it was hybrid, then 90% from home. Now I work from home full time (Monday- Friday 9-5) every day except once every 2 months. My office is not easy commuting distance.

I thought I would enjoy WFH as I thought I would love the flexibility but I am beginning to absolutely hate it. I work in an extremely demanding job and find I just sit in one place on my sofa all day and barely look up. I feel really, really isolated.
It’s making me want to leave my job, but I am worried about moving jobs again so soon as I have only been in this role for 4 months. It has made me realise that I miss my weekly / twice weekly office visits from my last job and I know now that I hugely underestimated the change.

AIBU? Does anyone else feel the same and does it feel a legitimate reason to leave a job?
I have 1 secondary school aged child and my partner doesn’t WFH so I am largely alone in the house from 8-4. We do regular TEAMS calls but it’s nothing like grabbing a coffee and a chat in the office. I think hybrid - 2 days per week at home - would be perfect for me.

I would search for other roles or see if your present role has the potential to be hybrid. I don't think WFH 100% of the time is healthy for the reasons that you've given. I WFH however have other things mixed in, I work in a university campus on Mondays and attend a running club, go different places other days of the week etc. it's absolutely normal to need more mental stimulus, change of scene and social interaction I think.

Don't forget how unbearable other people are

This! Is exactly why I wonder if I’m looking at it through rose tinted glasses.
I agree that a lot of people can be unbearable 🤣

First thing: Why are you sitting on your sofa and not at a dedicated work station? Your employer should provide a desk and ergonomic chair etc. Sort this out as a priority and book some Pilates classes to sort out your back.

Might it be possible for you to work from a library or a desk hub if you are missing day-to-day human interaction/company?

People can be unbearable, however I think there is a general human need to be around other people.

Rose tinted glasses. Also, it's not the same as before, there's less of a social element in the office these days. I barely know the people in mine, I go in once a week.

Agree with this. There is no longer the same buzz going into the office. Some days it is like a ghost town.

I also agree with the poster that said you should be sitting at a desk and not the sofa. Do you do teams/virtual calls from the sofa? Not sure how this can work.

I agree with @MeganM3
Both in that working in the office, when other people aren't, is very different from pre-2020 when everyone was in the office, by default.
But also in that I reckon, once you start adding in commute which can extend your day considerably, back on to every working day, and then all the annoying things about other people (different temperatures, inane chat, some want the radio on, others don't, etc, etc) sharing your space, you'd soon be longing for home again.

YANBU to dislike it, but you would immediately improve your day by not sitting on the sofa all day. You should be sitting up at a table. Your posture and your digestive system must be taking a hammering.

Also, go out somewhere every day - both a walk during your lunchbreak for fresh air and a bit of exercise, but also make sure you do things each week to get a fix of being social. That doesn't have to come from work colleagues.

I agree with this. I am retired now, but in my working life would have hated to WFH. Fortunately that was never going to happen, given that I was a receptionist. The best part of going to work, for me, was always the other people working there. I also look upon my home as my sanctuary, and would never have wanted work to encroach upon that.

Well, if you only go in once a week you are not going to know them are you? It's very different to going in every day.

Does your employer have a office-based or hybrid option?

If they do - ask them to switch you to it.

Plus one for a proper desk set up. If possible in a separate room. That way you don't feel like you never leave work. I would also recommend a quick walk around the block before and after work. It doesn't need to be long, but will give you a sense of separation between work and home even though you are in the same place.

I would also recommend seeing up a few 'coffee calls' with colleagues with the express purpose of catching up / chatting. Only for 5 or 10 minutes, and you can do it individually or even as a group. You won't be the only one feeling this way. I encouraged my team(s) to do all of these things and it made s big difference.

There's no legal requirement for OPs employer to provide her with a desk/chair, though I agree she should be working at one.

On the other point though, my DH actually feels similarly to you OP about WFH (personally I much prefer it), and he now works from a shared office space in our local town 2 days per week. He has regular days that he goes in, as do a couple of other people he's met there, so it has the feel of going "into the office" for him even though none of them work for the same company. I think it costs him around £20/day. Might be worth trying something similar before doing anything as drastic as quitting your job?

I agree that you need to have a proper wfh set up somewhere in your house. I need to be able to walk out of the room and shut the door on work at the end of the day.

I listen to podcasts/radio whilst working. Make sure you have breaks away from your work area, just like you would in an office. Always take a lunch hour and try to get out the house for some fresh air.

I do think that perhaps a change of role is the only real solution though.

I will often phone a friend/work colleague for a quick chat to have some contact with someone.

I'd set yourself a limit, such as Christmas. And if you're still feeling the same, then look for a hybrid role.

I did 100% WFH during Covid and I could now, but I much prefer a couple of days in the office. It invigorates me and helps me plough through the WFH better to have a mix

My husband has WFH since March 2020, and eventually realised 6 months ago how bad it was for his health. He took on a part time pub job, alongside, and absolutely loves it. It's a 'locals' pub, he has made friends from working there and just enjoys being with people. The extra money is a bonus, we don't rely on it, so he can stop whenever he wants, but the change in him is so positive. Not everyone's ideal solution, but works for him.

Everyone is different and what works for one doesn’t work for another.

I wfh and it absolutely works for me on a practical level because a commute could compromise my health plus I work erratic hours including evenings and weekends so I’m not out ridiculously early or late.

I have converted my spare room into an office, so I shut the door on it when I leave.

But I’ve been there for two years and I’ve never met any of my colleagues other than over teams. So we essentially have only an internet relationship.

I work erratic hours including evenings and weekends so any kind of social life or hobby that takes me out of the house is a no go.

My dp doesn’t live with me and he has his own social life. He would like to wfh but he would absolutely hate it.

Tbh if I was looking for another job I would still want to wfh, but I think the drawbacks are just as valid as not wfh.

We all work to pay the bills, and there are pros and cons to every job.

I hated it, fortunately I was able to retire early

I WFH 100% and like it but I make sure I go out for a walk each day, have my radio on for background noise and have a separate space for work. I also make sure I walk 10k steps a day as it's easy to do very little. On an ideal world I would go into an office space once a week so I might look at those shared spaces.

I hated WFH. Wrecked my physical health and my mental health. I ended up getting a new job and while my home organisation suffers, everything else improved enormously.

Agree with others that you need to get off the sofa to work.

I live on the West coast of the US now, but used to love having Radio 4 burbling in the background for the way it divided the days.

I am with you OP. I need to leave the house. Hybrid is perfect for me.

Office relationships can still be built even if 'it's not like it was before COVID'. And frankly even if there's nobody in the office I desperately want to chat to I still feel a million times better for a change of scenery!!

a lot of places do a mix - two or three days in the office. this would be good for you i think.

our place has 3 days in two from home. there is still a buzz in the office most days, you get to
know your colleagues and those wfh days are a
treat.

i found wfh too isolating.

if you moved to such a role, you would see some
changes - irratic hours would possibly not work well with this arrangement and you will soon find things that annoy you - like the commute. but it
is more of a balance and works for many

I agree with a proper work set-up, otherwise you will be on the sofa all day and your posture will eventually suffer for it. I WFH full time (self employed) and take the dog out for a walk first thing as my 'walk to work' - I did that before we got a dog, too. It does make a difference, I think - it sets me up for the day.

Also, get up every hour or so, if only to walk around or stick your head out the door or window for some fresh air. I don't miss working with other people but then I'm an introvert anyway and always found I couldn't concentrate with others around!