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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have run the petrol down to 40 miles left

403 replies

Baby3or · 21/10/2024 19:29

I recently drove 115 miles on a motorway back to London suburbs. I was watching the petrol number the whole way (it gives it in miles left to go before it’s empty) and at 70 I was considering stopping for petrol (lots of places on the motorway and then lots of places in city suburbs on the way to our house). I decided not to stop as baby was asleep and also our older child was keen to get home after a long journey.

we live less than a mile from a big supermarket with a petrol station and also plenty of other places to fill up.

husband had a go at me saying ‘what would I have done if we had run out of petrol / how had I let myself get in that situation’ I said I was fully aware how much was left and I made a decision not to refuel as on balance it was low but not empty.

AIBU??

OP posts:
Secradonugh · 21/10/2024 22:01

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 21/10/2024 21:58

Serious question, are you aware that running it low can cause all sorts of other engine issues as it sucks all the shit out the bottom of the tank?

That said, I agree with everyone else that your DH is a dickhead for having a go at you, he could have just explained why letting it run low it bad for the car and ask you to be more aware next time. But I can't help and wonder if you did it on purpose to oiss him off.

Edited

As long as it's solid it should only block the fuel filter, however if it's water (which can get in through condensation) then you are spot on it will destroy injectors.

Icanttakethisanymore · 21/10/2024 22:03

A few times I’ve run it so low the range thingy stops showing a number which is pretty anxiety inducing. I’m an optimist though, so always assumed it would be ok (always has been so far).

BumpyaDaisyevna · 21/10/2024 22:03

Hope your DH never gets an electric car - the range anxiety would kill him!

Icanttakethisanymore · 21/10/2024 22:06

Icanflyhigh · 21/10/2024 21:39

I despise filling up with fuel, I literally hate it!

So my favourite trick is to wait until my light is on and then plead with DH to borrow his posh car for the day (and he always says yes) and he brings my truck home brimmed with diesel and we're all happy!!

I did learn the had way not to do that in my old camper van..... that fuel gauge is most unreliable and petrol stations in rural Cornwall are few and far between!!!😂

What’s so terrible about filling up with fuel?? the smell? I do find the filers make my hand ache a bit sometimes, that’s a bit annoying.

TwistedWonder · 21/10/2024 22:09

Ace56 · 21/10/2024 19:36

I only ever fill up when the light comes on! I thought this was normal.

It is normal isn’t if? I’m in my 50’s been driving 40 years and don’t think I’ve ever put petrol in until the warning light comes on

Cel77 · 21/10/2024 22:09

JudgeJ · 21/10/2024 21:47

I hope you enjoy paying to have the engine flushed to clear all the sediment you've allowed to enter the system. What's the point of playing Russian roulette, it doesn't save you anything and it can cost you a lot!

Show quote history

I know my shortcomings, thank you very much 😁

motherdaughter · 21/10/2024 22:10

If I'm being a really impressive adult I fill up before 40 miles - but there is nothing between home and work. My commute is 35mi and fuel near work is significantly cheaper than at home (up to 10p a litre). If I'm amazing I refuel before going home otherwise I have to put £20 of expensive fuel in my car to get me to a garage.

My husband would laugh at me if I ran out of fuel. Then he might bring me a can of petrol. But he's a civilized adult not a controlling idiot.

MrsAga · 21/10/2024 22:11

I seem to have turned this into my DH’s problem. He gets very stressed if it gets low. I’m a “chill ya boots, it’ll go to town 3 times on that” kind of person. So he just started filling it up so he didn’t have to worry about my car running out 🤣 (he rarely drives it) So now if it gets low….. “you’ve let my car get low on fuel dear” or “I need fuel, but not urgent, I’m sure I’ll squeeze a few more journeys out of it” little snigger to myself as I know it’ll be full next time I get in it.
On a practical note though, these days, I like to keep enough in to at least get me to & from the nearest hospital.

rainfallpurevividcat · 21/10/2024 22:12

Of course it's fine. DH was being a dick.

Original poster
Baby3or · 21/10/2024 22:15

DraftUp · 21/10/2024 21:52

Your husband sounds like mine. My dh after years of making me feel like a naughty child and putting me on egg shells had a mental health crisis. In hindsight I think I was facilitating his anxiety. Your response to petrol gripe is exactly right. I spell it out to dh now that it’s his problem not mine and we’re both a lot better off for it. Good luck

So interesting thanks for sharing

OP posts:
widelegenes · 21/10/2024 22:16

TwistedWonder · 21/10/2024 22:09

It is normal isn’t if? I’m in my 50’s been driving 40 years and don’t think I’ve ever put petrol in until the warning light comes on

Show quote history

That's what the light is for, no?
Day to day I wait for the light to come on.
Before a long journey I'll fill her up.

I have run out of petrol before and I live quite rurally so I don't drive long with the light on.

Gosh, I sound so sensible and mature. 🤓

SinnerBoy · 21/10/2024 22:17

Icanflyhigh · Today 21:39

I did learn the had way not to do that in my old camper van..... that fuel gauge is most unreliable and petrol stations in rural Cornwall are few and far between!!!

I did that on a motorbike in 1999, going West from Scrabster. I had more than half a tank, no gauge, I used to go by mileage, when I passed a station. It went onto reserve at 85 miles, I then had exactly 20.

After a while, a guy going the other way in a pickup stopped to ask if I was OK and drove me to the petrol station. I had to but a 5l can and fill it and the bloke left when I was at the pump, but he'd told the cashier. She made me a cup of tea and told me to wait, then explained to everyone coming in what was going on and after a while, I got a lift back to my bike.

I rode very carefully at under 50, back to the petrol station filled the tank and jerry can and went back to Scrabster; I never did make it to Cape Wrath.

VestPantsandSocks · 21/10/2024 22:18

If you run the tank down, it picks up the debris at the bottom and can cause engine problems.

That's probably what your husband is referring to.

TypingoftheDead · 21/10/2024 22:19

My light comes on at 50 miles and there’s also a display showing how many miles I have left. If my car was shared I wouldn’t be bothered if it had 40 miles left, as long as we were taking turns paying to fill up.

Moonshine5 · 21/10/2024 22:19

Idk about the dynamics of your marital relationship but it's not ideal to drive around in red - it's the dregs of the gas (lower quality), the car is approximating the mileage and what if you got stuck in traffic with a baby and thing child - you would risk breaking down. Also it's an offence to get on the motorway without enough petrol ( but that's not what happened to you).
To those posters who are saying it's normal, unless it's a financial issue it's not really a race to the bottom.
How your DH speaks to you is another matter.
As a one off it's not a big deal.

Moonshine5 · 21/10/2024 22:20

*and thing lol don't know what happened

76evie · 21/10/2024 22:22

In 27 years of driving I have always waited for my fuel light to come on before filling up, isn’t that normal?! Ha ha

BlindBat · 21/10/2024 22:22

HildaHosmede · 21/10/2024 19:48

My car is so old it just has a bar that gets lower and then a red light comes on. I have no idea how many miles are left. I leave it until it goes red

Pfft. Amateur.

There's a stage after that. When the red light goes from being solid red to red that blinks on and off.

That's when you fill up! 😂

😂😂😂

Ohfuckwhatdoidonow · 21/10/2024 22:23

Baby3or · 21/10/2024 19:29

I recently drove 115 miles on a motorway back to London suburbs. I was watching the petrol number the whole way (it gives it in miles left to go before it’s empty) and at 70 I was considering stopping for petrol (lots of places on the motorway and then lots of places in city suburbs on the way to our house). I decided not to stop as baby was asleep and also our older child was keen to get home after a long journey.

we live less than a mile from a big supermarket with a petrol station and also plenty of other places to fill up.

husband had a go at me saying ‘what would I have done if we had run out of petrol / how had I let myself get in that situation’ I said I was fully aware how much was left and I made a decision not to refuel as on balance it was low but not empty.

AIBU??

Even on 0 you have a few miles left.
The bloke needs to loosen up, seriously.

Bagpuss83 · 21/10/2024 22:29

I suspect it is something else that is actually getting to him.
Is he under a lot of pressure or stress from something?

Original poster
Baby3or · 21/10/2024 22:30

Bagpuss83 · 21/10/2024 22:29

I suspect it is something else that is actually getting to him.
Is he under a lot of pressure or stress from something?

Yes very stressed

OP posts:
Choochoo21 · 21/10/2024 22:30

SinnerBoy · 21/10/2024 22:17

Icanflyhigh · Today 21:39

I did learn the had way not to do that in my old camper van..... that fuel gauge is most unreliable and petrol stations in rural Cornwall are few and far between!!!

I did that on a motorbike in 1999, going West from Scrabster. I had more than half a tank, no gauge, I used to go by mileage, when I passed a station. It went onto reserve at 85 miles, I then had exactly 20.

After a while, a guy going the other way in a pickup stopped to ask if I was OK and drove me to the petrol station. I had to but a 5l can and fill it and the bloke left when I was at the pump, but he'd told the cashier. She made me a cup of tea and told me to wait, then explained to everyone coming in what was going on and after a while, I got a lift back to my bike.

I rode very carefully at under 50, back to the petrol station filled the tank and jerry can and went back to Scrabster; I never did make it to Cape Wrath.

Sounds like the beginning of a horror film/serial killer documentary!! 😱

juggernorks · 21/10/2024 22:31

What a bore, he needs to get a life!

LostTheMarble · 21/10/2024 22:35

I drive a 10 year old diesel. The light comes
on when it gets under 60 miles, and I do fill it up when that happens. Within a couple of days, not immediately. But I’m single and my car is my problem, don’t have any fuckwits to answer to. I’ve ran the battery out on two separate cars, again was my issue, shit happens. I’ve found that my diesel makes me more jumpy about filling up than my previous petrol ones did though. Feels like it runs worse the less miles I have left?

Icanttakethisanymore · 21/10/2024 22:36

Baby3or · 21/10/2024 20:59

Thank you so much.

i could post my life in its full ugliness but ive split it up into lots of different posts in the pasts (one about his affair, one about his temper, one about his drinking which is actually the only thing possibly resolved), and the LTBs are so fierce. Posters starting getting angry saying she’s not going to leave him what’s the point in even replying to this thread it’s a waste etc. and that was to purely one of my issues not even the whole shebang.
it’s so easy to say ltb on the internet. It’s not easy when you have a 1yo and another older children who adore their dad, and there are good times and you have a comfortable life in some ways and being SAHM watching our little people when our DC1 was so distressed at nursery for such a long time. The bad times are never the full picture.

Show quote history

sometimes staying is the right thing to do, sometimes it’s not. As you say, it’s never simple to split up a family. My mum stayed with my dad because she thought it was the right thing to do for us kids. I don’t know if my life would have better or worse without my dad around (he was selfish and drank too much but never violent and did love us in his own way) but I know she stayed with him for the right reasons. It was just one of the many ways she’s put our happiness ahead of her own. I hope things get better OP x