Does anyone feel awkward having no plans

[tootoobored]

Does anyone else find this awkward?
I have people ask me if I’m up to anything nice or if I did anything nice at the weekend. I try give a cheerful answer but I have absolutely zero money to do anything. I just about cover basic living costs. I know I shouldn’t be annoyed, it’s normal conversation, but I feel awkward not having an answer.

I just say that I had a good time relaxing at home catching up books,friends, whatever.

Sometimes I have plans, but sometimes I’m happy to confess that I’ll be hoovering, cleaning the toilet & watching crap TV.

"I am really keen to finish my book/do a bit of painting/spend some time in my garden/go for a long walk" usually covers it for me and costs nothing.

I have colleagues that have every weekend packed with things for their kids, people visiting and don't have a minute to themselves. They are jealous that I often have quiet weekends.
Doing something on the weekend doesn't need to cost money though! I'm often pottering in the garden, weeding, walking the dog, cleaning or grocery shopping. Yes, that does cost, but I work full time so rarely go in the week.

No I don't find it awkward at all. I love having no plans and being able to relax and focus on things I want to do.

I think it’s because I am saying it every weekend. Family ask regularly and I have to pretend to be cheery when I’m utterly bored.
Also when I turn down invites it’s difficult - can’t keep saying I can’t afford, watching the pennies or whatever lighthearted way I try to answer.

Maybe in only conscious because I would love to be doing more!

Well how do you spend your weekends?

No. Had amazing time chilling and taking dd to the park this weekend... I love weekends that you see how it goes no planning....

I usually plan to have no plans and it is fan bloody tastic thanks for asking.

Haha I was just reading the OPs message and thinking omg how lovely to not have plans (I know that's not your intention). But the freedom to couch rot and watch netflix has gone for me now I have a child.

I also don't often have big plans as we don't have money and we have an 18month old. We visit my mum and step dad, dad and step mum and in laws. Go on walks locally and to the local park, play in the garden and we are luckily that we were bought a pass to the local farm as my daughters birthday present so we go there too and that also has an indoor soft play on site.

"Hopefully I'll be doing fuck all and every fucking douche bag will fuck off and leave me alone."

That about sums it up.
Tends to stop people asking more than a couple times... 🤪

I get what you mean. My boss is an active man, always off climbing a mountain, swimming a lake or running a marathon at a weekend. Then he asks what I did - err, same as usual! Take the DC places, do house stuff, have in-laws round for Sunday lunch. I'm perfectly content but I'm sure he's pitying me.

It's similar with holidays, we like our easy UK breaks but all my friends commiserate that I dont get to go on a 'proper' holiday.

Don’t feel awkward at all. Usually have some form of plan but if not, I just say so.

It’s just conversation!
If someone asks me I might reply
not a lot
sleeping
catching up on housework
pottering etc
In reality last weekend I cleaned out my fish pond, caught up on the washing, did some weeding, sorted out elderly DM medications and did some lego
It’s not exactly exciting but was quite productive

I'd say that I had a 2,000 piece jigsaw to complete before I have to return it to the Jigsaw Library and I think my cat may have taken (or even eaten 😱) some of the sky pieces.

I suppose there are two different issues. It’s not very lovely to have time to chill if that’s all you ever have - and you would rather be doing things.
But the other aspect was feeling awkward repeatedly saying, oh I’m having a quiet one,…. seems maybe people would just think that’s nice rather than thinking its odd

OP I understand. Enforced quiet weekends due to no money are very differnt to choosing to lay low because you're tired etc..

Due to a series of very irritating external factors we've had an unplanned shockingly hard financial year. We've had 10 months of watching every single penny & trying to survive. It's temporary so I don't feel like broadcasting our business to all & sundry or even to family so I frame things a bit differently.

I go to lots of free things - exhibitions in galleries, museums, walks in forests, the library, bookshop browsing etc

I try to squirrel away small amounts each week & about every month to six weeks I arrange a lunch in a gallery cafe or somewhere like that with a friend.

I joined an online book club & set myself the target of reading the books

I started knitting again.

So now when people ask I legitimately say oh I'm going to see the xyz exhibition & having lunch with a friend after

Or I'm going off for a long walk / cycle & I'll stop off for a nice coffee (even if it's a flask from home)

Or - I've loads of reading to do for my next book club meeting so I'm planning a sofa/ bed day with tea & cake & a whole day of reading

Or I'm heading to the xx big bookshop or library to pick up my next book for bookclub & a good old browse

invite a friend over for coffee & biscuits & a chat

None of those things cost much Apart from the lunch one but it def sounds interesting & gives your weekend a focus to share

But I totally understand- it's v hard as what I REALLY want to be saying (& doing!) Is I'm off to Paris for the weekend. Or I'm going to the theatre with friends.or I'm going to dinner in (nice restaurant)

Same.

Just say 'Not sure yet. How about you?' and off they'll go about their own weekend while you show interest and enthusiasm, then away they go thinking what a nice conversation they've had and how interesting you are.

Thank you for a great reply.

Yes, great post from @CrushOnEminem ! Good advice.

I hope you will soon be able to have more plans for the weekends, @tootoobored . I wish you all the best.

Some ideas for you that don't involve going outside:

"Having a clear out - got far too much stuff piling up and been meaning to start on it!" This is good for a few weeks and people usually chime in with how much stuff they've got/what they've just cleared out.

"Doing some DIY - just a few coats of paint, fancied a change" - again good for several hours, often people will talk about their decorating or house too.

"Got a friend coming over, she's having a tough time so I'm a shoulder for her" - good for getting people to back off.

If you're creative then starting a new project - writing/art etc - would seem on topic for you.

I feel like that about holidays. Everyone in our circle goes on endless fecking holidays and is all they ask. We don’t have the money (house renovation) but also just aren’t that in to them. We have had some holidays, not saying we will have none, but we are quite happy having a big-ish one every 3 years or so, not 5 times a year.

One family we know (much better off than us) must spend circa £100k per year on their trips. If I had a spare £100k it wouldn’t go on multiple ski holidays or trips to Dubai. I’d rather waste it all on ponies!