Tell me if I am!

[Peclet]

Last night around 9pm the front door opens and a soft voice calls “hi”. It was my partners SIL calling around with a birthday card for DS. I initially get a fright and then DH gets up and says hello. Both kids come down from their beds to ask who is here. SIL stays for about 5 mins. kids are 11, 14.

I said to my partner I think it’s too late to pop in. And I would have preferred a text before to say. Just swinging by with a card. A little heads up. He disagrees and says family doesn’t need to.

i think after 7pm it’s too late to just open the door and come in.

Definitely too late to just pop in! You could've been in bed by then (I often am!)

Lock your door?

No one can just walk into my house. Front door is a Yale lock so a key needed to get in.

Yes too late to pop in with kids, she should have put it through the postbox and text you

I can see why it’s not ideal but I wouldn’t be concerned about it. I doesn’t sound like it going to become a regular thing.

The bigger picture is that you have family that remember DS’s birthday and that’s important.

Why does no one on MN LOCK THEIR DOOR?!

You leave it unlocked, you're basically inviting people in

She probably had stuff on and didn’t want to not call in on the actual birthday day though! I totally get it! And yes family is different (for me anyway!)

Why is your door unlocked

Why was the door not locked??

Lock the damn door. It's just as well that it was his SIL.

Jesus! Lock the flipping door 🙄

If she could just walk in then any opportunist thief could walk in and take something you wouldn't notice straight away. Like car keys.

She's done you a favour

It’s not late really and it’s not like you have little kids.

9 is borderline for me / just pop in to drop off at 9 with immediate family / close friends seems ok
Half past would raise an eyebrow

So you leave your door unlocked and then complain when people let themselves in....

It all depends on what the custom is in your family. Quite normal in my family to pop in unannounced day and night. Most of us have keys to each-other's houses too. The first thing my cousin's wife did when she married him is to take away all the keys to their flat and change the code on the entry door to the apartment complex. She clearly didn't like out customs from the start and took steps to protect their privacy. You can do the same by locking your front door.

Surely the only reason to keep your door unlocked is so people can just walk in.
you cannot complain about people doing this when you have set absolutely no boundaries at all

Yes good points about locking the door. We must do that.

really good points about seeing the good- she’s prioritised the birthday and that’s kind.

thanks vipers!

Yes this would be too late for me, I’m often getting ready for my bed at that time. 8 about the latest I would consider acceptable whether family or not, and I would expect a text if later.

Yes late. And anyone should always text beforehand!

Also worth considering 9pm isn't that late for a lot of people and the 14 year old at least would still be up at that time.

She’s family. It’s not a big deal.

Yes it's too late, but I wouldn't be happy with anyone walking into my house at any time. My front door can only be opened from the outside with a key and automatically locks when I close it.

Haha, we live in a safe part of the uk. Only ever lock the door when we go to bed.

Why does she feel she can just walk into your house? I mean, I have a key to my dad's place, a couple of other relatives, and to a good friend's place, but wouldn't dream of entering either without ascertaining whether or not they were home or awake.
That's just weird

Wouldn't actually bother me in this particular situation (a quick 5 mins to drop off a birthday card by family member).

However, they would have had to knock on my door as it's always locked...and quite possibly I wouldn't have answered, as I'd have been in bed 😂

But in principle...not overly concerning 🤷‍♀️