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Original poster

When did you have a children

99 replies

Weddingexitement · 13/10/2024 21:34

When did you feel ready to start a family? Did you feel ready in all ways?

How financially ready were you before trying?

we are just trying to plan but feel like we will never be financially ready

OP posts:
MumChp · 13/10/2024 21:36

We were married. We had jobs. And we had children. Like most of our friends.

Didimum · 13/10/2024 21:38

We were both 31. We had a joint income of around £100k at the time and around £15k in savings. We never struggled financially with having kids, and found the emotional and lifestyle change the hardest.

TwoLeggedGrooveMachine · 13/10/2024 21:51

I was 30 when I felt ready. Had a house and been married a while. Had DC1 at 33 due to fertility issues and DH being unhappy at work. He was a full time Uni student working his old job at weekends when baby was born. We were able to go interest only on the mortgage but it was tough financially. Also tough for me dealing with a difficult baby mostly alone 7 days a week. No paternity leave from uni course. I went back to work on 70% hours at 6 months. We split childcare between nursery and my parents (very lucky for us my mum had just retired). It was really tough but we didn’t waste any money on unnecessary baby stuff and used a lot of second hand. DH’s career change paid off and we are comfortable now with two teens both of us working 80%. With our ages I didn’t want to wait longer. No regrets.

DelphiniumBlue · 13/10/2024 21:58

33 when I had DC1. Was married, had bought a house, but with a whopping mortgage and interest rate went up to 16% while I was pregnant, so even though we had decent jobs, it was a huge struggle financially. No state funded childcare then, and less maternity leave than now.
I had some savings to help with maternity leave so we did cover the mortgage. DC2 was on credit cards and with DC3 had to go back to work much earlier than I would have liked! Couldn't really afford him at all, but he is lovely so it was a good decision!

NewName24 · 13/10/2024 22:03

I had turned 31, and, at the time knew a lot of couples who had struggled to conceive, and were at some point along a long journey to becoming parents.

We were married and had our own home. We were broke, but figured if we left it until we felt more comfortable financially, and then realised it could be a long journey, that wouldn't be good.

Alarae · 13/10/2024 22:23

I was 26 when I fell pregnant. DH and I had been married a few years, had moved to a bigger house, I moved jobs (to get better mat pay as was on statutory previously) and passed my final exams, so was fully qualified and promoted. We had also just come back from an amazing blow-out holiday to Canada (snowboarding, dogsledding, cabin stay in the woods, the works) so I had 'ticked all my boxes' in a sense.

Basically, I was happy that I had achieved what I wanted to prior to having a child, so we went for it.

Timelash · 13/10/2024 22:25

I was 37 and DH was 42.

I was very ready at that point and we were financially in as good a position as possible.

My advice is not to wait for the perfect time; it doesn’t exist. There’s always a reason not to do it and to wait. I wish we’d started trying sooner.

MrsBungle · 13/10/2024 22:26

I was 31 and 34 when I had my two. Was married, owned a house and stable. After being brought up in an unstable environment I was not willing to have children without that,

Notamum12345577 · 13/10/2024 22:28

Weddingexitement · 13/10/2024 21:34

When did you feel ready to start a family? Did you feel ready in all ways?

How financially ready were you before trying?

we are just trying to plan but feel like we will never be financially ready

Married at 18/21. Child at 19/21

CSR721 · 13/10/2024 22:30

We were married and in stable permanent jobs (both teachers) and owned our home (well on mortgage). I was 30 when my son was born.

papadontpreach2me · 14/10/2024 07:59

We had our own home and both worked so we had our children early, we didn't want to be older parents with young kids.

StampOnTheGround · 14/10/2024 08:17

I was 27 when I fell pregnant and 28 when I gave birth.

We felt ready, we'd been together 12 years by the time the baby was born and married 2.5 years.

Financially fine, combined income of around 80k. A high portion of that from my DH, therefore we knew I could take a year off for maternity and then go back part-time after and it wouldn't be a problem.

BobbyDazzler11 · 14/10/2024 08:26

29 when I fell pregnant and 30 giving birth. Luckily first try.

We had our house and had done it up, inc garden. Bought 2 cars so no huge expenses to come in the next few years.
Saved up just over 15k to use while I was off and knew we could afford for me to go back PT.

TobaccoFlower · 14/10/2024 08:28

I was ready at 30. I had got married at 29. We bought a 2 bed house first and then started trying at 31.

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 14/10/2024 08:30

My first was a happy accident (although his dad and now my ex was not happy) at 23.

2nd at 31 and 3rd at 36. Both planned.

I left my ex when first child was 1, and he had him at weekends. Had a few years of fun festivals and holidays before now DH and I settled down. I don't think you are ever financially ready.

I wasn't exactly financially stable although was working when I had DS1. Had a lot of help from family though for first pushchair etc.

Odearr · 14/10/2024 08:31

22 and wasn't ready at all, financially or otherwise but nothing terrible happened and it was ok! I don't think anyone is ever completely ready but you can continue to learn and grow and develop in life while having children, it doesn't have to be a case of having to achieve all these things before having kids, you can work it out as you go along lots of people do and it's fine.

batsandeggs · 14/10/2024 08:33

I was 29 and we both had stable and secure jobs. Over and above that my maternity allowance was fantastic, and that was one of the most important factors in our considerations. When I was looking for a new job I also made sure their maternity policy was what I wanted it to be before having our second.

Frowningprovidence · 14/10/2024 08:33

I was 27 when I had my first pregnancy but it was a miscarriage. We had been trying a while, we're married, had a home etc.

K0OLA1D · 14/10/2024 08:39

I was 21 with DC1 and 23 with DC2.

We rented but both had FT stable jobs.

Kids are now nearly 13 and 11.

Grepes · 14/10/2024 08:51

Didn’t feel ready until 40. I was having so much fun in my 20/30s and wanted to make sure I did all the travelling/festivals/partying etc whilst I was young. Now I’m really happy to settle down, I’m financially stable and have a great husband. I’m very pleased with my lot!!

AngelsWithSilverWings · 14/10/2024 08:59

Married at 26 and started TTC a year later. We had a bought a house which we had made sure we could still afford on one salary as we were planning children soon after marriage ( I worked in mortgages and had seen people over stretch ). This was in 1996 when house prices were still affordable on normal salaries so we weee lucky with timing.

Actually didn't become parents until 9 years later due to infertility. We met our adopted DS the day after our 10th wedding anniversary. So our very careful financial planning wasn't really necessary in the end and had we had a crystal ball we'd have bought a much more expensive house.

Anisty · 14/10/2024 09:00
  1. Been with partner 5 years by then; was a planned pg but we weren't married.

We had lived together almost the 5 years we'd been together in rented flats. When i fell pg, we'd been in a mortgaged house for a year.

We both worked full time but had no money (this was 1992 with rates up at 15Ùª)

We got married on a shoestring budget at a registery office and only invited witnesses. It was gatecrashed by 2 others from my work!

Went on a one night honeymoon near Lake District.

Money was a big issue for us during 1st 10 years of our marriage, esp as i cut to part time after baby born.

But - you cut your cloth. And we were in a far better position by our mid 30s.

We were far more irresponsible than young folks today. Back then, everyone had kids and just cut back to make do. You just had less. But you got by.

Manchesterbythesea · 14/10/2024 09:01

First at 21, I was definitely not ready but it all turned out ok. Shes 23 now.
Then I had the others (all planned) at 25,29 & 34.

Beezknees · 14/10/2024 09:02

I was 17 when I got pregnant, 18 when DS was born.

Obviously was not financially ready.

Jeezitneverends · 14/10/2024 09:03

27…had bought a house and got married the previous year, both in stable FT employment-I had excellent maternity leave, 6 months full pay in the 90s! We also saved like max to allow me to take a year off…

Ive edited this because it sounds terribly smug. That was all that went to plan, as life went to complete ratshit due to completely unexpected parental ill health on one side and bereavement on the other…27 years later we’re still paying for it