To think if I ask the school to notify meof something ,they should?

[flossie64]

I recently filled a form in for my DD to get her medical at school, in the comments box I stated "I wish to be present when the medical takes place"
Simple enough one would yhink ,but no my DD comes home and gayly tells me "I got weighed measured and my hearing tested today Mum".
I know it seems quite trivial, but if it was not possible they could have contacted me.
It just makes me think what else happens without my consent
the headteacher was needless to say gobsmacked when I spoke to him about it.

They are not allowed to do that! Fact. I would speak to the school nurse directly. You can get the number from the school or local GP.

I am willing to give the head a couple of days to find out what has gone on and then I will go in with all guns blazing as I am very annoyed about it.
My DD said one little boy was crying cos his Mum wasn't there so it obviously can distress some children.
I do wonder where I staud though as I did give permission for the medical all be it in my presence

Staud should have been stand

Yes you did give permission but you gave permission for it to take place IN YOUR PRESENCE not without you there. So actually you DIDN'T give your permission for the examination that took place. What is the point in having a section to leave comments on the form if they ignore them?

I wouldn't be giving the head anytime to sort it out - I would be back in there tomorrow demanding an explanation and an apology

flossie64 is your dd in reception class - because if I remember right, the medical is not the same thing as the hearing and height/weight test your dd had today. I think they are 2 separate things.

NT -yes she is in reception, the form said it was a school medical ,although it was height /weight and hearing.
Am I over reacting

Why did you feel the need to be present, are you a helicopter parent ??

I sympathise with you that your wishes were ignored........ but at the same time I'm wondering......... why do you object?

Have a dc of a similar age. They can do whatever health checks or standard monitoring they like.

I don't even know what a helicopter parent is ,so i presume I am not one.
I felt I wanted to be there as my DD has had medical problems in the past and she always wanted me beside when doctors etc were checking her over.

Those questionsing why she wanted to be there are missing the point aren't you? Not sure I would be bothered either to not be there but the point is that the school ignored her express wishes and in doing so in my eyes she didn't consent as the condition she placed on it taking placed was totally ignored. That's why she is pissed off and NBU.

It's another debate as to whether she is reasonable or not for wanting to be there and very probably none of our business

my DD has had medical problems in the past and she always wanted me beside when doctors etc were checking her over.

She appears to have sailed through this, so back off and stop hovering(helicopter parenting), let her have some independence.

I let her have plenty of independence thank you . If you knew , which you don't I am definately not a helicopter parent, now you have defined it.

Either way, they are not allowed to do that. I would speak to the Head in the morning and then ring the school nurse. She should have rung you or written you to inform of times etc - and should have read the return form properly.

thanks Alicet , That was the point exactly, I just don't think schools should ignore parents wishes especially if they give a form out so you can express a preference.

thanks eddiejo . I help with school fruit tomorrow and will ask whats happening then.

To be honest - she will have breeched guildlines and policy for not respecting your wishes.

I will post again when I get a reply.Then hopefully youheventseenme will not accuse me of being a helcopter again as my dh is in the RAF and I'm sure it takes the saying married to your job too literally.

Good luck (stay low!!!) he he

I'd choose your battles issues with the school more carefully. Save the indignation for something that matters more. You don't want your children's teachers to tune out when they see you coming.

Have you really not heard of a helicopter parent??? They hover above their child.

Goodness me I don't think the OP is being unreasonable at all. When your dc has their school medical it is a perfect opportunity for the parents to attend and discuss any problems they may wish with the school nurse.

They asked her if she'd like to be there and she said yes, so they are in the wrong.

Flossie, what exactly did the headteacher say when you confronted her?

I agree with nametaken.

I do not.

I think the point is that there may be special reasons why one particular parent might feel the need to be present- and presumably that's why the box is there. If these circumstances don't apply, then they don't need to tick the box. But if they have ticked the box, then they might reasonably expect the school to take notice of this.

I have never done so myself and wouldn't now, but there was a period - after dd had falsely been accused by a doctor of faking her symptoms and been detained in hospital due to unfounded sexual abuse suspicions - when she was very wary of medical examinations. Understandable, on the whole. So if a medical examination had come up at that time, I might well have felt the need to tick the box. Fortunately, she's got over it, with my support.

cory

YouHaventSeenMe - your argument against reads to me like this:

OP: I found a worm in my tomato soup in a restaurant, should I complain?
YHSM: Well I would never eat tomato soup in a restaurant so you are making a fuss about nothing

!

Except that you can choose what restaurant to eat in on a whim. Your children are more tied to the school. The teachers' good opinion matters more than the waiters' good opinion. just my take.