Do most people with fertility problems go on to have a baby eventually

[nappyvalley1992]

Anecdotally and from what I read it seems that most couples with fertility problems go on to have their own biological children at some point.

IVF seems to have a really high success rate if people have more than 1 round. Of all my friends that have had fertility problems all eventually got their desired child. You always seem to hear of miracle babies of couples who are told they would never be able to have children. I very rarely hear of couples of a younger generation that had fertility issues and didn't get what they wanted in the end, even if it does take around 10 years to achieve.

We went through years of trying and failing then IVF. Conceived DS on our third cycle (third full, fresh cycle - egg collection, the full works each time) and then trying for our DD discovered I had endometriosis, went through surgery to remove it, then failed IVF, then conceived naturally.

Made lots of friends along the way through large mumsnet then instagram community. I would say most of the couples eventually conceived via IVF - whether that was own eggs/sperm or donor. It was a minority in my experience who never did, or had children via another route.

It's a brutal journey and my heart goes out to anyone who is one it 💙

No. I think you're very, very wrong. Of course you're aware of the ones it's wotked for.

All the people who I know who suffered with infertility have children now. Some took many year and very many tears though.

I have 4 close friends who have struggled with infertility. Two conceived after 3 years of trying with medication (they weren't on the medication for all 3 years and I can't remember what it was but they both have PCOS). One conceived on their 4th round of IVF and was able to carry with progesterone.

The other was able to conceive but not carry (never attempted IVF) and it eventually ruined her marriage after 6 miscarriages. The infertility was 'unexplained'.

I don't mean this flippantly but have you googled or used some sort of AI to answer this for you? That might provide links to a peer reviewed paper which will give actual facts and figures. Individuals answering based on their circles isn't going to help as there's all sorts of factors that might make that an unrepresentative sample.

We started TTC when we were 34. Six years later we gave up. We realised it was never going to happen, even with medical intervention. Sometimes you just know.

Like @HollaHolla I'm now late 40s, single and childless.

Sometimes you don't get what you want.

I think involuntary childlessness is still quite a taboo subject, and no-one really wants to hear our stories.

2 rounds of IVF for me was enough, as results were so poor and after years of trying the naturall way, that was all I could take.(I was 40, husband older). Was advised that a 3rd round of ivf, that so many of the success stats are based on, would not likely result in better production of quality eggs, and that egg donation was our best chance of a child.

For us, that wasn't an acceptable option, my boundary was always "Biology or bust!"
So we walked away without a child. Who knows, maybe if we'd started sooner things would have been different but circumstances were what they were. I have a good life and although the childlessness will always sting, at this stage I've accepted it and learned to love with it. Some days I'm even grateful to be childfree.

No I don't think they do.

I spent fifteen years in this bracket, adopted and then had two.

I still jar every time I hear a pregnancy announcement and I crumble at the misuse of infertility.

The examples on this thread are heartbreaking and real.

But I would suspect that if your entire friendship circle had issues there is a misuse or misleading message.

One early miscarriage is not infertility. Taking longer to fall pregnant is not infertility.

It's a very personal and crippling condition and I do think early pregnancy detection adds to the "infertility" bandwagon.

Dodgy tests, evaporating lines, etc.

im 43 and have severe PCOS and has never seen a period ever
i was diagnosed at 17 as infertil
but somehow i have 2 kids without ivf
both pregnancies were tried for

i got with my only partner a few months off 19 but we never used contraception as were each others firsts and as i was told i was infertile anyway there was no need

1st i conceived naturally at 22

2nd was clomid tablets(even though i had no periods)so to a certain extent still naturally, i was 29

we was going to try for another at 40 but he left us and i haven't been with any one else since

i would still love another i just need sperm

Sadly not the case in my experience.

IVF isn't even an option for me and I know at least one other person in the same position. I'm sure there are many others.

I would estimate less than 50% are eventually successful. know a few success stories on first attempt and some after multiple. Two friends in particular seemed to improve each cycle, more eggs, longer folicals etc.

My favourite case is a couple I know who concieved naturally after giving up on IVF after 6 rounds. I've never seen any couple happier.

No I just think you don't exactly go around telling ppl.

I know quite a few that didn't have their own children. Someone I work with tried for years with lots of unsuccessful Ivf etc, eventually gave up and then split from her husband when she was early 40's.
Another had tried quite late on and eventually went on to adopt when she was mid 40's.
A friend that tried but didn't have treatments, decided they didn't want to go down that route.

I have 3 sets of friends that struggled to have children and who ended up having a baby (& in one case twins) through IVF. Happy endings, really pleased for them. So I have to say I was rather blasé when a family member struggled and assumed naively that with interventions they would become parents. They conceived naturally initially and after early miscarriages went through IVF. They tried everything, best specialists, got in peak shape, ate healthily, didn’t drink. Had it hanging over them for years that maybe they’d be expecting a baby so not to book events etc. After spending thousands & thousands & going through multiple devastating disappointments they have reached the end of the road and don’t have children. It can be brutal and I know now that yes science has helped some people become parents but it won’t be the solution for everyone.

I now realise it’s one of the hardest life journeys anyone can go through & that life can be so terribly unfair 💐

My friend did 3 rounds , 50k spent and no joy at all , not even a line. Her husband is totally sterile so not even the hope of a fluke natural conception. She's heart broken and is amazing with children. It's very hard for her but she can't afford anymore ivf and just has to live with that baby shaped hole in her heart.

I did. I fell pregnant with ds easily and we started trying again when ds was 6 months old. It took us 8 years to fall pregnant with dd.

So not infertile then?

No, I don’t think so. My 2 friends with ‘unexplained’ fertility problems have never had children, now mid 40’s.

My own parents had fertility problems, then had 2 children, which I thought meant that it was possible for my friends. However I then found out that I was donor conceived, which felt so cruel as I feel like I gave my friends false hope. (Not to mention the emotional fall out of the discovery).

@WestwardHo1 I think it depends on which definition of infertility you're going by.

The World Health Organization defines infertility as "the failure to achieve a pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse."

The British Fertility Society defines it as "Infertility (often called subfertility) is a disease of the reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sex (without contraception) between a man and a woman."

Whereas the NHS infertility page simply defines it as "Infertility is when a couple cannot get pregnant (conceive) despite having regular unprotected sex."

So there's some disparity there.

In 2019, the percentage of IVF treatments that resulted in a baby was 32% for women under 35, but only 4% for women over 44.

So if we call it on average 25% or 1 in 4, that means on average the number of people who are successful once with 3 tries is about (1/4 + 3/16+ 9/64 = ) 37/64 which is about 57% if it's the same chance of getting pregnant each time.
However there will be people for whom the same reason stops them from getting pregnant each time, so I'd guess for younger ladies who do three attempts at IVF it's probably close on 50/50.

The thing is though people tend to talk about it if they have done IVF and been successful. Or the miracle story of IVF not being successful then having one naturally.
My experience says that people who are trying often keep it quiet to a point where they will deride any possibility that they want children, probably to stop any questions. The people that I know who have tried and it not worked both make comments of never wanting/delighted not to have children.
So if someone is saying that, please do be tactful, and just nod and accept it. Don't start probing because they may be saying that to protect themselves.

Those stats are pretty sobering @nappyvalley1992 I agree in the main people only hear about successes by IVF so you assume it’s more successful than it really is.

Tried for a few years and nothing. Ivf 1 was a mc as was frozen round. 2nd ivf was 1 baby, 1 mc and ivf 3 was so bad, we lost all our embryos except 1. Luckily that 1 was the one that worked. Then after 'relaxing', and not ttc and enjoying our family, number 3 unexpectedly turned up.
It's certainly a hard slog but in our case we had a 2/5 success rate.