To ask, if you don’t share your child’s picture on social media…

[FlyingSoap]

Do you still share their name? Just planning what we are going to do after baby arrives. I am reluctant to share baby’s face online but don’t know if this should extend to all personal info about them.

Thoughts welcome either way.

It's one and the same, though.

A child will potentially have feelings about any images shared of them online in the future, and potential employers, or anyone else in their future lives, who may or may not have harmful intentions towards them, could find ways to access those images if they have ever been put online - even if you think they are locked down.

Do you think that the image of your child on meta can't be linked with details about his name, date of birth and school, just because you haven't personally published them all in the same place? There are ways of making these connections. You don't need to spell it out for them.

If there is an image of your child on meta, and an image of your child on his school website, then those two images can be matched via facial recognition, and it is then very easy find out who your child is and what school he is at, and from there, where he lives. They already know you are his parent and your full name, from your profile. They can then match images of you from facebook with you elsewhere on the web. It becomes very easy to build a picture of your entire lives from what you think is limited information. And that information is there forever, so people in his future life will be able to access all of this historically.

Of course you could say "why would they?" - but I'd say why would you give them the chance when you don't need to? You don't know what could happen in the future or what might be going on in your children's lives, or who might be interested in them, for whatever reason.

Meta have already demonstrated how little regard they have for people's rights of ownership over their images, having recently decided to feed everything public into AI training unless people opt out, despite the fact that they don't own any intellectual rights to those images. What they are doing should be illegal and it's only a stones throw away from them grabbing your private photos as well.

People are sorely lacking in awareness around these things.

I just don't know why anyone would take the risk.

Not a jot
my mush is not on SM neither are my kids or grandkids

MN is not indicative of me or my social media at all. Everyone I know and have on SM share their kids and what they are up to, to varying degrees.

I don't overshare, my profiles are private and I enjoy sharing what I'm up to and fun memories.

Questions like this imply the default is (1) having social media (2) sharing private information on it. This is not how I personally live. To me, social media is opt-in. I haven't opted in. My children being exposed, by me, on social media just isn't on the list of things I thought about wrt their upbringing.

I use a nickname for them if i refer to them at all.

I put very little about them on now they are adults and less when they were under 16. They keep their social media fairly private. The family whatsapp and personal messages to friends is different. I don't share much on identifiable social media anyway and mainly use it for hobby related chats

If referring to our kids we use a diminutive version of my husband’s nickname and a number. All his buddies jokingly refer to me as “Mrs $%o” - (knowing full well that I kept my maiden name). So my kids are referred to as “$%o #1, #2, etc…” You could always call them “Thing One” and “Thing Two”, etc…

And? Looking at a pic of a random kid hurts them how? What about child models on clothing sites etc

Another thing I would never put my child off for.

I was waiting to cross the road one weekday last summer, random semi-busy suburban road. A woman was in front of my pushing a child in a pushchair. Next to her was her daughter, probably around 8yo. She was obviously on her way to/from gymnastics class, as she was wearing a sparkly leotard with runners shorts over them, socks and trainers, hair in a tight bun etc. A man came to stand between these three people and me, I was slightly off to the side (and with hindsight, he'd obviously been following them at least a short while). He quickly got out his phone, went to the camera, aimed it at the girl's lower back (exposed, as the leotard was low cut at the back, to just above the waist) and bum, zoomed in to enlarge, took a photo and pocketed the phone.

The girl and her mother knew nothing of it. Lights changed, they crossed and went on their way. It makes me feel nauseous just thinking about it again.

There are men wanking all around the world to lingerie adverts and billboard photos and whatever else. Consenting adults can do whatever they want. But children on in the internet? Nah.

No mention, no photos, no name (unusual surname so I'm extra careful about creating a web presence they haven't chosen), no birth announcement (I'm very private - but if you want to share your joy you can do it without names or photos, just say you're blessed with a DC etc).

Also be mindful re: birthdays and posting details of when you delivered DC as this is big for fraud.

No I don't.

I’ve posted pictures on Facebook when the DD’s were young. the majority of people I know have also posted pictures of their children. To be honest no one actually cares about whether you do or don’t. It’s an individual decision. My girls are older now, one posts a lot on Instagram the youngest not so much. They’ve not made a big deal about about any of the photos I have posted and why would they care if I mentioned their names, there is probably hundreds of people in the uk with the same name.
on another side my youngest has competed at a decent level in a sport, there’s pictures on line of her and if you googled her name it would come up, it would have been a nightmare stopping this and as I said above no one actually cares.

But what would you even say? A post with their face covered up and “Lilly had a great day at the pond” always just screams attention seeker to me - if you don’t want your child on social media, don’t put any part of them up.

Nothing, most of my social media acquaintances will probably have no idea I actually have kids if I haven't spoken to them one to one in a few years

Well I don't agree that it's not save. I think if you do post stuff, they won't thank you for it when they're older and have every right to be pissed off with you about it. I don't share anything about anyone, myself included. Can't imagine it would be that interesting if I did anyway :)

Great attitude. Wish more where like that. Children and have no choice and no privacy when parents keep sharing online.
I know someone whose daughter can't move without a pic being uploaded.
She also posts what her daughter says as well.

Dreadful obsession.

I, like everyone I know tbh, have all the privacy settings on their SM and share photos of my kids. Never undressed/partially clothed, never making fun or moaning about them and nothing embaressing but the odd photo for my family and friends to see. Honestly if my kids were mortified or their friends felt sorry for them (?!) I would be absolutely baffled. I know a couple of people who don't share as their kids were adopted and one who is estranged from her family but otherwise almost everyone posts the odd happy family pic.I am a HCP so keep my settings private and not my full name so patients cant find me anyway.

Absolutely nothing. No announcement of pregnancy or births.

It's the same as a birth announcement in the paper....

No name

No photos

Used to put the odd photo of son on FB, but when he was 8 or 9, he decided he didn't want photos online, so I removed them and haven't posted others, aside from where I have specific permission (things like family Christmases etc).

I do refer to him (by his first name) occasionally, but we do not share a surname, so no future employer will ever find anything - and it is all 'friends only' anyway.

I am on FB only for (the purposes of distant family communications). My account is quite 'locked down'. No pics of me, no pics of my kids. Because I had a disgusting uncle growing up & he is still part of the wider family. I've had relatives (who know why) still want to put pics of my kids on their FB. So picture taking had to be stopped.
My 'kids' are now 17 & 20 & know why. Although I couldn't have known when they were small, my eldest is qualified in cyber security & is extremely glad I've been so circumspect. The younger is considering going into emergency services & is also pleased to be totally anonymous online. There are many times I'd have loved to 'show them off' but it's their lives, not mine, that matter.

most people I know share photos of their kids on FB/instagram. I used to, very occasionally, probably stopped when they were about 11, 8 and 3. The eldest is now 16, I asked her to go through old pictures of her on my FB profile & veto any she wanted hidden, she didn’t object to any of them as far as I remember…

I share very little about my kids online. My 12 year old was very relieved when he realised this as he was worried I shared a lot as some of his friends parents do. I have shared newborn baby photos with first names. I maybe share the odd picture every few months but that's it and it's often with their back to the camera so you can't see there face. I share very little of my life online generally though.

I post a yearly "happy birthday" to them on my Instagram, with a recent photo. That's about it.

There might be one or two other photos that pop up during the year, but I deliberately keep mentions of them to a minimum.