Can " nice" people be managers?

[malificent7]

I've had some awful managers in the pasy. They generally tend to be quite scary types. My current manager is lovely and it made me wonder if I could be a manager sometime but I have been described as "not scary."
What makes a good manager? I used to teach so I can be orhanised.

My manager is the nicest guy. He's nice and a very effective manager. Very possible!

My manager is very nice. Actually, I've only had nice managers.

I was a good manager. I know because the people I was responsible for, told me so. They were encouraged to develop their skills, according to their strengths. They appreciated flexibility and didn’t take advantage. Several of them moved into more advanced roles and were appreciative of the support.

My current manager is horrific. Awkward, unconfident and turns everything back on you. Twists things, gaslighting, lots of contradictions followed by denial. A real blame culture. But oh so subtle.

I am looking to move on, before I start believing that I am really the terrible professional that he covertly suggests I am.

Yes definitely nice people can be managers. But, I think a lot of people management comes down to understanding the management style your team best responds to, and following that. I have had managers in the past who on the face of it were definitely 'nice' but their style of leadership just left me anxious and burnt out. So for me I don't think it's a case of nice vs nasty as to who should be a manager, but about someone with the emotional intelligence, empathy and people skills to bring the best out in their direct reports, even if that means adapting their style to different people within the team.

My manager is lovely, and not scary at all.

I’m nice and I’ve been a manager for 25 years. There’s many different styles of leadership, good managers get the best from
people. There’s many different ways to manage but there shouldn’t need to be anything scary about it in most scenarios.

I have quiet authority I guess- but I’m a real people person.

Style of leadership will vary by sector-a city trading floor is very different to my HE culture. If it’s a heavy target, hire/fire environment that will need a different personality to mine. I wouldn’t work anywhere related to sales.

My manager is a lovely, supportive woman who will help anyone realise their ambitions and abilities. Because of who she is, she doesn't need to be scary as we all do our very best, and she fosters the most collegiate atmosphere, where everyone supports each other. Our team is known as the A Team.

I've had managers who think they're scary, but I have no respect for them, so bar getting my work done (which im going to do anyway), I do not engage them at all. Ineffective, if you ask me.

Being unapproachable is not good management, you know that because you have described them as 'awful'. I bet your lovely manager gets a better performance from her team than the awful manager. So yes, you can be a manager without being scary.

If you have been a teacher you'll have some useful people skills that are relevant to being a manager. Remember that nobody is a perfect manager, we are all human and have strengths and weaknesses, just like the people we manage have strengths and weaknesses. And that's OK. There's lots of ways or styles of management and all are needed at different times, so someone might be good at managing in one situation and less good in another. For example, different management skills are required with a new graduate who needs a lot of coaching in comparison to managing someone who is very experienced and already knows their job inside out who is best left to plan their own work.

I'm nearing retirement, I can't think of any managers who weren't pleasant people.
One or two maybe weren't strong enough for their role, and typically didn't last long but they were the exception.

So yes, 'nice' people can be managers.

I'm pretty sure nasty ones shouldnt be managers!

When I look to recruit managers now I always look for someone who I think will be able to build a good rapport with people, but who have good boundaries. There is a manager that I manage (in post before my time) who is nice and caring but she is a terrible manager as she has favourites and can’t say no to anyone. This isn’t efficient and her team have lost respect for her. I am slowly managing her out of her role, she is very attached to it but I have put in subtle layers to keep her away from the people management and get her to manage the workload instead which is her strength. She isn’t going to change because she has no insight, and I can’t get rid of her, equally I can’t do nothing. I will always try to look for a solution but when I first became a manager I hated it and was too invested in people liking me. Now I care less I am here for a reason and so are they. I do care about them and don’t want anyone to be unhappy at work.

It depends on who or what you're managing, OP. If you're managing a team of factory or warehouse workers, or young call centre staff, you probably need a stricter and less "nice" attitude to manage them successfully. If you're managing a team of regulated professionals then as long as you are firm when needed then being a "nice" manager should be fine.

Re teachers, at secondary some of the best were 'scary' if they were dealing with miscreants but could then relax in the classroom because no one was going to take the piss.
Dealing with adults shouldn't need quite the same 'scariness' but the same sort of thing may apply in some contexts.

My DH always says people don't leave jobs, they leave managers. He's worked for some terrible ones himself and learnt how not to do it. Now he's a manager, he looks after his team. He had a new starter after around a month comment 'first place I've ever worked where not one person has something bad to say about the manager'.

I'm nice and have managed people for years and years.

I'm clear about what is needed
I make sure people have the right training to do their jobs
I listen to people
I play to people's strengths
I care about my team
I share successes
I give feedback when needed and constructive advice
I am a decent person and respect people's differences
I hire great people and empower them to do their jobs but support when needed
I'm honest and communicate well

I have had feedback over the years that people like working for me and many of them have worked for me more than once. It's a great privilege to lead people and I take the responsibility seriously.

Firm but fair is the best approach in my opinion.

Leadership and management are too different things and I find leadership gets better results.

Nice people can be managers. Weak people can’t.

It’s really hard to be any sort of manager in the current public sector, let alone a nice one, as there’s no money to support you. All software is self taught to the best of your ability. Versions of office are 20 years old, upgrades must not be mentioned or questioned, and there are audible gasps of shock if you mention 365. No option to get agency help as no budget to pay for it, so if a few people are off sick it’s just too bad, you just “have to prioritise”. So basically fail before you’ve started. No budget for anything like a card or flowers if staff are in hospital. It’s pretty dire and impossible to do the roles effectively.

All the qualities of a good manager

Do a bit of research into different management styles and leadership.

I'm a nice person, but was a rubbish manager. I have the qualifications and training too so it was a sour pill at the time 😂.

It's not necessary about if you are a nice person or not, it's how you implement the skills you need to manage other people.

I don’t have a budget for this sort of thing either but nonetheless my staff do still get those things. I get paid more than them and it’s quite a small thing to do out of your own pocket for people I work closely with. Likewise on birthdays and at Christmas a small gift for everyone on the team goes a long way (I have more than 20 so it has to be something small otherwise it’s unmanageable!)

I hope you don’t pay for the training and agency temps!

Yes I have paid for flowers etc. It is hardly a frequent cost and relatively small, so for the organisation to not even fund a get well card seems pretty awful tbh. Its just the messaging that it gives to public sector workers that they are worthless.

Managers shouldn't be scary. That's really poor management.

They do need to be capable of being honest even when it's not good news for the recipient though.