Tell me if I am!

[Peclet]

Last night around 9pm the front door opens and a soft voice calls “hi”. It was my partners SIL calling around with a birthday card for DS. I initially get a fright and then DH gets up and says hello. Both kids come down from their beds to ask who is here. SIL stays for about 5 mins. kids are 11, 14.

I said to my partner I think it’s too late to pop in. And I would have preferred a text before to say. Just swinging by with a card. A little heads up. He disagrees and says family doesn’t need to.

i think after 7pm it’s too late to just open the door and come in.

I've got a key to my son's house which my daughter in law gave me. I don't think I'd just let myself in at 9 pm though. I'd text first to warn them and check it's ok

I’m surprised your 11 and 14 year olds were in bed by then? Maybe not your 11 year old so much but the 14 year old being in bed surprised me! My 11 year old would be getting ready for bed but not actually in bed at that point.

no I don’t think it’s too late, but MN always surprises me with adults in bed at 8pm.

Locking the door wouldn’t solve the issue. I issue she’d knock or ring the bell, then you’re hardly going to ignore her. She’s not a burglar trying her luck who will test the handle, find it’s locked and go away 😂

I think what would irk me is someone trying the door as a first resort instead of knocking on it like a polite person.

It's family. It's 5 minutes. It's to do something nice for one of your immediate family. Yes YABU.

And a 14 year old in bed before 9? Really. That's the strange thing in the post not anything your SIL did.

I wouldn't leave my door unlocked so anyone can just walk in, no matter what time of day, and if I went round to someone else's home I wouldn't just open the door, I'd knock or ring the bell.

And no, 9pm isn't too late for someone to turn up unexpectedly, not when you have kids of 11 and 14. It would be different if they were babies or toddlers and you had trouble getting them to sleep, but I'd expect a teenager to still be wide awake at that time anyway.

Do all your family just open the door and come in when they visit? If that’s a common thing then she’s fine to pop round and open the door. If you’re uncomfortable with that after a certain time in the evening just say knock after 6 or something. I really don’t understand the amount of mumsnet threads about minor social interactions

Not in bed, but had gone up to wind down and was pottering around.

If they don't knock it you have to start to lock it.

In that case it really didn't matter that he came down for 5 minutes to see his auntie , did it?