To dislike WFH….

[Renovationat16fun]

I have worked from home since June 2021, for the first year it was hybrid, then 90% from home. Now I work from home full time (Monday- Friday 9-5) every day except once every 2 months. My office is not easy commuting distance.

I thought I would enjoy WFH as I thought I would love the flexibility but I am beginning to absolutely hate it. I work in an extremely demanding job and find I just sit in one place on my sofa all day and barely look up. I feel really, really isolated.
It’s making me want to leave my job, but I am worried about moving jobs again so soon as I have only been in this role for 4 months. It has made me realise that I miss my weekly / twice weekly office visits from my last job and I know now that I hugely underestimated the change.

AIBU? Does anyone else feel the same and does it feel a legitimate reason to leave a job?
I have 1 secondary school aged child and my partner doesn’t WFH so I am largely alone in the house from 8-4. We do regular TEAMS calls but it’s nothing like grabbing a coffee and a chat in the office. I think hybrid - 2 days per week at home - would be perfect for me.

Do you have permanent fixed office of do you use a shared working space.

When we went fully remote in Covid we ultimately hit rid of the fixed office and now use a service where we book space when we are all getting together. It’s great for those of us living more remotely (I’m 3 hours away from London by train plus the bits either end). It means I can arrange working more locally with another remote colleague out my way when we need to without the big commute. It really balances the isolation.

do you have any colleagues near you you could do this with if you otherwise like the work?

I hate wfh as well, and even though I can have two days a week at home I never do.
I work in a university, there are plenty of people in (I'm not teaching). I don't know what line of work you are in? Support services for public sector organisations like universities, NHS trusts etc are usually hybrid so will have an office buzz.
I'd look for something else if I was you. But in all my years at work I've truly never found more than the odd person unbearable. Generally I like people.

WFH permanently is not for eveyone, despite what you will be told here (pepare for a flaming)
Can you discuss this with your manager?

I love wfh but I have such a busy life outside of work (school run daily, walk at lunch, coffee with friends 3 x week, after school running around for 4 children, birthday parties and football matches all weekend) that I never feel isolated. Your family set up is different but maybe a hobby a couple of nights a week and the odd lunch-hour meet up with a friend who WFH / hybrid / part time / is on mat leave would help?

I think a proper set up for work that you can close the door on would also help if possible. A visual signal that you've "fimished" for the day.

But obviously it's not unreasonable to leave a job that's a poor fit for you, for any reason. I agree with PP of giving it til Christmas and making an active decision to job hunt, or to stay.

I've mainly WFH since 2020 and love the flexibility and more time as no commute. I have an office tho, I couldn't work on a sofa
I now go in the office 2x a week and it's pointless, I sit on my own and teams calls all day 🙃

I would absolutely hate to WFH.

I like having a separation between home and work.

I love the flexibility of WFH, and during covid I was able to cook healthy meals, exercise more, my home was spotless and I saved so much money on fuel etc but I would never choose to do it.

I don’t like waking up early, but I love the feeling of getting ready and going into my workplace, seeing everyone and having a sense of importance.

I would definitely have a proper routine in place, make sure you socialise after work and have a habit where you get out of work clothes or something, to have that separation of work and home life.

See if you can work hybrid or work in a cafe or something.

Don’t leave just yet.
Give it until after Xmas at least.

I find it a bit isolating as a single parent and DD is a teen and has autism so isn't up to much talking anyway. I also found I was barely leaving the house as I had no need to other than the Supermarket.
I started taking myself on a 30 mins 'commute' and block out my diary for a hour at lunch to go for another walk which does me the world of good.
And then enrolled in a couple of exercise classes so I saw other adults.

You need to invest in your work set up if your employer won't - a couple of monitors, laptop stand, wrist supports, desk and a good chair.

I am hybrid but I don’t really enjoy WFH much as i’m a people person. But I do as i have some very heavy meeting days and getting a room is difficult but I go in twice a week min, sometimes 3, but I also travel to other offices too. I couldn’t be a full time home worker. Covid has put me off for life.

Get yourself a desk or trust me you’ll end up sorry as it will cause long term problems. I have squeezed a small one into my living room.

I actually did my psychology masters thesis on wfh, specifically in that post Covid time 2021 etc. In a nutshell results showed wellbeing is severely impacted by wfh. We are social animals, it’s not natural to be so isolated all the time and isolation was the main negative impact for most participants. The only people that thrived were, unsurprisingly, women with childcare demands who relished the flexibility. Not sure what this means for you except it is normal to feel this way

I think WFH can be great, but I do think you need to be very disciplined for it to be sustainable.

You definitely need to get off the sofa. Even if you can't afford/fit in a desk somewhere, you need to be at a table with a laptop riser and a reasonably decent chair. I think you also need to consciously make time to move around. So in the office, ypu might go and talk to someone else, make a cup of tea or whatever. Build in those equivalent short breaks of getting up and moving around. On days I wfh I replace the commute time with going for a walk to make sure I'm up and moving before and after work hours!

More broadly though, is it genuinely hard to get in the office, or is it just hard for you because you need to be there for your child(ren)? If the latter, this responsibility should really be better split if possible so you can go to the office more. Your job - and your wellbeing - are important! Or is there any kind of shared working space you cpuld use thats closer to home?

Being unhappy in a job is always a valid reason to leave, but only you can say whether you could get anything better in your area really...

I hate it myself!

WFH is perfect for me, but not for everyone. At the end of the day we spend a lot of time at work and have to be happy. I would try to stick it out a little more but I think most employers would understand if you explained you thrive off a few days in the office.

I will say when wfh I always take time away from where I am working. I sit in the garden or do something nice at lunch. I am also very strict about not just logging on for five mins as my laptop is sitting there.

YANBU. I do wfh 3 days a week but I value the days in the office. I have an older teen and I'm single, so if I wfh full time I'd just spend 90% of the time alone.

WFH is ok occasionally - to be in for the plumbed or a parcel, for example. But my office is much nicer, with AC, big screens, a magic tap for boiling water….

Prior to the pandemic if you had told me I could WFH all the time I would have jumped at the chance. Now like the OP I would hate it.

I go into the office 2-3 times a week, and I have a 3 hour commute per day.

I find it less stressful in the office, being visible and able to interact with my colleagues.

If I were you I’d have a little rota of places I could go and eork for an hour or two each day. Coffee shops, libraries, shared office spaces (highly recommended!) etc that I’d shuttle round to change the scenery. Much less drastic than changing jobs.

If the job is really demanding, it's even more important that you take breaks - for your mental and musculoskeletal health.
What changes can you make that would help you? (Walk to the paper shop, stand up and do some squats, listen to 5 minute snatches of a podcast while hanging out the washing, stick Heart radio on, message with friends or family who also need company). You need some interaction in your life.

i work in customer service so working anywhere else isn’t an option. We have two scheduled breaks a day and our every other minute is clearly monitored, and failure to adhere to those targets can result in performance management.

But that’s still the case for those going into the office.

my employer actually went fully wfh in the pandemic and started hiring people all over the country. Then they moved to highbrid, which meant some have to go into the office twice a week, and those who live too far don’t.
It’s an interesting mix.

I like working from home and have done so for about 14 years now as I'm self employed. I am quite happy to be alone all day but DH often works from home as well which is also nice. Prior to covid he was I'm the office every weekday and that was fine as well.

If it doesn't suit you then that's fine as well, if you think you be happier with an office to go to or hybrid working then definitely look for another job, lots of places do want staff in the office again.

I understand where you’re coming from but I live WFH. I have a small child now and it means I don’t have to commute after the nursery run, can get a load or two of laundry done. Prep dinner at lunch time and then come dinner time everything is almost ready and the evening is relaxing. In the warmer months I go for a walk at lunch or work in the garden with my laptop. I do one day a week in the office and I hate it. Everyone is so chatty it’s impossible to get any work done. I’ve also realised how much time some colleagues spend on smoke breaks. Someone queried why I was leaving 30 mins early but she had easily had 40 mins of smoke breaks that day if not more! However I think in the early days of WFH
during Covid I was doing at least 20 hours a week extra which I have completely cut back now as it was not paid.

YANBU. I honestly wouldn't like a fully remote job. There's a lot to be said for having a team around you, the daily chat, the office environment, the social stimulation.

Commuting sucks; I've dealt with that by finding a job I can bike to. I also do a 1h walk at lunchtime on my WFH days.

I absolutely hate how work has changed since I started work in the mid 80s.

When I started working in offices. All the jobs I did were clearly defined. Hours were pretty much 9 to 5 with an hour for lunch. There was enough time to chat to colleagues and take your lunch hour. People weren't generally stressed out about their jobs. Companies inducted staff properly and actually trained them for their job. I looked forward to work and most people got on with each other.

Over time, hours and workloads have crept up. Three people get sacked and the remaining four have to absorb the work. Management attitude is suck it up. Everyone's job merges into everyone else's because we're all supposed to be team players when in reality one poor sod gets lumbered because they're too nice to speak up. Big open plan offices crept in then hot desking which drove a lot of people to want to work from home. Companies then seized this opportunity to close offices so loads of people are now working from home on their own using their own equipment and electric to get their job done.

I sound like a complete dullard I know.

I have WFH for many years.
I have a garden office with a proper office set up.
It came at a time (senior) when I felt fully able to work independently and that the flexibility and time saved on commuting far outweighed the benefit of being in the office.
There are days when I don't go out much during the working day, but this is probably because I've got something on in the evening. Or I go for a run or walk with a friend during the day.

I have an app which locks my workstation every 55 mins for 5 mins. I can't override it once it starts (though I can stop the whole thing obviously if I've got a meeting), so I get up and get a lot of stuff done around the home. It's amazing what you can do in 5 mins.

I am a lone parent and being present for my 15 yo is great. He'll come home around 4pm this afternoon, pop his head in the garden office and have a little chat. The flexibility also enables me to work with his teen life (ferrying him somewhere at a random time) more easily than if I was in the office.

Remember that if you went into the office, most people would be working from home so it would still be pretty quiet 🤷‍♀️ If you don’t like WFH, your best bet is probably to look for a hybrid role at another organisation.

I don’t think the way you feel is that unusual. Is it worth talking to your LM to see if they have any ideas that might accommodate your needs? But ultimately if you have to move on because you need more face to face engagement, you’re not doing anything wrong in putting your own needs first.