Wedding gift - how much money would you give?

[chiccachicca]

Not really an AIBU, but I wasn’t sure where else to post. It’s more of a WWYD.

We are going to wedding in the next few months, all day and a dinner the night prior, DH has known the Groom since school but they aren’t massively close. We’ve not seen them him in a few years and never met his partner.

The Bride and Groom have asked for money towards a honeymoon. We haven’t been to a wedding for years and I’m not sure what is an average amount of money to gift.

How much would you gift?

£50 pp so £100. Although not had a meal the night beforehand though. Who's paying for that? May be £50 extra if they are

UK: £50 - £100

Ireland: A million dollars.

£40

At least £200

£100-£200 depending on how close, I would never give £50. I wouldn’t gift more or less based on how much the couple decided to spend on the wedding, that’s nuts imo.

Why more if in Ireland? Just wondering as we are going to a wedding in Donegal next year. Or was this a joke 😃

I’m NI, maybe that’s why my answer is higher than the 20 and 30 quid comments!

No close friends or family have us any less than £200/250 so I base my gifting for others on that!

My cousin's daughter recently got married. I'm not particularly close to her, but l am to her mum. I got a new £50 note from the bank and put that in their card.
It might not seem a lot to some people, but for me it's more than a week's food shopping.
And it would have cost me much more to actually go to the wedding, I couldn't have afford that and a present, so l'd rather they had the money towards their honeymoon.

I'm going to agree with most people on here and say £50.

No, it's a gift, surely?
What a very strange approach.

I agree with all of this.

That could get crazy. Our wedding was £100 per head for anyone over 13, my cousin brought his wife and 4 children - twins aged 14 and twins ages 16. So he should have given me a £600 gift?

Every time there's a post on how much to give for weddings, everyone in Ireland goes WTF at the £50/€60 suggestions.

In Ireland €100 pp, is the typical minimum.

So if me DH and 3 kids go then that's 500 euro? On top of the £1500 it's costing us to attend as they picked a hotel which is 300 euro a night?

I'm not saying you should pay anything.
When you are travelling to attend, it's already a high cost.

I'm just highlighting that the average is usually higher in Ireland. This doesn't mean that it's still a wide spectrum.

It never includes children though.

No ones saying you have you, just stating the done thing.
Lots of close family did 500 at my wedding, it’s not as ridiculous as you’re making out. Close being aunts, uncles and siblings.
It’s just a more generous culture financially when it comes to big life events, perhaps because they are rooted in religion.
Gifts for weddings, communions and christenings tend to go big.
Even at funerals extended family slip the priest money never mind the close family!

I agree with you, that's just nonsense. So, if a couple can only afford a modest wedding, they'd get a lesser gift than a rich couple who can afford to splurge! That's not right.

For someone you've not seen for a few years and never met the new wife?

I agree with both @DappledThings 's posts on P2

Very good point. You may as well send your guests an invoice!

"No ones saying you have you, just stating the done thing"

Not in my world, it isn't!

The point is that it is a happy joyful event. You're a guest at a happy occasion, not a customer at a venue. The bride and groom choose to host, on whatever budget. You very kindly give them a gift. What they've spent is irrelevant, as pp have said

This is my view.

In Ireland then, are you?

It's £50 in my circle of friends, keeps it affordable for everyone.