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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitting Costs

83 replies

Soap84 · 21/10/2024 10:23

I need some opinions. I have 2 kids - 8 months and almost 4yrs. We've had the same babysitter since our oldest was 18m and she works at our daughter's nursery. She's 21, qualified and lovely. We trust her and are very happy to have her babysitting for us.

Her fees have always been £12ph and we always get food in for her and pay for her taxi home (we're in North London). We've arranged for her to babysit both kids for the first time but she's said her fees are £12 per child, so £24ph!!! Obviously babysitting a baby is more responsibility and we're happy to pay her more than £12, but double is out of our budget. It would mean £150-£200 before we've even gone out!

She has historically charged £12 per child when it's kids from different families (so the cost doesn't fall on one family) but this is just too high a cost for us.

I'm panicking because we don't have any family nearby, so her babysitting has been a bit of a lifeline and I don't want to undervalue her. But we also can't afford that high a cost, except for very very special occasions.

AIBU? Should I talk to her about it? What is the going rate for 2 kids?

OP posts:
FrequentNameChanger2024 · 21/10/2024 10:27

I couldnt afford to pay that myself and would begrudge doing so, but at the same time, your youngest is 8 months old and will need a lot more care than the 4 year old who presumably sleeps through

We are in the north west and my babysitter doesnt charge per child, I dont think I could afford her if she did

Nogaxeh · 21/10/2024 10:29

Logically, you can afford her half as often for two kids, if the price is twice that for one kid. Maybe more often than that if you don't spend the money you would have spent on a restaurant/whatever when you now don't go out.

So, it does feel like a lot of money, and I can understand hoping for a discount on the second child, but I think it's not as bad as your first impression makes it feel.

My experience with babysitters has never been great, so I think that finding one you trust is super valuable and worth the money.

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/10/2024 10:30

I’d expect a babysitter to charge more for looking after two children, one a fairly small baby, than one older child - it’s a lot more work and responsibility and she’s assuming your baby is likely to wake and fuss while she sits. Double might be somewhat unrealistic - but I pay £18 per hour for my cleaner, so £12 per hour someone taking care of a child rather than a carpet sounds wildly cheap in the first place. See if you can meet in the middle - but in London, I doubt she’s short of work tbh.

mycatsanutter · 21/10/2024 10:33

That's an awful lot of money ! My dd23 works in a nursery ( in the north) and babysits for some of the dc there also , she charges £12 per hour regardless of how many dc. She is provided with food and an Uber paid for her to get home .

poetryandwine · 21/10/2024 10:35

Ouch. I am not in London where I think everything is more expensive.

I understand why this feels high but TBH I think £12/hr for a fab babysitter with qualifications was a bit of a bargain. I would expect to pay a high school or uni student from the neighbourhood that.

I think I would suck it up and modify my evenings out, perhaps whilst cultivating other childminding sources

AutumnNanny · 21/10/2024 10:36

It would mean £150-£200 before we've even gone out!

what???

£12 ph is incredibly cheap.

Ask local people what they pay. Then decide how much more the peace of mind is worth to you, to have someone you know & trust.

charging per child in the same family is unusual (to say the least) but a bit more once there's a baby on the scene, is somewhat reasonable. Say, £12 up to £15, even £20 but doubling it isn't right. She's already tied up with one child, so that's the bulk of the cost.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 21/10/2024 10:37

Hmmm I think for London TBH £12ph was a steal, and likely she only did it because there wasn't much actual work involved. Of course she'll want more if there's a chance she'll be working all night!

You can always discuss with her, but if it's a flat rate as such you might not get anywhere. If your youngest is sleeping well through the hours you'll be out, that would likely be a good point to start with.

Original poster
Soap84 · 21/10/2024 10:37

I totally agree about paying more when the baby is so small, but double is a lot. And actually the baby sleeps from 7.30pm, it's actually my 4yr old who refuses to go to sleep when shes being babysat, so they watch TV. This has always been the case!

I also completely agree about having someone we trust. I don't want to rock the boat but I'm sure when she started babysitting for us she told us her fee was the same for kids in the same family (up to 3) but per child if from different families. I just can't find the thing she sent with her fees on (it's also obvs fine for her to change her fees)

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/10/2024 10:39

I wouldn't consider it for a moment. On Mumsnet you will get lots of people saying you should pay more than minimum wage, but in real life there are plenty of lovely and competent people more than happy to look after two children for £12 an hour and a taxi home.

LemonLime9 · 21/10/2024 10:40

£12 an hour for London was cheap though when I looked on childcare most wanted £20 an hour

Original poster
Soap84 · 21/10/2024 10:41

For reference, our local friends have a babysitter (equally qualified, from a different nursery) look after their 2 young children for £14ph.

With my youngest being a baby, I was thinking more like £15-18ph.

OP posts:
mitogoshigg · 21/10/2024 10:43

I've charged £15 per hour plus £5per child more than 2. I'm not a nursery teacher but I am an experienced mother whose children are adults. My one semi regular family always round up and tip on top but they have a dc with non verbal autism and apparently I'm the only person other than her mum in Spain willing to babysit, but he's lovely and good for me! (My dc has asd so I have the experience!)

doodleschnoodle · 21/10/2024 10:43

That's what I would expect to pay tbh, especially given it's London. £12ph is very low for childcare. As a PP said, I pay £18 an hour for a cleaner and I'm in the north of Scotland, so I would expect to pay more than that for someone early years qualified looking after my two young children, one of which is a baby.

You could get cheaper definitely, but it might be more akin to a teenager making some pocket money type thing than a qualified childcare professional who presumably has first aid, etc. But if you're asking whether it's unreasonable for her to charge that, no I don't think it is. Women in particular often undervalue themselves and their skills so it's good she's not doing that.

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 21/10/2024 10:44

£24 an hour!!!

Jesus that's more than junior doctors isn't it? It's def more than a TA gets and they have 30 kids to look after.

I think she is being greedy op - fair enough charge a bit more for an extra child but that is too much.

doodleschnoodle · 21/10/2024 10:45

Also if you're saying it's £150-200, that means you're out between 6-8 hours, which is a long time!

WhereIsMyLight · 21/10/2024 10:47

Soap84 · 21/10/2024 10:41

For reference, our local friends have a babysitter (equally qualified, from a different nursery) look after their 2 young children for £14ph.

With my youngest being a baby, I was thinking more like £15-18ph.

Then ask your local friends to pass on your details to their babysitter. If you want to keep the babysitter your child knows, you’ll need to pay what she wants paying and you go out less.

GiveItAGoMalcom · 21/10/2024 10:48

She's a qualified nursery worker, you get what you pay for.

I think it's refreshing that this young woman knows her worth and is willing to charge it.

I get that it's too expensive for you OP, but rather than try to push this qualified young woman's price down, you should look around for someone you can afford.

Seeline · 21/10/2024 10:49

doodleschnoodle · 21/10/2024 10:45

Also if you're saying it's £150-200, that means you're out between 6-8 hours, which is a long time!

Yes this!
Many sitters charge extra for hours after midnight so if she is charging a flat rate fee that's a bonus.

Excited101 · 21/10/2024 10:52

£24 is ridiculous and ‘per child’ isn’t really a thing- unless it’s different families.

£12 is a tiny bit on the low side but not much, £13-£15 for nighttime babysitting is a lot more normal.

DragonGypsyDoris · 21/10/2024 10:52

I bet HMRC would be interested to know her hourly rate for this work on the side.

ACynicalDad · 21/10/2024 10:54

We have always paid for all the kids, but I think a bit more for one that's 8 months is reasonable, I'd offer £15 then go elsewhere.

Bigbus · 21/10/2024 10:54

I live in London and have had lots of babysitters over the years and now my teenagers babysit other kids. £24 an hour is completely ridiculous. I’m not sure where those who think it is are living? I’d say £15-£18 an hour for 2 kids is enough.

honeylulu · 21/10/2024 10:54

There's probably room to negotiate somewhere in the middle. It might be dependent on how in demand she is. If she hasn't got a waiting list of people happy to pay £24 and she's risking losing you as a regular customer she might be willing to accept less than what she's asked.

I get what people are saying, that it's cheap compared to a cleaner etc. But if you can't afford it then you can't afford it. My kids are older now but in the early years we limited ourselves to 2 babysitting bookings a year as any more than that we just couldn't afford to pay babysitter £50 before stepping out of the door (this was nearly 20 years ago)and the cost of going out on top.

StMarieforme · 21/10/2024 10:55

So you'd be going out for 6-8 hrs?! That's an awful long time to leave a small baby?

leopardski · 21/10/2024 10:57

£12ph is astonishingly cheap for a qualified babysitter - I’m in the north west and pay £16. And there is a £5 surcharge for extra kids.

I’d maybe politely offer to meet her at around £20 and just see what she says. Perhaps she’s realised she’s cheap and is trying to up her fees.