How To Opt Out Health Visiting?

[cherrycakes33]

I had my child last year and had a Health Visitor at the start.
I found her extremely intimidating and very dismissive of my concerns.
The experience I received was just a tick box exercise.

She was forcing me to breast feed even though I had various infections at the time and was on various medication.

In the Red Book she had ticked off things that she had not even discussed with me which I think is appalling.

She told us that it was a legal requirement to have a health visitor.
It was only reading on here that I found out otherwise and Opted Out and also complained, I wasn't contacted again until now.

Anyway I received an appointment for my child's 10 - 12 month development review and I called to advise that I had Opted Out due to the appalling service I had received and again I was advised it was "mandatory" and felt quite bullied.
I am in the process of moving home and told the health visitor this.

Few days later another appointment arrives on the post (even though I had told her the moving date).

We have now moved to a different city and I am dreading another intimidating experiences with a health visitor.

Despite me opting out I was still contacted so how would I go about approaching this when the new health visitor contacts me?

Honestly the first health visitor and the second one who called me were so intimidating and I just want to be left alone by them as I find them so unhelpful, pushy and harassing.

My child is under dietician care and has regular reviews with the GP for an allergy and I always go to the GP for any issues.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

you may find this helpful
https://ukhsa.blog.gov.uk/2017/03/01/continuing-the-mandation-of-the-universal-five-health-visiting-checks/

I opted out with a letter in writing that was assigned by both parents.

Ring them up and say you're opting out.

My HV tried to report me to social services because my youngest son hadn't his jabs... he was 4 weeks late having them due to illness! 🙄
I rang them up and told them this is why I was opting out because they are useless and never heard from them again. It's as easy as that.

I'll be surprised if you get followed up now you've moved, unless you're flagged as a concern for some reason. Health visiting is sporadic. I know people in my area who still havent had a 1 year check and their childs now 4 and in school...

If they contact you just opt out. I did the 1 year check. Which confirmed how utterly useless they are. When a 2ish year one turned up i called and cancelled and told them politely I wanted to opt out and would contact them if i needed anything. Never heard from them again.

That is disgraceful! I'm so sorry you experienced this, the experiences I have had with these two health visitors is that they feel that they are the police or something.

I refused HV for my second I told GP and used GP to do checks, and did weight etc myself and kept it in red book.

this was after poor and judgemental care after my first was born.
(the HV told me that it was appalling that I was still breastfeeding my second at 18mo and even went to discuss it with her colleague, both of whom decided that it was wrong and I should stop immediately.)
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If the do get in touch now you’ve moved simply tell them you will get in touch if or when you need their support but, otherwise, thank you but no thank you!

We had an awful experience with HVs being incompetent and borderline harassing us when we declined their input; even telling them that I knew it was an optional not mandatory service wasn’t enough for some of them. I ended up writing to their manager to say we withdrew consent for them to process the family’s information and, as they work for the council, it seemed to work. We’ve now aged out of their service but I would never willingly accept input form the HV team in our area!!

I did write an email to state I was opting out and have the reasons why and how the service I had received was appalling.

Yet I was still contacted and had a call of a health visitor.

I guess I will see if I am contacted and then politely decline the service and see what happens as they are very pushy.

I have opted out and still get calls/texts about the appointments for both kids. I don't mind much, I tell them I don't need it and they are fine about it.

Are you in England? I thought HVs were mandatory in parts of the UK (not sure where though?).

Yeah I live in the UK.

The HV must of wrote to my child's GP to advise that I had opted out of the service.

The GP asked me why I had refused the HV service and when I explained the reasons the GP was fine with it and confirmed that it was an optional service.

I sadly concur with this and had a similar rubbish service.

however child is now 2 I guess we don’t hear from them again anyway?

All engagement with the HV is optional and it’s appalling that you were told that is was “mandatory” - this is simple not true. How can you trust the service if the HV feels they need to lie to you so that you will attend an appointment?

So true - and annoying!

Plus, regarding the linked article above - the mandatory part is about the service on offer, as different areas were stopping certain age related input unless the child flagged as already having disabilities or additional needs, or the family were ‘on the radar’ so to speak; not that parental participation is mandatory!

Mine are older now but I opted out when dd2 was tiny because she said dd1, three at the time, was “very odd” because she wasn’t into princesses (home visit when dd2 was newborn). I wish I was making this up but I’m not. The HV then told me it was “mandatory” to attend a weaning class. She had a trainee HV with her who looked mortified and confirmed that guidance hadn’t changed in the last three years.

Really I shouldn’t have engaged in the first place because this was the woman who told me, when sliding into PND due to my breastfeeding “failure” (her words) to get some make up on and go out for the night as now there was “no excuse”. I had actually managed make up that day and I sobbed when she left.

I was younger then. I have learned!

It should be made clear at the initial booking appointment that health visitors are optional.

The first one who visited told me it "was the law to have a health visitor", absolute disgrace.
Everything she told me was the opposite of what the GP advised.

I will see if anyone contacts me and will put it in writing about opting out and forward the email I sent when I opted out.
Weird how they left me alone all this time and didn't even have the 8 week check and all of a sudden chasing me about the 1 year review.

They are very pushy! My daughter sees multiple health professionals and we already know she is delayed etc. I got the question age through and tried to push back on it considering it was all going to be not yet. The woman I spoke to was adamant it still needed completed which baffled all of the other professionals involved.

Thankfully the health visitor we have is absolutely amazing, as was the one before her.

By the time we got to 3rd child had no patience for it. We told them going to visit family out of area for a few months and would look into getting weighed etc whilst away - nothing ever came of it and avoided all but the 1st appointment. Wish I'd done it with the previous.

Hi. I’ve just come across this thread and I’m considering not going to see my health visitor anymore. She was great when she was coming to us, but last week we had an appointment in the clinic, she was supposed to chat to us more about his development, how we are getting on and so on as he has not long come out of a pavlik harness, I think all she wanted to do mainly was weigh him and see us off. We was chatting to her, and as we was the other woman in the room asked should she get the next person in and she said yes, so we’re there and then the other lady with her baby walks in too. We left at this point, but I just found it so rude! It’s not as if it was super busy either, so I was really disappointed. My little boy was in a pavlik harness from 3 weeks to 17 weeks, and he is doing amazing out of it, but it would have been nice to ask her more questions

@Dani46
Sorry to hear of your experience with the HV, you would think given your child's circumstances that she would have at least spent more time with you.
Hope your child is OK? Sorry to hear that, bless you.

To be honest my experience with them that it is a purely a Tick Box exercise service they offer.

My HV ticked off things in the Red Book that she hadn't even discussed with me, I was appalled.
They are not very honest either and lead you to believe that it is a mandatory service, it's not it is entirely optional.

I was contacted on Friday by NHSNoReply automated SMS welcoming me to the area and advising me a HV would contact me to arrange a home visit.

I immediately called them and told the receptionist I had previously Opted Out, the lady was very pushy just kept saying a HV would call me on Monday.

I emailed PALS stating I withdrew my consent in January and that this is becoming harassment now and any more communication from any HV will warrant a formal complaint to the NHS - I have all emails and a record of everything.

I am taking my son for a review next week at the GP anyway and will ensure that the GP contacts the HV team to make them aware that my son has regular reviews.

@cherrycakes33 tell me about, she purposely booked that appointment at that date to discuss his development and see how we are. I’m just so glad that we are doing great! He is doing amazing too, coped so well out of his harness, and hopefully when he goes back in a few months his hips are still healthy 🤞 he had hip dysplasia, which didn’t affect him at all thankfully being in the harness, I think it affected me more 😅

Im also sorry you’ve had a bad experience, how awful too! I don’t understand why they are like this at all? Tbh, I don’t even think they know half of what they talk about most of the time! I’m glad you kept all emails, and hopefully when you go the gp and they inform them, they stop pestering you! They honestly just sound like bully’s.

When we first started to see ours, she was great at first. But looking back now, I honestly don’t think she was much help. My little boy has a doctors appointment next week, and I’m also thinking of maybe asking them. Are they able to contact them on your behalf and stop them from contacting you? I would be more then happy for him to see the go for check ups than go there.

Health visitors may appear pushy but the next time there is a high profile death of a young child they will be accused of not being pushy enough. They really can’t win .

As long as you are aware of things and yes medical help otherwise, it's fine.

HV let my DC1 down badly (autism, severe learning difficulties). Refused to refer to paed (in favour of wait and see), refused Salt referrals (because wait and see is cheaper) and a few other things. I got all referrals in place by GP after DC turned 3. this wasn't just one HV but a whole group. One as bad as another. I refused all HV involvement for DC2 as a result. That ars useless at best and dangerous at worst IME.

I made a big pals complaint and tbh, got a big apology and all had to attend extra training but it shouldn't have happened. Just see the GP.

I don’t disagree that some HVs can come across as pushy, but no-one can “force” you to breastfeed.

Nothing's changed then. My DC are 29 and 26. Useless then, useless now. They could be using their post graduate nurse training to better use on the wards but that involves harder work and shifts. Sadly, it attracts the wrong types.

My first health visitor told me you can't breastfeed unless you wear sterilized nipple covers. Second health visitor said that you must not kiss your baby on the head or cheek because germs. This was all pre COVID even. Another one repeatedly told me my child was on 99th centile for weight and was obese. I repeatedly had to explain, with pointing at graphs in the red book, that child was also on 99th centile for height and therefore no need to panic.