Aibu to be offended about my grey hair

[Liglig]

A friend randomly left a voicemail on my phone after I missed their call asking if I would like to come to their house to have my hair coloured.

I have never ever mentioned my grey hair being a problem, I am getting so have brown hair with grey strands.

I kind of feel offended like they are indirectly telling me I look old or look bad. Another person also suggested I dye my hair last year, I never asked their opinion so now it's giving me a complex.

I don't particularly like my grey hair but am prepared to embrace it, I can't deal with the dying hair plus I am not at ease with the chemicals in the dye, I already have very thin hair and cancer is high in my family I think dye would be no good for me for those reasons alone anyway.

Should I be offended, I can't help but feel insulted a bit, deep down they probably mean well but still why do people feel the need to tell me to alter something that was not my choice 😞

thanks
It's a bit salt and pepper at the back, but I can't see that bit 😂

I don't dye my hair. I'm mid brown chocolate colour with about 25% silver.

I actually find it very sad that so many women feel the need to dye their hair. Sure, there are a good few that enjoy experimenting with colour. That's also fine. But I'm also sure there are many women turning to the box dye as they feel it's the socially acceptable thing to do.

I wonder why men don't feel the need to do it. Well I do actually. Ingrained misogyny that we seem to have accepted.

OP - I'd be annoyed at the suggestion if I were you. If you feel there is no malice behind it you are probably best to drop it. But I'd keep it in the memory bank!

It was a direct come to my house if you want your hair coloured is exactly what she said. So very direct and came out of nowhere which took me aback

Thank you 🥰

Thank you I won't make a fuss about it for sure, I've not replied yet but will just say I'm embracing my greys and hopefully that will be that.

Thank you all for your replies and input, it really helped.

Ah ignore it cheeky buggers. I am 38 and I'd say a good 40-50% grey now with mid length wavy hair. Never ever felt inclined to dye it. Can't be arsed, too expensive and general upkeep once you start! I'm growing old gracefully 😁 have had a few people ask if I will dye it the past few years but I just respond with a confident "nope" and it's not bought back up.

Btw also don't care if people DO dye their hair, that's fine.

I bet this friend is not perfect herself!

Give her a Weightwatchers cookbook and invite her to a Botox party 😂

BTW, people don’t expect men to dye their hair as it greys or to wear a wig if they go bald! Don’t indulge this sexist shit!!!

Gotta let these things go and just be happy with how you see yourself.

If chemicals are a problem and you would like to dye your hair, look into henna. I use it for the same reason you mentioned and it actually strengthens and thickens the hair too

Don’t let how others perceive you affect how you perceive yourself. That leads to a dark dark place.

Your friend is projecting her low self worth and greys on to you. She is probably amazed at your confidence if you really dug into it with her. Be happy x

This is bollocks.

It's all just conditioning.

And grey hair can be so beautiful. I’m loving the ladies who are using it to their advantage, what could be more stunning than beautiful shades of grey, silver and white. Like an ice crown 👑

I would be offended too but would enthusiastically say, “No way I love my grey!” Even if you don’t. I do however happen to love mine as I’m more than half grey but it blends in so well hardly anyone can tell I have any grey at all. Well except my hairdresser who just wants the money honestly. The more enthusiastic you are about it believe me the more people will be too. Tom Sawyer and all that.

Pretty out of order but they just may not be as informed as you. Why should women be ashamed of going grey? Why should we pump chemicals into ourselves for the pleasure of others? I am with you 100%, nothing worse than a lawer of grey under dyed hair. Keep it natural, grow old gracefully.

I am in a similar situation. Women are rude! But tbh I am happy with my clean shiny hair and wrinkle free face. Why would anyone want to put chemicals on their head every few weeks?
Be confident, be healthy, be happy!

Are you sure the voicemail was meant for you and not a mistake and she called the wrong person?

I'd say how about you come to mine and I'll sort your make up out?
if they then say you're being rude ask why it's ok for them to insult your appearance but not the other way around

Just text her saying no thanks, I'm embracing the grey! I think it was a bit rude of her to be honest.

I'm 53, stopped dyeing my hair during lockdown and now it's all grey - I like it and if others don't, that's fine. It's not really anyone else's business!

Should you be offended? Are you actually going to base a decision on peoples feedback?

You sound a little bit paranoid. People have offered to dye my hair. For fun or practice. I dont have grey hair.

Well if I am totally honest I was offended but also started thinking to myself was I being too sensitive so it was interesting to see how others would have responded in my situation hence the reason I posted, to get other people's perspective.

I don't think it was for someone else, but never thought of that before, I no longer have the voicemail so can't remember if she said my actual name. I have seen her in person since and she has not mentioned the hair dye call oddly enough, but saying that I didn't reply to the voicemail in the end so maybe she realised she may have offended me. I guess there could be. A very small chance it was sent to wrong person, hard to know but she does love her wine a lot lol 😆