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AIBU?

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Original poster

Found out we are nearly broke -

451 replies

Pollss · 15/10/2024 08:21

I thought we were doing well but DH told me we are almost broke.

We are mid 40s & 2 kids in primary school.

Joint gross income is £68k.

We have £190k outstanding on the mortgage on a house worth £525k

We have about £15k in savings and DH has £10 company shares. The children have about £5k each in their ISAs.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

DH doesn't talk to me about our finances because it usually ends in bickering. I was hoping to move to a larger house as our current one is too small but £525k gets you nothing in London.

what can i do to improve our finance situation

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 15/10/2024 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SallyWD · 15/10/2024 08:43

doodleschnoodle · 15/10/2024 08:27

OP, do you really think that £350k or so in equity and £15k in your savings plus £5k for each of your children is 'broke'? Genuine question, can you not see how people might find that slightly ridiculous?

Indeed!

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 15/10/2024 08:44

RobinHood19 · 15/10/2024 08:28

OP, you’ve lived a very privileged life if you think owning half your house and having £25k in savings means you’re “broke”.

Broke is not being able to pay bills or struggling to get the food shop under £40 for the week because that’s all you have to feed yourself.

You can start being more careful with money, limit leisure spends, make a budget and track outgoings. These are all great ideas regardless of financial situation.

But please don’t patronise genuinely poor people by saying you’re “nearly broke”, when you have cash in the bank for emergencies. That’s literally the opposite definition of being broke.

Regards,
Someone who was genuinely broke for years and wouldn’t dare use that term nowadays I’m in full-time employment and able to comfortable pay my bills and buy my food.

Edited

Absolutely this. I am actually embarrassed for you and your ridiculous tone deaf post

Haggia · 15/10/2024 08:44
Schitts Creek Yes GIF by CBC

.

senua · 15/10/2024 08:44

DH doesn't talk to me about our finances because it usually ends in bickering.
This is probably why the DH has used the phrase "nearly broke". He has gently suggested, OP has ignored and carried on spending, he has dropped an apparent bombshell and now OP is finally listening.

FilthyRich · 15/10/2024 08:44

Have you tried claiming benefit and visiting a food bank, @Pollss ?

offyoujollywelltrot · 15/10/2024 08:44
foam zone GIF by Old Spice

HOLD ON WE'VE GOT A FROTHER

chipsewfast · 15/10/2024 08:46

Take some responsibility. Your poor husband

DuhanDuhan · 15/10/2024 08:46

Are you mentally classing your outstanding mortgage as the same kind of debt as credit card debt?

coffeesaveslives · 15/10/2024 08:47

How on earth are you broke? 😂

neverstartingstory · 15/10/2024 08:47

Sarahconnor1 · 15/10/2024 08:27

You might not be in the financial position you would like to be in, but you are not nearly broke.

what can i do to improve our finance situation

Stop the 100s of pointless transactions

This.

Surely this is a pisstake post?

If not, sort out the pity party, stop the unnecessary spend and get saving.

You are not exactly trapped in a situation you can’t control here!

Get over yourself, has never seemed so apt a phrase.

BlastedPimples · 15/10/2024 08:47

Is this a joke?

Sansan18 · 15/10/2024 08:48

Broke for me was having to pay my mortgage using transfers from two credit cards after my partner died leaving me penniless but still responsible for paying for his funeral.
A small legacy of 10k has changed my life to an extent the op probably couldn't believe.

Silvertulips · 15/10/2024 08:48

DH was always the spender and turned it round when we’ve had a shared goal - either moving house or new car (well secondhand)

You can track your finances, get a second job, look at promotion, stop paying for stuff you don’t need - take a picnic - take your own coffee - have movie nights at home -

As a family we’ve been to the pictures a handful of times, usually the cheap day time ones, we went to council run play centres - just as good fun was had.

But you have to change - make a game of it and check your account all the time.

ConstanceM · 15/10/2024 08:48

Broke! Can mean different things to different people. If she feels overwhelmed and feels skint who are we to judge. Some people have no money and mozzy on along, some (as in this case) have money but still feel there heads are just above water. Solutions are obvious, cut the excessive coffee shops and cinemas are a rip off anyway. Wait till it comes on streaming services. All these treats are ok once in a while but not for credit card ping pong..you and hubby should talk money more.

Snowfalling · 15/10/2024 08:48

Hoglet70 · 15/10/2024 08:23

I am absolutely laughing my head off at this being 'nearly broke'.

me too!

thanks @Pollss this has really cheered me up

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 15/10/2024 08:48

Bugger off. Come back when you have real issues.

BeeDavis · 15/10/2024 08:48

Why are you putting silly transactions like that on a credit card?! Madness.

Cattery · 15/10/2024 08:49

Have you ever met anyone who is “broke” OP? Having to make a decision whether to buy bread or milk. Queueing at a food bank. Unable to put the heating on. You sound incredibly entitled and ever so slightly smug

loveydoveyloon · 15/10/2024 08:49

Pollss · 15/10/2024 08:21

I thought we were doing well but DH told me we are almost broke.

We are mid 40s & 2 kids in primary school.

Joint gross income is £68k.

We have £190k outstanding on the mortgage on a house worth £525k

We have about £15k in savings and DH has £10 company shares. The children have about £5k each in their ISAs.

i thought we were in a much better financial position. DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.

DH doesn't talk to me about our finances because it usually ends in bickering. I was hoping to move to a larger house as our current one is too small but £525k gets you nothing in London.

what can i do to improve our finance situation

I have £5.83 in my bank to last me until Monday 😂

And I am much well off than a lot of people I know

FiveShelties · 15/10/2024 08:50

Very good OP, I almost feel sorry for you😁

AMRP · 15/10/2024 08:50

I’d love to be this ‘broke’!

Maray1967 · 15/10/2024 08:51

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 15/10/2024 08:29

You are nearly broke in the same way I'm nearly a supermodel.

Love this!! I’m going to remember that one - same applies to me …

Whyherewego · 15/10/2024 08:52

doodleschnoodle · 15/10/2024 08:27

And here is your answer:

'DH has always been a saver whilst I have been a spender. He handed me 6 months' credit card statements and there were just 100s of pointless transactions: coffee, pret, McDonald's, cinema trips costing £50 a piece.'

Yep. This is the answer I'm afraid. Tighten your belts and stop spending on pointless things

Paganpentacle · 15/10/2024 08:52

TheYearOfSmallThings · 15/10/2024 08:29

What are you on about?

You are doing just fine - I would actually say rather well for your income.

Exactly.
You're doing really well for that total household income to be honest.....