What do you spend child maintenance on?

[kungfullama]

My ex and I have a reasonable arrangement for maintenance payments for our dc. Never been through CSA/CMA.

His monthly payments go into a separate account to my current account and for a long time I just left it alone, hoping to let it save up for when ds gets older and there are big costs likes cars and university if he wants to go.

I always managed to cover the day to day costs by myself. Utilities, food etc. But as he's getting older he's eating a lot more and generally costing a lot more with socialising and activities. Now I find myself dipping into the maintenance savings a lot more. If he needs anything in particular - shoes, winter clothing, school transport I tend to dip into it. But then I feel bad because it feels like I'm not paying for any of these additional items. His dad is.

But then he lives with me 80% of the time so I suppose my food and day to day costs are more. Just interested in how other people work it out.

Living. He paid a pitiful amount as he conned the CSA. Then always played the Disney Dad.

Just goes in to my family pot

so mortgage, holidays, groceries, what i buy for the children, what i buy for myself, the car….

basically i have no idea because it just goes in, and then goes out!

Very wealthy ex and i receive substantial maintenance

I just added it to the general pot and spent it on what was needed.
Sometimes bills, sometimes fun, sometimes school uniform etc. The last few years paid for driving lessons

Goes into my account and is absorbed into all general household expenses. I cover all food, clothes, pocket money, school expenses etc. he has them 4 nights a month.

I've probably made it more complicated for myself by putting it in a separate account.

how so?

Ate you in receipt of any benefits?

@traybake81 no I'm not. I just have this feeling that any money for ds should be for ds. So if it's going into the family pot which is spent on my other dc it's harder to keep track of.

General living. Although I do try to get something just for her or a day out, cinema trip etc out of it as it's technically her money, but living expenses are also for her benefit so I think it's all fair either way.

school uniform
school monthly fee
food
bills
her trips out & school excursions
school ipad/books
transport (bus)
clothes
tampax
phone
cosmetics
presents

every bloody thing

I pay around 1/4 but have full custody and do 100% everything and have done for years and years until I divorced the shit as he locked us out of our home.

I'm not sure how it could be separated out. Your DS eats, is housed, educated,entertained and fed from the family pot so it seems right that cm is included in that pot.

Living. I get £341 for two chidren, that doesn’t even cover the food bill for them.

Goes into the costs for the month.
CM isn’t specifically for things for the child- it’s a reimbursement of day to day costs that are associated with having a child. Higher bills, food shop clothes etc

Mine goes in the general pot but there are only two of us.
Having it separate is fine but you should be using it to help pay for whatever DS needs now, not having him go without. It doesn't matter if you use the money his dad gives you for it because it evens out with the money you spend on his day-to-day needs, his food, water, electricity, any subscriptions, fuel in your car to cart him around etc.

I suspect it's very unusual to badge the money for something specific, doesn't everyone just have it as part of their total money and spend it on living costs?

Maintenance goes into my current account and covers costs like barber, contact lense subscription, clothes, food…

It’s towards his living fists during the time he is with you. It’s not meant for a car or uni. Totally fine if that’s what you want to do, and can afford to save up. But it’s “for” just general living/bills/clothing/food/school supplies etc. should just go into the family budget.

This

Hmm I don’t know, I get £1.75 a week for each of my children so a packet of crisps a week?

general living costs, rent, bill, food, clothes

benefits are not impacted by maintenance as so few nrp's pay the amount the should regularly

I do not have this issue and really feel for single parents (usually mums) that do

It goes straight into my bank account and straight out of my account when I do a food shop, buy them clothes or whatever the hell I need it for

Groceries. Doesn't cover uniform, school trips, days out, clubs, nowt else. At least it covers food though.

My ds doesn't go without anything.
I keep it separate because it's his dad paying for him. Nothing to do with my other dc who are mine and dh responsibility to support.

My ex pays very little as he doesn't "have to". Any unreliable money I do get I try and put in a separate account and save it for specifics the kids really need, like a new coat or at the moment I've got a whole £84 saved towards Christmas. I can't depend on it so I don't wait for it to spend it on everyday costs.

I never got maintenance. My ex went abroad so he didn't have to pay it. I had DS 100% court ordered.
It didn't bother me. I had my own home and a decent career and I'm a good mum.
He's just a total deadbeat.

So what if his dad s contribution is buying his trainers? So he should
Just use the money as needed. Stop worrying. If he has less later, so be it. No point a car later if his trainers have holes in now