Babysitting Costs

[Soap84]

I need some opinions. I have 2 kids - 8 months and almost 4yrs. We've had the same babysitter since our oldest was 18m and she works at our daughter's nursery. She's 21, qualified and lovely. We trust her and are very happy to have her babysitting for us.

Her fees have always been £12ph and we always get food in for her and pay for her taxi home (we're in North London). We've arranged for her to babysit both kids for the first time but she's said her fees are £12 per child, so £24ph!!! Obviously babysitting a baby is more responsibility and we're happy to pay her more than £12, but double is out of our budget. It would mean £150-£200 before we've even gone out!

She has historically charged £12 per child when it's kids from different families (so the cost doesn't fall on one family) but this is just too high a cost for us.

I'm panicking because we don't have any family nearby, so her babysitting has been a bit of a lifeline and I don't want to undervalue her. But we also can't afford that high a cost, except for very very special occasions.

AIBU? Should I talk to her about it? What is the going rate for 2 kids?

£17/hr for 2 kids in London with longterm trusted former nanny. Makes me wince but £12 too little - and £24 too much!

I think that's taking the piss. It's not unreasonable to pay a bit more for extra chidlren - although around here, babysitters only do that once it starts being extra extra eg ifyou send a friend's child round as well - but not double.

Also, you're already also paying for food and a taxi. So perhaps you should pay the £28 but stop paying for the taxi and food?

At the end of the day though, you pay what you are wiling to and she charges what she can find people willing to pay. At that price, I'd be looking for a new babysitter. One who I would upfront NOT offer to pay for a taxi for.

I would probably pay it if you are happy with her but I certainly wouldn’t then be providing food and transport costs on top.

As pp said, you’re asking her to stay awake in your home for 6 to 8 hours (based on your cost estimate of £150 to £200 per booking).

So let’s say you are asking her to arrive at 6pm, and you’ll be back 6 hours later at midnight, therefore her Uber home might get her home shortly after midnight.

Or let’s say you would like her to arrive at 5pm and you’ll be back at 1am.

That’s bath and bedtime for two small kids, single handed. She has to stay awake to check on the baby and maybe resettle and do a late fee?

It is late working, you are paying for her particular skill and relationship with your kids, there are two kids. She is almost certainly underpaid for the care she provides your kids at nursery. Seems reasonable to me.

When we get a babysitter it is the grandparents, we don’t go out until 7pm and we are back by 10.30pm or 11pm.

If you can’t afford the babysitter can you adjust your plans or find a cheaper teenager to sit the kids?

Look at sitters. See what they charge for a comparison. They are all great, DBS, vetted. Lifeline for us when kids were small.

As I said, I don't want to undervalue her. I was interested to know what the going rate is, if I'm being unreasonable to panic at £24ph and if it's typical for babysitters to charge double. I don't think it is from the people who have answered that.

She is hugely trusted and valued and I don't want to find someone else. We have a great relationship with her, as does our daughter. I'm not trying to be a dick 😂 If it means we go out less, then so be it, but I wanted to canvass opinion to make sure I'm not being totally unreasonable before speaking to her.

£150-200 is rounding up but includes food and a taxi. I'm not talking about going past midnight, though she's happily done that for us before. But we're not doing that atm with a baby obviously.

If you don’t want to pay it, then that’s fine. You don’t have to. She can charge what she wants to. Babies are much harder work than 4 year olds, as are 2 children versus 1

Couldn’t you book their babysitter for your kids?

We are in London and pay £12/hr for a qualified babysitter for two children. We also don't do food (I personally find this weird - I would prefer to sort out my own food than have someone assume they know what I like) or taxi.

There's no way you need to pay £24/hr. I would tell her that is too much and you'll find someone else

Will she be paying £8 of that in tax? I bloody doubt it!!

Well I value our relationship with our babysitter and also these are friends we usually go out with, so she's booked 😂

This is useful to see

https://joinbubble.com/parent-guides/babysitting-rates-uk-2_15070.html#:~:text=The%20average%20rate%20for%20a,locations%2C%20sitters%20may%20charge%20extra.

Just another thought OP - do you think maybe she's not comfortable babysitting for you for some reason and doesn't want to anymore? A lot less awkward to just charge a price she knows you won't pay, rather than say it to your face!

I actually had wondered if she didn't feel
comfortable babysitting a baby. Which is of course completely understandable.

Yeah that’s taking the piss. I’d say £15-18 is the going rate, probably towards the upper end for her since she’s qualified.
But does your 4YO really stay up watching TV the whole time you’re gone even if it’s late? Maybe that’s putting her off sitting for you unless she can get paid double, but she doesn’t want to say so because you use her nursery, so she’s using the 2nd kid as an excuse???

I pay £10/hr for 2 kids but I guess she isn't qualified and it was only from about age 2 and mine at that point were always asleep (we went out after bedtime). I can barely afford the £10/hr so definitely wouldn't be able to pay £24!

This was something that occurred to me too! My friend babysits for our youngest (age 10) occasionally. She is a qualified teacher though works as a social worker and has previously worked as a nanny. She charges us £10ph "mates rates" and said her usual hourly rate would be £12-14 depending on how many children, how old, how late etc.

Our neighbour asked her to quote for babysitting. He's a single parent with a 4 year old and 1 year old twins (long story). But he wanted her to come early afternoon, give them dinner and put them to bed. She remarked to me that it was a big ask for weekend babysitting and she wasn't too keen. I don't know what she quoted exactly but he didn't accept as he thought her rates were too high!

Babysitting fee per child is not a thing and something she will quickly learn if she is trying to get a bank of extra babysitting work. £24p/h is certainly too high by anyone's standards. Even experienced nannies are very rarely paid that rate, and are paid by the hour regardless of number of children.

£15-18 is standard for a babysitter with childcare qualifications.

UPDATE I messaged her and she immediately replied offering to charge £8-10 per child instead. We've agreed on £18ph.

Our 4yo honestly often doesn't go to sleep - it's bonkers.

I genuinely don't think it's that she doesn't want to babysit for us, she and her family (mum, aunt and cousin) all run the nursery and stand in for her to babysit for us if she can't. When she briefly had a different job, she said she couldn't babysit for us, so it's not like she can't say no to us.

Anyway, we seem to have resolved the issue. The range of opinions on here has been eye opening. Thanks all!

That sounds a lot more reasonable though still very much on the expensive side.

Will you still do the taxi/food?

I will still do food and taxi. Food isn't too much drama, couple of pizzas to chose from and some snacks. Sometimes she gets herself a takeaway anyway, and that's fine. Pizzas can go in the freezer if she doesn't want them but they're there if she does. And she's young - if we didn't get her a taxi, she'd walk or get the bus. I know it's her choice how she gets home, but I know I thought I was invincible in my 20s and I would rather know she gets home safely.

As others have said, I'd rather pay more for someone I know and trust and go out a bit less. But paying double was just a bit too far for me.

Talking to her is an insult. She is running a business and that's her rate.

You wouldn't do it with any other service you pay for, you either pay or seek another business that suits your budget

I have no idea if the price is reasonable or expensive, maybe she prefers to babysit only one child so deliberately prices herself.

I’d be direct.

Say it’s too expensive and you can’t afford it, but you could offer eg £15 an hour or £18 an hour.

And see what she says.

It’s not twice as much for her. Is she really saying she’d charge a family with four kids £48 an hour?

FYI I pay £15 an hour, good money given they’re asleep all the time the babysitter is here usually!

Wow. I've been a children's nanny for 34 years and get £15ph and I've worked up to that over the years. Babysitters don't usually charge per child, they charge per hour, no matter how many children there are. I've never heard of any babysitter doing that. I'd look at babysitting websites.

People negotiate fees all the time, in all sorts of jobs!