Found out we are nearly broke -

[Pollss]

I thought we were doing well but DH told me we are almost broke.

We are mid 40s & 2 kids in primary school.

Joint gross income is £68k.

We have £190k outstanding on the mortgage on a house worth £525k

We have about £15k in savings and DH has £10 company shares. The children have about £5k each in their ISAs.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

DH doesn't talk to me about our finances because it usually ends in bickering. I was hoping to move to a larger house as our current one is too small but £525k gets you nothing in London.

what can i do to improve our finance situation

@Pollss try using an app/account like HyperJar, at the start of the month move money into each jar ie: kids days out, coffee, nails, meal out etc. then spend to each jar for the month. I also use it to put away a bit each month for Christmas, house insurance, holidays etc

You are not broke, far from it! You're doing well for a couple in their forties with two children.

Well, the isa's for the children and the equity in the home isn't money that you can put your hand on day to day. It's feasible, if the op is talking about hundreds of £50 purchases at say, 28% Apr, that between their savings and debts they have frittered all their money away. Which, if you were going to apply for a mortgage, simply wouldn't work.

But then you would probably post in money and you'd still avoid emotive words like broke - you wouldn't get the kind of attention and outrage engineered for sport here.

Honestly, I feel very sorry for your husband. He’s clearly having to do all the budgeting and fair play to him; you have a pretty good financial basis (which is why people are saying you are not broke).

but it must be frustrating and probably quite lonely to be the only one in the family who is doing all of that budgeting work, with a wife who spends hundreds a month on non essentials and yet is putting pressure on to get a bigger house.

op, if you do really want to change your lifestyle, start by taking the savings out of your bank the day you get paid. And maybe now is a good time to sit down with your husband and calmly (without emotion) jointly decide on a budget that will fit your goals?

Are you taking the piss? In what possible world is this 'nearly broke'?
You have a decent income, substantial equity in your home, a good savings cushion, investments for your children, and can presumably pay all your bills, given you don't mention struggling in any way. And you've managed all this despite, on your own admission, frittering huge amounts of money away, to the point where your husband avoids discussing finances with you, and has had to make the point by presenting you with the actual evidence of your spending habits.
You really need to grow up and take some responsibility for your own finances. And maybe have a think about what 'broke' actually means for most people who use that word.

You "thought" you were in a much better financial position? But your DH "handed" you 6 months of these credit card statements and you were surprised at the contents - so you don't keep any track of what you're spending?! And you use credit cards for daily purchases - so presumably you're living beyond your means?

Clearly the answer is simply to actually think about and understand your finances.

Write down your monthly income and expenditure. Work out a budget. Get rid of credit cards so you're only spending what you have. Stop frittering money away without thinking. If you have goals like a bigger house / mortgage, work out where you can make savings to afford it.

Blimey I thought you were going to say that everything had gone on a bad investment or gambling or that your DH had lost your job and not told you.

But plenty of equity in your house, a family total of £25 in savings and a good joint income is no where near nearly broke. I don't think you're reading the room here OP there are people who are in the last tenner of their overdraft and on minimum wages and that's only one example. Macdonalds and trips to the cinema are simply not on their radar.

Don't we have the higher earners' board yet?

"Nearly broke" - what a joke!!!

In that case so am I - widowed and living on small pensions (OH had to leave pension scheme at 42 because of ill health).

But I consider myself lucky, live within my means and treat the GC whenever I can. Be grateful for what you have.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

You really need to wise up! I'd be furious if my parter were so clueless.

You need to stop the meaningless purchases that don't bring that much extra to your life but add up to a lot. That's subjective to an extent as we all prioritise differently, but the point is, before spending think: Do I really need/want this? Is there a no spend or cheaper alternative? Do I need it now, or can it wait? Try to challenge yourself to have some no spend at all days. See what that does to your budget after a month.

The best way for your DH to improve his financial position is to divorce you, now, so he has time to recoup his losses and build a secure and comfortable future for himself and your children, before he retires, without you squandering his income as well as your own on utter crap wholly unnecessary fripperies while whining about how entitled to more 'broke' you are.

@Pollss when was the last time you had your nails done?? or a facial at the salon??? you admit that you are a spender!! coffee alone is 1000% mark up!!! take packed lunches and a flask. stop wasting money on rubbish!

You have £15,000 in savings, you’re not almost broke. Most people in this country are a payday away from being broke. You can start reducing your outgoings - take your own cinema snacks etc to avoid it being £50 a time - but respectfully, get a grip.

That's not broke at all is it though....

I don't understand how you don't know what's happening with your own finances?

You have no idea what broke is, get a a grip

Christ, read the room!!
A vast majority of the population live month to month and you're wingeing, off you fuck!

🤣🤣🤣

Ok. You have a good income, very good equity in your property and a decent rainy day savings pot.

That is not broke, don't be a twat.

What you don't have is the type of income that allows you to spend thoughtlessly on non essential purchases.

Our situation is pretty similar to yours - our household income and savings are a bit higher, but our property is worth a bit less. It is more than enough to live securely and comfortably, but not enough for unrestricted spending.

We take lunch in to work, are mindful of expenses like takeaway coffee and meals out and carefully plan any larger expenses like holidays and home improvements. For example we saved up Nectar points for a couple of years to fund buying a new hoover.

I'll be working way past retirement as can't afford not to.
Working people use food banks.
Good grief. Broke.

Steps you can take right now to improve your financial situation...

(1) Be more mindful about your "pointless" purchases; you've admitted you are the "spender".
(2) Stop "bickering" at DH when he tells you that you're clearly overspending.
(3) Use your dream of a larger house as motivation to change your spending habits.

The hardest part of dealing with any problem is admitting you have one and asking for help. So, WD for realising that. We're all different and have different circumstances. It doesn't matter that some people wouldn't consider your situation to be a problem for them. This is a problem for you.

There are lots of different strategies for controlling impulse spending. Google some and decide what would work best for you. For example, some people create their own spending barrier by making it harder to access their money, e.g., only carrying a small amount of physical cash and leaving their cards at home.

Pay off the credit card bill and set a monthly budget which includes pots for days out, coffees, birthdays etc.
Stick to that and don't use the cc except in case of dire emergency.

You're living beyond your means at the moment but you aren't in any kind of financial trouble and you can get into good habits now.

I used to be a bit like this - spending blindly, always thinking there was a never ending pot of spare cash, or that the credit card didn't count somehow. Check and note every transaction - you will think a lot harder before spending £4 on a random coffee 😊

Yet another bitchplop and run OP.
what is it with all these goady one hit wonder posters on here at the moment