To ask, if you don’t share your child’s picture on social media…

[FlyingSoap]

Do you still share their name? Just planning what we are going to do after baby arrives. I am reluctant to share baby’s face online but don’t know if this should extend to all personal info about them.

Thoughts welcome either way.

My eldest was born 7 years ago and we decided before she was born that there would be no reference to her on social media. I am pleased with that, even all this time later, not least because you hear more and more that the children whose childhoods were plastererd on social media are likely as an adult cohort to be raging with their parents who did it.

I think the circle is coming back to personal privacy again.

I shared nothing. No names / photos/ half anonymous stuff. Mine are teens now and tell me they are very glad and grateful.
They feel sorry for friends whose parents have shared lots

None of your kids info or photos should be online. It's not safe.

I don’t no. But I also didn’t share either of my pregnancies, so I never planned a birth announcement. I’m not very active at all though, I mainly use it to be nosy / pass time on the train etc.

I don’t use SM (yes, OK. MN is SM but it’s anonymous)

I think there’s a backlash against it and many people just don’t bother now.

Nothing. Why would you?

I’ve never shared anything online ever, about myself or my dcs. Your close family and friends will know and who else needs to know?

I find the whole sharing everything online so strange.

Not a bean and I'm happy about that. She's completely anonymous and will remain so until she's old enough to decide what she wants to share.

We put up a newborn photo with name for both of ours (on our private, limited profile), and that’s been it. We share photos with our family members using the FamilyAlbum app and that’s it

I might reference them in a general way "the kids are in bed" type thing but I'd never talk about them, name them or share photos.

Everyone who is going to be involved in a child's life will meet them and will know their name.

There's just no good reason to share things online and doing so doesn't benefit the child at all. It's only about the parents' ego and attention.

Our social media is family and the sort of friends we would meet up with only - my FB friends list is under 80 and my husband’s under 60. Both of us have our settings so that unless you are on our friends list, you can only see our profile picture and cover photo. We can only be messaged by friends, or friends of friends - nobody can “add us” and, whatever you tag us in won’t appear on our walls unless we agree. We both agree that FB friend status should only be given to people that we would show pictures of our family to anyway… I have insta too, but that’s just full of pictures of my garden and cats!

On our child’s birthday we share 12 photos of him covering the last year on FB. We might make reference to him in posts - “eg “lovely walk in the sunshine today, DS found a secret path” but he wouldn’t directly appear in the photos of that walk, and that’s possibly a few times a year.

other people is more difficult…

My mum a few times shared pictures of DS as a baby/toddler, despite her asking her not to, but each time we reminded her. We’ve reached a compromise now where she has to show us what she wants to share first - the extra step of checking with us seems too much faff though as she doesn’t do it more than once or twice a year.

We haven’t stopped the school using his image - they don’t use names along side.

We haven’t stopped people taking photos of him with their children and sharing them incidentally - again, his name isn’t attached. And, we thankfully have like minded friends who tend not to over share anyway.

On social media? Not a bean. That's what telephones, emails, and instant messaging tools are for

My Instagram is totally private and limited to those I actually care about. But even then, I wouldn't post a photo or name, you just don't know who's looking in. We may do a photo of a foot or something, but that'd be as far as we'd go.

I shared when she was born with her first name. I don’t share pics unless it’s a back facing photo or something.

@cheesecurdsandgravy Even if your Facebook is 'locked down', do you actually trust Meta with your child's image? I'd never put a photo of my child on Facebook.

A close friend worked in child protection and has never shared her child’s photo or name. For reasons she knows best and I trust her on that

I have never shared anything personal on social media.

For most people I know that have kids you would think they are childless if you only saw their social media

I think they days of sharing loads about your kids online is gradually coming to an end and there are more private and secure ways of sharing updates on your child if you wish to do so

Nope, nothing is shared. No names, pictures etc. I worked for child line for a time and I absolutely wouldn’t share anything, even on a ‘private’ account.

I shared DS(7) as a baby/toddler on FB that was as private as it could get. I stopped putting pictures of his face on there a few years ago but I do still refer to him. Occasionally he'll ask me to put a photo on of something he's made or done to show people on the internet. I also ask him if I ever have to fill out a photo consent form and have done since he was about 5 (I know he's too young to really understand although they have done lots on e-safety in school, but I wanted him to get into it the habit of being asked/allowed to make decisions about himself. A couple of the people have looked shocked when I've asked him but I think it should be normal).

I only refer to ‘the kids’ nothing on ages, etc etc.
sometimes pics of the backs of heads. That’s it.
I do have an Instagram shared with family and very close friends only with pics on. But nothing on anything else.

I should add, I don’t mind their pic being shared by others (party pics for example) but I ask not to tag me 😊

I keep my child's photos off social media and as part of that it means his name isn't shared. I haven't actively decided not to share his name but this is how it's gone.

I'm really glad we've done it this way as I'd hate it if my parents put my childhood photos on the internet.

We shared our DC's first name and a photo of his little hand when he was born. Hardly anyone knew I was pregnant (a few rounds of IVF) so we wanted to make some kind of announcement.
We share a few photos a year from holidays and that's when he's wearing a hat / side on / from behind.