I'm very concerned about viruses and lice at nursery

[greeny369]

As a first time mom, a lot of things freak me out and make me question if that's normal. So my LO has started nursery, still settling in, which is taking longer than expected, but that's another story. Every morning I drop him off I see kids wildly coughing, noses leaking, rashes here and there. I mean.. I've heard from other parents around me how children get sick bi-weekly since start of nursery, but it just keeps bothering me that parents don't seem to care if their child is sick and still bring them to nursery. I empathise with parents who work full time and have no other option, but what about the other children? For me the cherry on the top of the cake was when I saw a piece of paper taped by the entrance gate the other day at our nursery saying they've found lice on one of the kids. Apparently very 'normal' for people working there and seemingly not an issue that needs addressing in any special way. Now I have debilitating fear of insects, obviously that's one of the reasons I'm shocked this is considered the norm. But then again, am I unreasonable thinking that nursery has to address this issue somehow? Be it by implementing extra cleaning routines, or removing the source of this occurance, until they are treated and confirmed to have tackeled the issue? When I asked these questions at the nursery, they just quickly dismiss me saying ' oh, its completely normal, if they don't get lice here they get it in primary or secondary, but essentially they eventually do ' followed by a big awkward smile. Maybe it's just me, but I'm considering changing nurseries. I'd love to hear another perspective on this.

In the kindest way, you need to get over this.

Yes nurseries are full of germs, viruses, bacteria it’s what builds up our immune systems. I’m saying this as someone who is immune compromised and getting sicker than anyone else in my house when these germs come home. But it’s life.

You and everyone else will be exposed to all sorts and chances are you will get sick a lot especially in the early days. Your only option is keep DCs home, but then they will still be exposed at school. So unless you completely home school, in which case your children won’t have the opportunity to build up a decent immune system, you just have to deal with it.

Nits are also par of the course. If it helps my oldest dd who always had extremely long hair that was never tied tightly back never got knits until she was in year 6. My other DDs though.. my youngest had them for six months when she was a toddler, they kept laying eggs under her cradle cap, she didn’t get them in nursery but off her older sister who was in primary school.

You can change nurseries but that won’t change anything. There was a post a few days ago about a child coming home from a private boarding school riddled with lice, you can not avoid them even in rich boarding schools, just be prepared to treat them and please please please never make your child feel like it’s their fault they have them.

There's no way to avoid these things! I treat my child's hair with a lice repellent leave in spray every morning, but we've still had to treat her for lice. The illnesses and viruses are impossible to avoid unfortunately. Considering a large number of illnesses are at their most contagious before any symptoms show up, you will do well to find any childcare setting where your child won't contract these. We have a booklet with a list of potential illnesses and how to deal with them, and how long the child must stay off for - if at all.

You've had lots of responses about the (presumably) headlice aready. My DC avoided them at nursery but they are pretty ubiquitous in years R-2 of primary school.

I mean.. I've heard from other parents around me how children get sick bi-weekly since start of nursery, but it just keeps bothering me that parents don't seem to care if their child is sick and still bring them to nursery. I empathise with parents who work full time and have no other option, but what about the other children?

Absolutely DC shouldn't be in nursery when they have a temperature/feel really rubbish/have D&V etc. If you never took a toddler anywhere when they were just a bit snotty though you'd never leave the house. Ditto coughs, some kids will cough for a couple of weeks after a cold.

Some (not all) rashes on children aren't contagious once the rash is fully out and they can take a while to fade. See point above. Nurseries normally have pretty strict policies around rashes.

If you keep a child off nursery when they are a bit snotty/coughy but well in themselves it's very detrimental to settling in at nursery because they decide they'd rather be at home with Mummy/Daddy/whoever.

@Itsmahoneybaloney out of interest, which probiotic do you use? I've heard mixed things about their usefulness, but would be curious what brand you use. Thanks

They work trust me but you have to be consistent and take them everyday (or at least your kids) these ones are what we use for the kids (they also do an adult version) they have 12.5 billion cultures which is very high on kids ones - they're also chewable and on 3for 2 offer quite often. I recommend them to everyone.

https://www.boots.com/boots-good-gut-3and-kids-live-friendly-bacteria-and-immunity-support-30-chewable-tablets-10338168

For babies 1 year plus we used the Holland and barrett colourless and flavourless powder and mixed it into porridge or on toast.

What 'extra cleaning routines' do you think would remove headlice? They're not hanging out amongst the ballpit balls or the pots and pans of the play kitchen. They would be lurking on heads, and the nursery only knows about them if parents notice and mention it. Most parents, on noticing, would treat their children for it. That's basically all you can do.

If an illness involves D&V, nurseries usually insist kids are kept home for 48 hours. Equally if a child is fully sick with a fever, or it's some sort of formal notifiable disease, kids would be sent home. But coughs and colds and general viral lurgy - people still go about their day to day lives and your child will probably be exposed to it unless you keep them away from institutions like nurseries, schools, clubs and tbh even public spaces like soft plays and shops and buses!

All you can really do is insist on good hand washing practices, not touching their mouth and nose all the time, eat a healthy diet and take recommended supplements like vitamin d.

It's completely normal, children are grim little snotty virus and nit vectors.

If they don't get these illnesses now they'll get them at school. There was a noticeable difference in attendance in my son's Reception year between the kids who'd been at nursery full time vs those who only did part-time pre-school the year before.

Kids catch viruses, lice and worms all the time. This isn't anything to do with the nursery or any other childcare setting. It's simply because children - including your own - are basically a magnet for disease and parasites. You need to accept this. Your child's nursery can do absolutely fuck-all to prevent head lice, unfortunately.

Indeed my kids never had nits ,but they did have thread worms 🤮
I would have preferred nits.

Also OP, places that can be better ventilated with fresh air help reduce illness. As do HEPA filters (they're cheap to run). Could be worth speaking to nursery about putting a HEPA filter in, or donating one, or class fundraising.

All part of childhood and parenthood

OP, I think the issue may lie with you, rather than with your nursery. Can you look into getting some help with your fear of viruses/insects? It may also be that your fear of your LO catching these things is mostly built on fear of the unknown and that a couple of rounds of viruses of unknown origin and a go of head lice and you will find that these are not nearly as dreadful as you imagine.

OTOH, my kids (five of them) only got lice once, collectively, during all the school years). That was fun. But they never got them before or since, so we got it all out of the way in one go.

Remember before covid when people went to work with coughs and colds and no one thought anything of it?

People get sick, kids get sick. Not all sickness is a reason to isolate. We've just had a bout of hand foot and mouth. Now THAT was shit. And yes i kept her home for 9 days!!

The OP hasn’t returned poor woman probably came on looking for a solution to just nits and colds and now we’ve introduced her to worms!

@Itsmahoneybaloney thanks! 😊

You will never avoid viruses and lice if your child is mixing with other children, nursery setting or not.

Young children have runny noses generally constantly between the months of October and February in my experience, it's unrealistic to expect them to be kept off when not otherwise unwell. I've had 2 kids through nursery and they've never caught worse than a cold. There was hand foot and mouth recently and my youngest avoided it! We've had an almost monthly letter home from the primary school saying there have been headlice detected in my child's class and to treat accordingly if any live lice found.

I give them decent multivitamins and keep off when vomiting and for 48 hours after, but other than that mine have gone to daycare and have a decent immune system now.

My daughter works in a nursery. They sometimes have children dropped off who have been given calpol and the parents haven't said anything - just dropped them and hoped for the best as they head off to work. Then nursery have to deal with an unwell child, often screaming the place down. And if they are sick, it's all pink so they know they were given calpol. And then that's a safeguarding issue because if they gave the child calpol (they are allowed), it could mean an overdose....basically parents often bring unwell children in. You might be better off with a childminder tbh.

Mum of 2 here. My ds spent most of last winter with a runny nose. He was absolutely well in himself but if I kept him at home he wouldn't have gone to nursery for months. This year he has been better because his immune system has matured.
My dd is at school and has only ever had nits from school. It's a part of being a parent I'm afraid. They will get ill and they will probably get nits, its something that every Parent has to deal with.

It's important that children get exposed to minor colds and viruses in order to build up their immune system. The same goes for a bit of dirt and dust.

My kids have avoided lice but they’ve had plenty of viruses: even impetigo! We’ve had threadworms many times as well which is horrible, I had them while pregnant and you can’t really treat them in the same way. Not a fun time.

Oh dear. You're going to have to unclench or you'll end up a gibbering wreck before the school stuff is done.

Kids are cesspits. They need to go through it to build up their immune systems. You could always get into the habit of checking for lice before they take hold and worm regularly. Other than that, it's just one of those things.

And molluscum

You are going to have to toughen up and start living in the real world @greeny369.
It’s nothing to do with the nursery. Every single nursery and school is the same. It’s what comes with having kids.

My DC didn't have constant illness and lice in nursery but we chose a fully outdoor setting.

Plenty of viruses and lice once they started school!

Nursery had lice recently and I pulled my daughter out for 3 days because we were about to go on holiday.
They always do extra deep cleanings when anything like this happens and work hard to prevent hat sharing etc.
But its a nursery, the kids get up close and personal, they're always going to catch things off each other, even when they're not showing symptoms yet.
It's very difficult to control.
The first winter I found the hardest, but it gets easier as their immune systems build up. There is always like a solid month in the winter where your kid will have a constant runny nose or cough though and no one can take a month off work because their kid has a cold.