AIBU for wanting to take my child to a&e

[MumofHennHals]

Trigger warning: mention of brain tumour, sickness & headaches.

My little girl is 5 years old she has never complained of her head, or her eyes and she was only sick as a baby. We took her for an eye test 3 weeks ago as she has started school and she’s never had an eye test, so thought I’d just take her ( she’s not complained once of her sight )

Anyway, that appointment was all fine & they dilated the eyes to see the back.

I suffer with health anxiety ( I’m under the GP for currently ) so I was fixated they’d find a brain tumour when dilating her eyes- even though she had no symptoms of this what so ever.

Anyway nothing came of that appointment, she was all ok eye wise and we were sent on our way.

Fast forward to yesterday / today - she woke up with a very snotty nose yesterday, constantly sniffing but was full of energy, fine in herself it’s half term so she was having a day out / sleepover at her grandparents.

She went out swimming, then for lunch and then back to my parents house to paint pumpkins.

My mum said she went to bed okay, but after 3 hours she started moving around lots in her sleep and then my mum heard ‘nanny’ - she found my little girl in bed covered in sick, my mum said she asked if she felt okay and she said ‘My head hurts, my nose hurts and my tummy is bubbling’

I want to rush her to a&e because I heard sickness and headaches in the night is scary.

She’s ok now, still snotty but eating fine - she’s tired as she didn’t sleep great afterwards.

My mum said I am being unreasonable as she had desert when she was out for lunch and then desert again at dinner, she thinks she just was over full and that shes just got a cold besides it.

But now I’m going ‘headache’ ‘sickness’ and I’m back on the brain tumour worry!! 😩

I’m glad you’re getting support for your own anxieties. Maybe worth making an extra appointment with them for you if you think talking things through may help.

as others have said you do need to be careful that she doesn’t pick up on your anxieties. Going to A and E for what is most likely a cold risks making her panic every time she sneezes too

Very gently YABU. The last thing a&e needs is a sickness bug spreading around like wildfire.

MeMyCatsAndI · Today 10:20

Very gently YABU. The last thing a&e needs is a sickness bug spreading around like wildfire”

And this. I was perfectly well whilst I waited with my husband. I picked up a bug within 2 days.

You must deal with your health anxiety before it causes your child harm.

If you take your child to A&E for normal childhood illnesses repeatedly because of not dealing with your anxiety then it will quite rightly be assessed as a safeguarding issue - because it is.

If you are finding it hard to assess when your child is ill and what sort of help they need you will need to ask people who you trust to help you, and you need to then listen to them - it seems your mother can help you here.

Otherwise you will put your child at increased risk by taking them somewhere where they will feel more unwell rather than being warm and cared for in their own bed. They may undergo painful and scary tests for your reassurance that will cause them harm.

Vomiting with a bug is normal. As is their head hurting when unwell with a cold, temperature or vomiting bug.
Its also normal for her to be tired, but not completely out of it.
I understand health anxiety is very hard to deal with, but remember that it's extremely normal for children to get ill regularly throughout winter, especially once they are in school.
Remember to give calpol or Ibuprofen when she isn't well and assess how she is once that's had time to work, often they will then bounce back to feeling reasonably OK.

YABU. This is neither an accident nor an emergency. This is a childhood bug.

How's her ears ? My dd often would get snotty nose /headach/being sick and half the time it was an ear infection . Even though she didn't mention earache.
Kids get sick lots when young.

I'm not to sure why you mention the eye tests. It was all fine . You don't need to worry about it. One of my dd had the same test and had to go straight to the main hospital eye department for an mri . Thankfully it all turned out fine. But the point is those tests at the opticians do pick stuff up . And your dds was normal

I mean this kindly as I understand health anxiety can be really crippling however, your daughter clearly has a cold type bug, this can also make them vomit at night as they are laying down. I'm sure she is okay, there's a lot going round.

Agreeing with others
but well done for recognising your anxiety and reaching out on here
being gentle please take some of the advice on here

As someone who was diagnosed with a brain tumour after becoming critically ill, I expected to read your post and tell you to listen to your gut and get your child seen, pushing for an MRI due to the symptoms I expected you to say. From your post there aren't any red flags for a brain tumour. Headaches and vomiting are very common in children.

You've acknowledged you have health anxiety and now your child is 5, they are going to pick things up so this will be difficult for you. It sounds like what your daughter has is a run of the mill bug and isn't anything for you to worry about as long as she is getting fluids down her and passing urine.

I hope that in time you manage to get control of your health anxiety

I hope that in time you manage to get control of your health anxiety

And so so does everyone at A&E (speaking from decades of experience)🤣.

We had to call 999 and request an ambulance in the end, my child went blue and limp. She's had steroids to open up her airways. She's been told it's croup. Was the scariest time of my life but she's back and she's eating treats and chatting our ears off, she's a completely different kid. Something a parent shouldn't witness!!

I'm there for going to ignore my health anxiety assuming croup can cause headaches / cold symptoms.

I'll ask the paediatrician when he comes back round, will probably be hours mind!!

What I'll take from this is that I clearly know when my child is poorly, but my judgement of illness is off due to my health anxiety.

However, I never knew something like croup can change one our to the next, she barely had a cough until bedtime, just cold symptoms!

Croup is caused by cold viruses, so definitely expect cold symptoms with it, and headaches are not unusual with a stonking cold.

Yesterday morning, the responses were correct - your daughter didn't need a trip to A&E then because she was slightly unwell like half the children in primary schools in the week before half term. I spent 4 hours in A&E with ds2, 14, and chest pain (with significant cardiac history) on Friday night and, as you know now, you don't want to be there for a slight virus. Like you say, health anxiety was affecting your judgement. However, tonight, your mum instincts were spot on. Things changed quickly and you got the help your daughter needed so well done for that. Croup can change rapidly, as can lots of other illnesses and conditions. It's a tough gig trying to decide if a child needs seeing or not. I still find it hard 16 years later!

Croup has a distinct barking cough, sounds like a seal. If she had it once she may have it again. If so, run your shower on as hot it goes , close the bathroom doors and sit in the room with her and breathe the steam,with her. If that doesn't work go to hospital. ( mum who had a child with croup here) If it recurs they can give you medication to take home as well to have on hand, Hope your LO is better now