Can " nice" people be managers?

[malificent7]

I've had some awful managers in the pasy. They generally tend to be quite scary types. My current manager is lovely and it made me wonder if I could be a manager sometime but I have been described as "not scary."
What makes a good manager? I used to teach so I can be orhanised.

My DH is the nicest, kindest person you could meet and regularly gets feedback saying thanks for being such a great manager. I don’t think scary people should be managers at all! While yes they are there to supervise you and you report to them they are also there to support you. I’m sure you could do it!

Of course they can.

!

My dh is lovely, funny and caring.
He is a good manager, he used to be my manager back in the day 🤭
He has a knack of being humourous at the right time and he has a great sense of fairness.

Me on the other hand, would be useless. My delivery can come across as blunt, even when I don't mean to.

Have had two absolutely lovely managers, managed by talking people down and problem solving, no stress!

So is your current lovely manager scary?

I have two line managers. Both are lovely.

Managers need to be fair, supportive, consistent, lead by example, manage attendance/performance (where required), professional, maintain boundaries (friendly without being friends). Managers shouldn't be scary . I've been a manager and believe I was largely the above although. My managers have been largely the above also. Every person/organisation needs effective leadership and management

I’m a nice person and I am a manager - I have direct reports and they then have people who then report into them.

If I’m being honest I’m probably a bit of a people pleaser and I don’t like confrontation. However, this hasn’t held me back when it comes to managing people. I put my big girl pants on and tackle the difficult conversations head on.

My team are engaged, happy and absolutely brilliant at their jobs. In comparison my peers who perhaps aren’t as ‘nice’ as me seem to have ongoing issues and challenges with their teams. Their management style could be seen as edging towards micro management and I see a pattern of people switching off.

My manager is awesome. She is a warm, kind and encouraging person who has challenged me to build my skills and go outside my comfort zone by giving me responsibility with enough support as needed. I have progressed so much further than I imagined because she has built my confidence. Now I spend quite a lot of time telling her she shouldn't underestimate her own skills!

My manager is bloody lovely.

I think you have hit on an interesting nuance there. I've been described as "nice" before and I really don't like it - there's implication that you wouldn't assert yourself if required - i.e. you're a pushover, which isn't really what you'd look for in a manager

Interestingly that doesn't seem to come through in the same way with other positive words used upthread (e.g. "kind", "lovely").

In short, I don't think you have to be scary to be a manager, but you do somehow need to command respect, which doesn't necessarily come through to me with "nice".

Good managers are a balance between being firm but nice. They have boundaries that need to be set and adhered to, otherwise people just take the piss.
No need to be scary at all.
My last manager was an utter cunt. I moved house, and he refused to say I worked there when the letting agent contacted him for a reference. He was still my boss at the time. Utter knob.

Be nice was my mantra with my leadership team. I am no pushover, but I have always believed that to create a positive work environment leaders should make being nice their default mode. It seemed to work!

I agree with the other poster that you can't be nice but you can be decent. Unfortunately sometimes you come across someone as a manager that you have to be strong with to protect your team.

Being a manager in today's world is about supporting your team and bringing out the best in them so they can carry out their role in the best way possible to achieve success. You can be honest and set the standards if something isn't going right but also be nice about it. Managing by way of saying 'you must do this and that' without explaining why is what causes lack of motivation. Being nasty seems to be an old fashioned method now. Managers also have to be very careful because there are so many anxiety issues too. I say this as having managed teams for 20 years. It's about role modelling and motivating people as to why their role is important and to understand why their contribution is so important.

My manager (head teacher) is lovely!!! And is the most empathetic person ever and always there with a hug when you need it. She can also be tough and a bit scary (if you’re on the wrong side of her which thankfully I’ve never been) but is a through and through ‘nice’ person!

I'm a lovely kind manager!

Nice people make better managers because they don’t throw their weight about

When I was a nice person and a manager, I got absolutely broken by the managers above me, who were determined to not allow me to be a nice manager.

(I left, I didn't turn nasty!)

I've described as nice as many a time and my job involves people management. I work alongside a scary manager. It can be done and I've had some lovely feedback from people.

I do think some people take the piss and think you are an easy target in the way they don't with the scary manager.

I definitely think nice people can be managers, though as others have said they still need enough backbone to stand firm now and again. I like to think of a manager as someone who creates the environment for others to do great work rather than someone who "controls". Of course, that depends to some extent on the mindset and abilities of those who are managed, but most of us would work better for someone who empowers and encourages us than for someone who directs and mistrusts us.

Agree with this

I am kind, fair, supportive etc, but that's nit enough. You also need the confidence / assertiveness for those difficult conversations

I'm nice and I have 10 direct reports. You just have to find the right balance between being fair, set clear expectations and trust your employees

I am a nice manager! I get told so anyway.
Fairness and transparency. Lead by example. Don’t be afraid to make difficult decisions and defend them.
TALK to people but most importantly LISTEN to them.

I don’t think 'nice' people make particularly effective managers because they are too concerned with what other people think of them, want people to like them and are too quick to agree with whoever they are talking to at the time which means nothing ever gets done and/or no one knows where they stand. They are ineffective and lose confidence.

What you need in a manager is someone who is fair and consistent. Someone who is clear about expectations and boundaries and upholds them. Who can listen, communicate effectively (with everyone) and who manages with respect and kindness.

Scary and bullying bosses are weak and also ineffective but for different reasons.

I've had experience of all three.