To take all our washing to the launderette once a week to escape the daily washing nightmare?

[head2toeinuniqlo]

A new launderette has opened in our suburb.

We are a family of four. I WFH, around 70 hours per week. I am also responsible for all the cleaning, cooking and washing for the family. The problem with the washing is its sheer relentlessness. Not only that, but none of these lazy fuckers put their clean washing away. It invariably ends up back in the dirty washing hampers and, if a pile of clean clothes is left unattended, our cat will shit on it so it will need re-washing. I am so exhausted and trying to take some of the daily grind off me.

The launderette has captured my imagination. I see it as a possible sanctuary. It is brand new and shiny with loads of machines and places to sit. I am thinking I could drive down on a Saturday morning, chuck all the clothes in the machines, get myself a coffee and a croissant and sit there for a couple of hours in peace, reading a book.

It won't be cheap, but can I justify it?

I have a launderette about 3 mins walk from my house....I am tempted to just take towels and bedlinen etc to dry there rather than having them draped all over the house.

It will become another chore and you'll start resenting lugging all the washing to the launderette while the lazy fuckers enjoy chilling at home.
I'd make the others sort their shit out. And sort out cat shitting as well.

You both work 7 days a week for 10hrs a day or more?
Sounds like enslavement. What quality of life do you have?

It’s unreasonable that you are doing everything in a household of four people. How old are your children? Why do both you and your DH work such an abnormally long working week. With all those hours surely you earn enough to pay someone to take over se of the household tasks that are left to you if your children are young and can’t do some chores to help.

If you and your DH are both working such long hours every day then your kids must be adults or older teens and so should be doing their own laundry at the very least.

How old are your offspring @head2toeinuniqlo?

DH is 47, DS is 20 and DD is 12.

Oh you are being taken for a ride here. I wouldn’t do anything for your 20 year old son, he’s an adult and needs to function like one. That includes cooking, cleaning, hygiene. Any wiser woman than you will soon see he’s not a catch for the future. He’s a lodger, and a non functioning one at that.
The twelve year old needs to learn as well, and sooner rather than later. She needs guidance, teaching how to do some life skills like cooking, basic cleaning, caring for herself and her clothes, putting things away, etc…… get her to do her own washing once a week. If she refuses, do school uniform only and that’s what she lives in. They both need to learn some respect for you, and to contribute towards you all being a family, rather than treating you as a slave.

Heaven is a clean laundrette, smelling of freshly washed clothes

They are taking the piss why?

Change the wifi password each day and they only get it when chores are done. Or just turn the wifi off.

Do people do this?! Surely a family has one laundry basket and it all gets done together doesn’t it?! That’s all I’ve ever known. Intrigued that people might actually only do their own laundry while living with family. Is this the case?

I would try it out but you are still enabling unreasonable behaviour. Your DH & 20 year old are taking the piss. How would they cope on their own? If you weren’t there, they would have to. No matter how many hours they work they would need to have clean clothes.

The 20 year old needs to pull their weight or leave. They could be cooking and doing things for the household, not just themselves. Same with DH.

The 12 year old can sort their laundry and put it away and also contribute on a smaller scale.

if you think about is as a you problem (enabler) you may find you have more power to change things.

lol. I think the cat is stressed about something and might do better in a new home. I say that because I had a cat who would poop next to the litter box rather than in it. Went to a new home and uses the litter box. Turns out she didn’t like my other cat; she wanted to be an only.

It doesn’t like the unequal division of labour at home and is agitating for a change!

No, for me it's getting it dry.

DH is 47, DS is 20 and DD is 12

Fuck. That. Shit.

OP, you need to go absolutely ballistic at your family, they are a bunch of lazy and dirty twats. Have a family "meeting" and sort out who does what and when. Devices, wifi, all priviledges need to be removed unless things get done, including putting clothes away and doing a share of the laundry. Yes, including for the 20yo. He can't behave like this and expect to be treated like a Big Adult when it suits him.

I think outsourcing help is good if it works, but surely laundry will be festering and smelly if it sits around unwashed for days on end. How will you find the time to sit around there waiting for it?

Can you get a behaviorist to give you some good advice about the cat? Hate to say it, but if I had toileting issues that nothing resolved, I would euthanize; cat shit is vile and it's just insanitary if it ends up around the house again and again.

Just stop doing all their washing. I did my own washing from year 6. Problem solved.

Do you both own businesses to be working that many hours? if you seriously both work that many hours you have no life whatsoever and if you are renting and don’t even have a property you own, what are you working towards? It’s not even for security for the future.

The launderette is a drop in the ocean to the challenges you have. What you need is a complete rethink and a family meeting to reset.

• Work hours - no employer would/could enforce those sorts of hours so if you are the employer, you need to readjust and both give yourselves at least one day off
• I never really understand the idea of a cleaner once a fortnight as the house gets dirty weekly - can you up the cleaner to weekly? If you are planning to spend on laundry, I would use the money on this - maybe laundry can be part of their duties?
• Re tidying for the cleaner, that needs to be everyone’s job. When we had a cleaner, all members of the family were tasked with prepping for cleaner the night before Putting laundry away needs to be part of that.
• Re clean laundry, you need a room that you keep the door shut and cats out where the laundry sits until it’s collected,.
• Your kids need to be assigned chores. Does dd get pocket money? No pocket money if chores are not done. Mine are responsible for dishwasher loading/unloading, setting/clearing dinner table, changing their bed sheets, tiding/dusting their bedroom weekly and putting their clean laundry away but you tailor the jobs to what helps you the most
• Is ds working and paying you rent or studying? Either way, to live with you, he needs to understand that he pulls his weight.

Please take a step back and ask yourself if this is the life you want to be living and make some serious changes

Good luck!

Op, I think your biggest problem is the cat.

How so? If the cat is removed, OP is still doing 100% of all chores, kids' rooms are still a tip, husband is still not doing his share and laundry is still not being put away.

@catza I’d rather have all of the above than a cat pooping on the laundry, anyplace in the house, anyday of the week. It’s filthy.

I've recently bought 6 new laundry baskets and written the kids names on theirs. Dry laundry goes into the named basket from the line/dryer/rack and has to be taken straight upstairs and put away. We're still working on socks though.

Dh and I both work full time 70+hours a week between us.

At the age of your kids, they NEED to be helping out around the house. They're not too old or young to be shown how to use the washing machine. Our 12yo's aren't confident in loading/setting it running without questions but the 14 and 16 yo will. The little ones then unload and hang out. We all fold and separate so no one should argue over their siblings wearing their clothes. We're in early days with a few blips but the individual basket system has very much minimised that and helps our neurodivergent kids organise themselves.

They have a wash basket in their room and there's 1 in our bathroom. If it's not in the basket, it doesn't get washed. If it's clearly clean, it gets taken back out of the basket. Like yours, my youngest 3 went through a stage of tidying their room by throwing the 'floordrobe' clothes back in the basket because it was quicker than putting in away.

Her family is filthy. At least the cat only needs its shit cleared up once and the cooking consists of opening a tin twice a day. My cat did have a few accidents before he died and I hated it. But not as much as I hate my partner's shoes being left wherever he takes them off and my kid leaving half empty water glasses on every surface.