Husband called friend an idiot…..

[Leeta]

I am in a charity fundraising club. This morning a friend called round to drop off some things, collect some things and share some great fundraising ideas.My husband came in from the local shop and said who is the idiot parked across our drive. Knowing full well it was the woman in front of him. I was and remain shocked and surprised, he thinks it was funny, I do not . He refuses to acknowledge that this is an inappropriate way to speak to ANY woman. He would never call me an idiot. He did apologise at my insistence, but continues to maintain it was ok.

He shouldn’t have used that term, it’s rude, aggressive and unnecessary. He obviously feels he’s entitled to use abusive name calling.

Totally fair of him to come in and say, why has someone parked like that across our drive?!

But using that insult - not ok.

She was an idiot though, you shouldn’t park across a drive that’s a really annoying thing to do, why didn’t she park elsewhere?

The fundraising or the sex of the driver is completely irrelevant, everyone knows you don’t block a drive.

and just to add... my husband would probably have said exactly the same to whoever the visitor was

I am a woman and would call anyone, who blocked my drive, an idiot regardless of sex or gender. If I had a visitor call who was going to be there for more than a minute or so, I'd ask them to move their car a bit and not block the drive.

And she obviously feels entitled to park across his drive like an idiot.
And, yes, I know it's the OP's drive as well, but her friend wasn't inconveniencing her.

Why did she park across the drive? Was there no where else to park on the street? I guess she just thought she was parking next to your house and didn't realise your OH was out and would want to get in the driveway. I don't think she was hugely entitled, just didn't realise it would be an issue.

I think it was odd to purposely be so rude to someone even if they'd done something that wasn't ideal. He could have joked about it without calling her an idiot.

I don’t think you can post on mumsnet about parking without a diagram so yabu

He refuses to acknowledge that this is an inappropriate way to speak to ANY woman. He would never call me an idiot. He did apologise at my insistence, but continues to maintain it was ok.

Christ, let it go. Why are you dragging this out into a drama?

I mean, it reads to me like he's joking

I voted YABU because of your strange belief that no woman should be called an idiot even if they are being one.

how to misread a post lol

FGS. “Idiot” is pretty much the mildest term I can think of, it’s not aggressive or misogynistic. How do you cope with things that are actually upsetting and offensive? And parking across someone’s drive is idiotic.

He was pretending not to know it was her for a laugh, whilst making his point. 'Idiot' is not a strong word nowadays. If he said it aggressively that would be another matter, but it sounds as if he didn't, and he apologised when asked to. I wouldn't worry about it.

He sounds unpleasant.

My friend’s husband knows me well enough to know he would get grief back if he called me an idiot but I would also know it was a joke . I wish some people would lighten up .

He called her an idiot not a historical word description of disability!

I seriously think you need to re-evaluate your understanding of what abuse is. The woman did act like an idiot.

Only an idiot would be upset by their husband calling an idiot for doing something idiotic.

I read this like he was joking…

Would it have been ok if the person was male?

Personally (having been on the receiving end of driving idiots this morning) if she parked across your drive or anywhere else where she shouldn't then she deserves it.

You could argue that he could have been kinder but why? These people tend to know perfectly well what they're doing.

In that timeless MN phrase, you sound like hard work, OP.

Really OP??

I mean, it depends on the tone, doesn’t it? How he said it. Was he angry and aggressive or saying it with a wink, in a jokey way? Does he know your friend well? If they’d never met before you undoubtedly have a point OP, but what was said could also be considered a joke between friends.

I think it's a certain type of person, an idiot, who parks across someone’s drive visiting or not

It’s MN, you meant vile. Oh! And she was an idiot.

@Marblesbackagain I don’t think he’s abusive, I think to call someone an idiot is an abusive term: an insult.

Name calling is unnecessary. Describe the behaviour, don’t name call.