AIBU for wanting to take my child to a&e

[MumofHennHals]

Trigger warning: mention of brain tumour, sickness & headaches.

My little girl is 5 years old she has never complained of her head, or her eyes and she was only sick as a baby. We took her for an eye test 3 weeks ago as she has started school and she’s never had an eye test, so thought I’d just take her ( she’s not complained once of her sight )

Anyway, that appointment was all fine & they dilated the eyes to see the back.

I suffer with health anxiety ( I’m under the GP for currently ) so I was fixated they’d find a brain tumour when dilating her eyes- even though she had no symptoms of this what so ever.

Anyway nothing came of that appointment, she was all ok eye wise and we were sent on our way.

Fast forward to yesterday / today - she woke up with a very snotty nose yesterday, constantly sniffing but was full of energy, fine in herself it’s half term so she was having a day out / sleepover at her grandparents.

She went out swimming, then for lunch and then back to my parents house to paint pumpkins.

My mum said she went to bed okay, but after 3 hours she started moving around lots in her sleep and then my mum heard ‘nanny’ - she found my little girl in bed covered in sick, my mum said she asked if she felt okay and she said ‘My head hurts, my nose hurts and my tummy is bubbling’

I want to rush her to a&e because I heard sickness and headaches in the night is scary.

She’s ok now, still snotty but eating fine - she’s tired as she didn’t sleep great afterwards.

My mum said I am being unreasonable as she had desert when she was out for lunch and then desert again at dinner, she thinks she just was over full and that shes just got a cold besides it.

But now I’m going ‘headache’ ‘sickness’ and I’m back on the brain tumour worry!! 😩

You're being absolutely ridiculous. She's a child with a bug, they all get them. Please don't put your health anxiety issues onto your child, its unfair.

Yes, with the greatest kindness, I think you're being unreasonable and it's the anxiety talking.

If her sinuses etc are full of mucus she's bound that be be a bit headachy and she probably has a bit of a bug.

Keep and eye on her by all means but there is nothing there at all that would make me think to book a GP appointment nevermind go to A&E.

My sinuses are hell this week and it gives me a terrible headache and eye ache.

Please focus on your own health situation with your anxiety and getting as much help as you can. It’s autumn, she’s recently started school, the usual germs are flying around, and she ate too much pudding. She’s absolutely fine. Ask your mum not to overfeed her.

Do you have any idea how many bugs will be around in a&e? It’s literally full of sick people.

Of course you're being unreasonable.

Taking her to A&E won't get you what you want anyway. She has no symptoms of a brain tumor so they won't test for it.

Get some therapy for your health anxiety.

You need to calm down before you project your anxiety onto her.

You must be very careful here ... you don't want health professionals to label you as 'that parent' who catastrophises every sneeze and cough. And don't make it all about you and your worries. Just accept that children are unwell from time to time.

YABU.
A snotty nose and a headache are not symptoms of a brain tumour.

She has a bog standard bug. She will get many of these. What you have described will give no one an indication that she has a brain tumour. What are you thinking may happen when you get to A&E? With the history and symptoms you describe they’d just have a smile on their face while inwardly eye rolling and send you home with a vomit bag.

It’s coming to that time of year where kids are germ bags. Especially if they’re in childcare/school.

Yes yabu. Your child has a tummy bug... if your child was poorly for weeks on end with this sort of thing you see your gp who then organises tests to rule out other conditions. A and e is for accident (this is not that) and emergency (this is not that either) - the only thing taking your child to a and e will do is pass a sickness bug to people who genuinely need to be there as well as the poor doctors and nurses.

Please don’t take her to A&E. my husband was seriously ill last week and had to wait just shy of 50 hours for a bed. A&E was full of people who really didn’t need to be there and it made the wait to be assessed almost unbearable.

Call 111, your surgery or take her to a walk in if you’re worried.

Alternatively, bed, fluids and dry toast in a day or two. It’s winter virus season and that’s the most likely cause.

First child OP?
Very gently, yes YABU. Hope your little one recovers quickly.

She's got a bog standard bug, she's at school get used to it. There's never any point in planning anything in October half term as they always get sick.
Calpol for the headache, plain food and flat lemonade for the stomach and maybe ginger biscuits to nibble on for the nausea.

OP have you ever had a headache or sickness? If yes have you got a brain tumour?

With the greatest respect, I think that your child is more likely to gave a cold rather than a brain tumour.
Keep her warm, well hydrated, and observe.
If your area is anything like ours, it will be a long wait in A&E and getting a GP appointment within six weeks is almost impossible.

What caused you to think of brain tumours? Why have you got that in your head? Have you been watching tv and there was a kid on there that had one? Or is your anxiety about multiple scenarios affecting different parts of the body?

I don't know how effective the treatment you are receiving from your gp for your anxiety is. Maybe you need to do more homework if they give you it or try a different therapist or something.

If anything I'd have thought the opposite after a medical visit for a check up, ie "great she's not got anything wrong I can relax". I wouldn't have linked the vomiting with a brain tumour at all.

You want to get that anxiety under control soon because doctors will think you are crying wolf.

Thats good your mum is so sensible. I'd follow her advice on day to day medical matters.

Not only are you being unreasonable AND ridiculous, you’re also projecting your health anxiety onto your child and heading into the dangerous territory of munchausens by proxy.
Is this your first experience of humans and viruses?
Did you recently land here from mars?
Come on OP, you know how insane this is. Your child has a virus. One of thousands of different ones-and she’ll have many, many more over the course of her childhood.
Taking her to A&E is not only unreasonable, it’s also selfish and irresponsible. You’d be spreading the virus around a place full of genuinely very unwell people, people with serious health conditions who could be at risk of incredibly serious illness catching a regular virus.
Fluids and rest is all she needs, and if she can keep it down, Calpol as well. She’ll be right as rain in less than 48 hours most likely, kids bounce back astonishingly quick

I had a particularly bad migraine last year. Got sent to a&e by ooh due to it not shifting, like by this point I’d had it 4-5 days. Even at that point, a brain tumour didn’t even spring to mind.

I’ve had severe health anxiety on and off OP so I understand that our kind very easily runs away with us. I’ve had to work very hard and listened to a number of books and resources to make sure it doesn’t leak out onto my little one and loved ones. (There’s a lady on youtube who’s vídeos really helped me bridge some gaps when I was at rock bottom, I’ll see if I can find her again).

For now let’s just take a step back. It was one event. She was already snotty then went swimming, my little one always declines after swimming if she’s not 100%, maybe the combination of change of temp and swimming exersion. Her body is doing what it’s supposed to and saying settle down and have a rest. She ate loads so again body sowing what it’s supposed to and expelling it. All in one go she might just need a bit more hydration and rest. One event is not indicative of a tumour and deep down you know that.

Breathe, give her space and time to heal and focus on your mental health.
I do feel for you and understand and having been in your shoes my focus became not passing this incredibly destructive habit of thinking to my little one x

Sorry OP, YABU. Yes, it’s scary when our children get sick (and my DS was a very poorly baby and rushed into hospital so I do understand that anxiety that every illness could be more than it seems). But you need to recognise that it’s anxiety and, actually, kids get bugs and sickness and all sorts and it’s normal and absolutely doesn’t warrant rushing them to A&E.

You’re very lucky your DD hasn’t really been ill much in the past and so you haven’t had to deal with this. At age 5 I’m guessing just started school? And it’s coming to winter? She’s being exposed to lots of other kids when she possibly hasn’t been previously, so will pick up and bring home all manner or bugs and viruses and she will be just fine. It’s completely normal. Stock up on Calpol, children’s ibuprofen, cough medicine and a thermometer. Yes, it’s awful when they are sick, but you need to keep it together for her and not project your anxiety.

If you are really concerned - as in she gets worse not better after a prolonged period - call 111 and they will be able to advise most appropriate action. I’ve done that a couple of times with DS when his temp wouldn’t come down and it was middle of the night and one occasion they had us take him in and he was given antibiotics in A&E and sent home after a night of observation, others they’ve managed to get us an appointment with GP for the next day.

Your DD will be fine, listen to your mum and take a step back and take a minute to try and rationalise the situation.

It doesn’t sound like anything more than a standard childhood bug. I have one kid snotty and coughing, the other woke with a headache last night so I’m guessing the cold is about to get her too. I think you need to see the GP for yourself. DD doesn’t need A&E and not only would you time wasting, you run the risk of catching something far worse there- when DS broke his arm he caught a horrendous stomach bug so IMO A&E really is best avoided unless you’re seriously ill or injured and there’s no other option.

Swimming when she has a cold probably wasn’t the best idea either. Sounds like she’s had a cold and swimming can often cause a little stomach bug. They’ve both came at the same time but will pass soon enough.

@MumofHennHals this is the lady I found on youtube whose videos helped me when I was on waiting list for help from GP about health anxiety.

https://youtube.com/@cherellethinks?feature=shared

Your little one got an all clear eye exam, hurrah! She then had an active day whilst being run down. Her body is working exactly as it should by giving signals she needs a rest and to recover. x

All kids are different, but that doesn't sound like the type of headache and sickness my DS got when he developed a brain tumour. Typically it's when they are flat (ie. sleeping) that pressure builds in the head, which is what causes an unbelievable headache. After a few hours of sitting up, the headache went away. The vomiting as soon as he sat up (after being asleep) was clear (like saliva) and effortless (unlike when you have a bad tummy).

I think it sounds like your poor DD has a bug. If she gets worse or doesn't improve within the next couple of days, call the GP.