I'm very concerned about viruses and lice at nursery

[greeny369]

As a first time mom, a lot of things freak me out and make me question if that's normal. So my LO has started nursery, still settling in, which is taking longer than expected, but that's another story. Every morning I drop him off I see kids wildly coughing, noses leaking, rashes here and there. I mean.. I've heard from other parents around me how children get sick bi-weekly since start of nursery, but it just keeps bothering me that parents don't seem to care if their child is sick and still bring them to nursery. I empathise with parents who work full time and have no other option, but what about the other children? For me the cherry on the top of the cake was when I saw a piece of paper taped by the entrance gate the other day at our nursery saying they've found lice on one of the kids. Apparently very 'normal' for people working there and seemingly not an issue that needs addressing in any special way. Now I have debilitating fear of insects, obviously that's one of the reasons I'm shocked this is considered the norm. But then again, am I unreasonable thinking that nursery has to address this issue somehow? Be it by implementing extra cleaning routines, or removing the source of this occurance, until they are treated and confirmed to have tackeled the issue? When I asked these questions at the nursery, they just quickly dismiss me saying ' oh, its completely normal, if they don't get lice here they get it in primary or secondary, but essentially they eventually do ' followed by a big awkward smile. Maybe it's just me, but I'm considering changing nurseries. I'd love to hear another perspective on this.

I absolutely agree they shouldn't be giving calpol and sending the child in without saying anything, especially if the nursery has permission to give calpol without calling. That's incredibly stupid of the parents.

Sometimes it might be fine to give calpol eg if teething, or if they had a vaccine the day before - basically anything mild and non-contagious. Obviously they should let the nursery know though.

In the nicest possible way you need to relax a bit otherwise nursery/school, etc is going to be an absolute nightmare for you. I’d probably get some therapy for your fear of insects too, toddlers love picking spiders up and bringing them to show you 🙈

My sons both go to nursery, if I didn’t send them every time they had a sniffle then they would never be there especially my youngest who gets a runny nose and rash around his mouth everytime he gets a new tooth and has bad hayfever so spends much of spring/summer with a runny nose and cough despite piriton…he literally would never be there if I kept him off for this. I wouldn’t send him if he had a high temperature or D&V or a rash that is different to his usual teething rash.

As for lice, it’s unlikely you will find a different nursery where they’re completely ‘lice free’. A lot of the kids will have older siblings who will have picked it up at nursery and passed it along. The nursery have down something about it, they’ve put a sign up informing parents to keep our eye out to keep on top of it, they are not going to exclude a child for this…same as a primary school will not exclude a child for this.

Yeah, unfortunately it’s pretty normal. It freaked me out too when my son (now 9) started nursery when he was 1. I felt the same but having had two go through nursery and now school it’s kind of how it goes.

If I was able to, I would keep mine off nursery if I thought there was something going around.

I’m a little longer in the tooth and chilled about it now.

My daughter started school in September. She was off school last week with hand, foot and mouth, tonsillitis and according to the Dr ‘a third, run of the mill virus’. Both the school and Dr told me there was no policy in terms of her returning to school with h,f and m but I kept her off because she was quite poorly and I am self employed so I’m fortunate that I can be flexible and do my bit to reduce the spread.

Wait until you have to deal with threadworms, that’s a whole other ick 🤢

Now I have debilitating fear of insects, obviously that's one of the reasons I'm shocked this is considered the norm.

How debilitating because there is a chance you’re going to have to deal with them

But then again, am I unreasonable thinking that nursery has to address this issue somehow?

They are by handing everyone a note to say they have been found. Now it’s the parent’s responsibility to check their child’s hair and treat if needed.

Be it by implementing extra cleaning routines, or removing the source of this occurance, until they are treated and confirmed to have tackeled the issue?

Extra cleaning? It’s not a virus that can be antibacterial wiped away. As long as everyone regularly checks their child’s hair and treats if they have them that is all that can be done really. They can’t banish a child for a week or two until all headlice treatments have been done.

Lice are are part of nursery and school life. Get some clear spray leave in conditioner and nit comb. Go through once a week.
As for coughs and colds that's just qprt of normal life too

Thank you all for the replies! I feel reassured after reading most of what you've said and I appreciate all the kind words. I think it's just the mama bear in me honestly..

I dont have anxiety disorder or mental health issues, thank for! It's a bit peculiar of people to assume that, by me just being a bit inexperienced in some parenting areas and having certain concerns.
I have fear of insects, since I've known myself, it isn't normal perhaps for most people, but I'm sure every person has some fear. I try my best to overcome this, and have up to a certain extent, but I still don't find the idea of bugs crawling on our heads appealing. I'm sure no one does, for me it's just a bit extra extra. If it comes to this, I will deal with it, regardless of how I feel.

I had never thought about homeschooling, as I want DS to have a normal social experiences. The comment about 'my fears limiting my child' is absolutely groundless. I just wanted to hear if that's the way it is and it does seem so.
Changing nurseries idea stems from the fact that there are other options, generally speaking, private nurseries etc. But from what I understand the situation is the same everywhere.

As to being in contact with germs, yes I agree, thinking reasonably, that is indeed how children build their immune systems. I'm not afraid of germs, I do encourage my son to get dirty outside. We jump in puddles when it's raining, he jumps on piles of leaver in the autumn and does snow angels. We've got lots of plants at home and he helps when repotting for example, needless to say it turns into a muddy game in the end but it's part of childhood.

I'm not, in no way, saying my child is more special than others, as someone suggested. It's just that I personally would keep him home if he was ill. I understand that's not an option for a lot of people and I acknowledge that, yeah, coughs and runny noses can persist long after infections or viruses have cleared up.

Perhaps I am being unreasonable.
I grew up in Europe. When I was a child, lice was a pretty rare occurance, in my parent's childhood it's been much more common for example. Nowadays I honestly have no idea, I've been living in the UK for many years and abroad before that for some time. I haven't thought of looking that up, until it slapped me in the face the other day.
Where I'm from nurseries are very different to UK nurseries in many aspects. There's no meaning in comparing. We live where we live and we will adjust to the current conditions, one way or another.

Sometimes our expectations of how things should be, does not match reality. In the end it is what it is. It's never too late to learn something new, and I've learned a lot today.
Seems that I do need to toughen up.

Thanks for the heads up on threadworms.. I have heard of this but also wasn't aware it's that common. Note taken on probiotics, Ovex, nit comb& gin! Will make sure to keep these readily available at home. Better safe than sorry.

I understand how some people might have found my post offensive. Most of us have lives outside of children- work, school, maybe both and more on top, I know I do, so we can't keep our children at home on a whim. Surely at the same time all parents want their children to be healthy and well. I didn't mean to undermine anyone. I apologise if I have.

Again thanks to everyone, for taking the time to reply xx

You need to say “headlice” not just “lice”.

Body lice are a completely different thing and a much more serious issue/indicator of neglect.

Hi OP thanks for updating.

I hope you're feeling okay about things now.

I grew up in Europe. When I was a child, lice was a pretty rare occurrence

In a lot of countries headlice aren’t as common as in the U.K. because it’s just too damned cold in winter for them to survive. The eggs can survive freezing temperatures but the the lice themselves can die in very low temperatures.

That can be a disruptive factor on the cycle of nits which means countries with very cold weather and a culture of playing outside have less trouble with headlice than those with a milder climate.

A nanny would avoid a lot of this. Is that an option? Far less likely to be around other poorly kids as the nanny can just reschedule play dates.

It gets easier & actually when it's your own DC you sort of put your fears to one side as your desire to help them over rides the fear/repulsion.
If DC does get nits you will be so concerned with helping him & getting rid of the itching you won't even think about them being insects.

I used to be really fearful of vomiting but when it's my own DC I just want to help them when they feel so poorly.

You grow a thicker skin as they get older & then don't bat an eye lid at these things. You'll prob look back and laugh at how unnecessary some of the anxiety was.

The year my kids both went to nursery after COVID/maternity leave, there wasn't a week from September to August (when we were on holiday) that someone didn't have a cough and/or runny nose. I couldn't possibly keep my kids at home for every minor cold. They have to build up their immune system and they are little germ monsters.

In my experience nursery, although there are outbreaks, isn't the worst for nits. It's absolutely rife in most primary classes though - maybe easing off around p6 (year 5). This is something I'm afraid you'll need to get used to it as the most effective way to get rid is to comb them out! 😬

Tea tree shampoo will make the hair smell nice and fresh but nothing beats plenty of conditioner and a fine tooth comb once a week.
Oh and getting the viruses while very young is a great boost for the immune system - some of the childhood viruses can be nasty in adults.

Oh, right! All this time I meant headlice.

You've got more chance of finding a nursery where the children are all doing university level astrophysics than you have of finding one germ and nit free.

I am not in a position to afford a full time nanny. With that being said, even if I were I'd still prefer a nursery setting for LO. I think it's essential for children helping with socialisation, communication, making friends etc.

😅

Yes! Thanks a bunch x

Hi OP.

You say you didn’t grow up in the UK so I’m telling you this in case you inadvertently offend someone in real life - “Thanks a bunch” doesn’t mean “Thanks a lot” or “Thanks SO much!” in British English. It’s the opposite- a sarcastic phrase meaning “well thanks for nothing” or “thanks for dropping me in it” eg “I know you love volunteering so I’ve put you down on the rota to clean up dog poo in the park” “Thanks a bunch!”

or “I need to go, sorry to leave you with all the clearing up!” “Thanks a bunch!”

So you basically just told everyone who commented on this thread that you were not at all grateful for their advice and in fact annoyed at them for giving you all the information about head lice. Unless that is what you mean to convey? 😀

here’s a video explainer

Oh, just wow. . I had no idea! Always thought that meant 'thanks a lot'.. I've always made this analogy with 'a bunch of flowers' and 'bunch of thanks', if that makes sense. Didn't mean to be ironical at all.
Now you made me question all the times this was said to me 😅

But also, I think the context matters when saying things that can have positive and negative connotations. It doesn't make sense to me being rude to someone who's directly or indirectly helping me ease my mind, referring to this thread.
I also understand where you're coming from. I speak 3 languages, 2 fluently and the third being english, I know in every language there are certain phrases with double meanings.

Re context, take it from me, “thanks a bunch” is never said non-ironically by a native British person.

Use “thanks a million” instead, that does the job.

OP I admire your response! You've taken the occasionally a little too harsh responses very graciously!

Can I ask, are you a SAHM sending your child to a nursery setting, or working? If you don't work it's much easier to say "I'll keep my child off if they're under the weather" because you're not having to call into work AGAIN.

Re headlice, get yourself a nitty gritty comb and cheap conditioner and you're ready to go.

Snotty noses are pretty typical of this age, and like a previous poster my DS has always had colds on his chest, coughing horribly for weeks afterwards even though he's fine.

Some children are also a little more resilient, I don't think either of mine had much time off throughout nursery/primary for bugs and viruses. We had a lot of headlice though as there was a child in my son's class who came from a more chaotic household and it was very clear she wasn't being treated 😔 as a result they were rife in class, but we just worked a quick lice check into our bathtime routines and honestly it was fine. Almost satisfying in a gross way!

@greeny369 The Goblin Tools website - judge is great for working out the meaning of things that you might not be familiar with.

If you input "Thanks a bunch" it spits out:

The phrase "Thanks a bunch" typically conveys a sense of gratitude, but its emotional tone can vary based on context and delivery. Generally, it expresses appreciation in a casual, friendly manner. The use of the phrase "a bunch" suggests a warmth or playfulness, indicating that the speaker feels thankful in a lighthearted way.

However, the phrase can also carry an undertone of sarcasm, depending on the context in which it is used. For example, if it follows an unfavorable situation or a minor inconvenience, it might imply a sense of frustration masked by an outward show of thanks. In such cases, the emotional rendering shifts from genuine gratitude to a more ambiguous or even negative sentiment.

Overall, without additional context, "Thanks a bunch" primarily suggests a positive, informal expression of appreciation, with the potential for deeper emotional layers if other elements of communication, such as tone of voice or situational background, were provided.

However, I would say if it can be said sarcastically the chances are a native English english speaker will generally mean it that way. We're a passive aggressive bunch.