Do most people with fertility problems go on to have a baby eventually

[nappyvalley1992]

Anecdotally and from what I read it seems that most couples with fertility problems go on to have their own biological children at some point.

IVF seems to have a really high success rate if people have more than 1 round. Of all my friends that have had fertility problems all eventually got their desired child. You always seem to hear of miracle babies of couples who are told they would never be able to have children. I very rarely hear of couples of a younger generation that had fertility issues and didn't get what they wanted in the end, even if it does take around 10 years to achieve.

It depends on circumstance. If you’ve got time on your side, endless money and it doesn’t break you mentally then you can try IVF multiple times.

IVF seems to have a really high success rate if people have more than 1 round.
I’ve just looked the stats up: 66% after 6 or more cycles, under the age of 40. So pretty much what I originally said. 6 cycles is absolutely brutal so I’m sure many stop before then.

I would argue no. You know about the ones who have been successful, there will be many more who haven't and have suffered in silence. People don't announce on social media that they aren't going to be parents like they do with pregnancy announcements.

I know two couples off the top of my head that haven't yet been able to conceive naturally or with ivf. Been trying for 5-8 years, and it gets harder with age. I had ivf at 27 and conceived 1st time. I think age was on my side and I was lucky to have met my dh by then.

I never conceived. Started ttc at 29, multiple IVF attempts.

I agree with pp that you just don’t hear about the ones it doesn’t work for.

I think the people who can't have kids and never get their baby are the ones who don't talk about it for obvious reasons

I'm categorically infertile but I'm in a workplace infertility group which has a lot of members (albeit a few with secondary infertility). Success stories tend to reach more people because they're essentially hopeful, and nobody wants to hear that they might end up like someone who didn't get their 'rainbow baby', so those people don't tend to talk about their realities.

Most of my friends who did IVF were not successful, I can think of only one who was and she nearly bankrupted herself to do so many rounds.

In my experience it's the opposite. We adopted so I know loads of adoptive parents who never concieved.
Out of my non adoptive friend group. One couple had a baby after 8 rounds of IVF.
One couple tried IVF, 2 miscaarages and then stopped trying. No baby.

In all honestly I don’t know. For every success story I see shared online I see 1000s of comments of women still waiting for their time.

A close family friend had countless rounds before she gave up 😔

I know a number of couples who haven’t been able to have children because of infertility, but ivf isn’t an option for most people I know.

It seems to be roughly 2/3 are successful in the end if they try multiple rounds from the statistics available. That has rung true anecdotally in my social circle. Obviously the scary thing is not knowing if you will be the 1 in 3 who never succeed. It always terrified me and it's very upsetting seeing friends be the 1 in 3 now we have our baby.

I know of several couples who had a first child either naturally or through IVF but then couldn’t conceive a second, either secondary infertility or IVF didn’t work again. I’d guess that increased age was a factor there.

Obviously not the same as not having any children at all, and perhaps they stopped trying sooner than if they hadn’t already had a child, but still lots of examples where there was no happy ending.

Age matters so, so much here.

IVF for the over 40s - specifically over 42 - with fertility issues is essentially a modern day scam, with pitifully low live birth rates (lost of stats stress the pregnancies achieved, not actual births). I've seen many friends think they have 'loads of time' as IVF is seen as a bit of a back up, but it's really only useful to women under 35. The last stats on live births on IVF for women 40-42 was 10%, 42-45 years it's less than 4%, over 45 it's less than 1%.

I wanted 3 children.

I had constant issues with miscarriages. Early, mid way and very late miscarriages.
The final straw was when I fell pregnant with triplets and lost them at 19 weeks that's when we gave up and said enough.

I do have two boys between 18 losses though.
You don't hear about it because these people tend to keep it to themselves or have accepted it is what it is.

Anyone can have a baby if they have enough money and are willing to have a child that is not biologically related. Embryo donation and surrogacy are options available to the v wealthy and will eventually result in a baby.

But if you don't have money to fund multiple IVF rounds and alternative means of conception, and if you only want to have a child from your and your partner's genetic material, then it's another story. Age, the reason for your infertility, and what you are prepared to fund will all come into it. If you are under 30 it's a completely different ball game to being 40+.

I went through 9 rounds of IVF and multiple losses before eventually bringing home my twins. I don't know if I count as an IVF success story because the clinics like to say that most couples under 40 will have a baby within 3 cycles of IVF.

Whilst I wouldn't change a thing now, I look back at the impact on my mental health this all had and I wouldn't wish it on anybody, there are just no guarantees.

I know many couples who ended up adopting, going down the surrogacy route or decided to remain childless because fertility treatment is emotionally, physically and financially crippling.

Four embryo transfers. The first was a negative but the next three were positives and I have two children. I think as long as you get the recommended three rounds then you should have some success. That obviously depends on age etc. My BIL wasn't successful with IVF. Interestingly it took ten years and several losses before my father in law was born in 1930 so eventually they had luck.

I think yes but many of those will have had to go through multiple rounds of IVF so it takes huge perseverance, toll on physical and mental health and of course needing the money to do it. It's no surprise that lots don't go on to do multiple rounds.

I was early thirties, my DH early forties.

We had 8 rounds of IVF, we only had 1 'successful' cycle which resulted in a miscarriage at 8 weeks. We never managed to have a child. It was the most gruelling emotional rollercoaster I've ever been on. But it's not something I talk about to anyone except occasionally with dh.

I'm 44 now and dh is older so we've accepted that it will never happen for us.

I had many rounds of IVF (many failed attempts, 3 x miscarriage and stillborn baby)

We finally had our most longed for baby 10 years after we first started trying and it cost us almost £35k.

On our journey we met lots of different couples, some who are were successful, some who are still going through the IVF process and some who have stopped treatment without being successful.

We did get our miracle baby but the 10 years of tests, invasive treatments and heartbreak took its toll over the years. I would not wish it on my worst enemy and we both still feel the sadness/ fear/ anxiety that infertility can bring.

Like other people have said you only really her the stories with positive outcomes. Many people suffer the heartbreak in silence.

You also hear loads of stories of people for whom IVF didn’t work but got pregnant naturally in the end. I don’t think I really let go of the hope until I was late 40s and menopausal.

You could watch that IVF programme on W catch up. Forgotten her name but some manage to be successful but some don't. I think more didn't.

As someone who struggled with infertility for years, underwent 10 failed cycles of IVF then somehow did get pregnant in the end (naturally) I have been one of the "lucky" ones (i am grateful but do not consider myself lucky given what we went through). However for every story /anecdote you hear about IVF success, miracle surprise babies etc. there are countless stories of those who unfortunately never got to bring a living child home. They're just not spoken about so we don't know about them. So I don't agree unfortunately that most people end up with a baby anyway.

I didn't. Started trying at 36 (only met my partner at 34), and had two miscarriages, and an ectopic pregnancy, which resulted in me losing a Fallopian tube. After that, we tried for a further 6 years, including fertility drugs, and 4 rounds of IVF. I got pregnant once, and had a miscarriage at 7 weeks.
It broke us, and the relationship ended due to the stress of it all.

I'm now 47, single and childless. I've filled my life in other ways, and am happy - but I would have liked the picture I had in my head of what my family would look like.

no...

we are about to try double donation but there are no guarantees. I'm terrified of undergoing the medical procedures and costs, getting our hopes up and it not working. I'm not sure how our relationship will survive if it doesn't work tbh.