Do you drink in front of your dc?

[Nowandforeveridontcare]

I’m likely in peri menopause so barely drink these days as it’s not worth feeling unwell for, but recently I’ve been craving having a drink say on a Friday or Saturday night, like Dh and I used to, pre Dd.
If I meet up with friends for parties, I’ve had a glass of champagne or two, the kids don’t notice or bother to see as they’re off playing, Do you sit and have a drink in front of your dc? As in a Friday night watching tv etc?
I grew up with my dad being a big drinker, I remember the horrible feeling I’d have when he came home on a Saturday after a session with my uncles, I hated the way it changed him, even if he was just being silly, it made me feel insecure, I vowed never to drink when older, but went the other way for a while. When my parents come to stay, I’ve still made it a non drinking house, which probably sounds ridiculous, but the atmosphere changing when my dad has had a drink is not great for my anxiety and now it’s my house and I’m an adult and don’t want Dd around that. I also now hate Dh getting too tipsy at home or coming home like that. Recently I’ve been thinking maybe I need to lighten up a bit and relax and it might help me be me again a bit, like before I had Dd (6)
Do you do that or no drinking?

I'll have a pint or glass of wine with my kids around, but not any more than that. I wouldn't want them to see me drunk, ever. Not that I like being drunk anymore - I always need to be with it the next morning!

For a couple of glasses at the weekend, of course. It's not like you've a still in the cellar and are making poteen or other illicit bew
I agree that no child, or adult for that matter, needs to see binge-drinking to the point it changes personalities, but a glass or two isn't going to harmm.
Do you take them to restaurants or 'kid-friendly' pubs where people drink?
Rememer, in France and such places, children are introduced to social, family-orientated meal in which wine is comsumed. Indeed, they are introduced to watered-down wine as children, largely to prevent the 'mystery' of alcohol turning into something they try at 14, usuallly starting with a bottle of voddie

Polish your halo instead?
Being preachy about your self-imposed restrictions is not polite

I don’t see the issue with drinking in front of my dd (4 years old). My partners family owns a winery which she loves to visit.

I don’t randomly drink at home in front of her but will have some wine when out at a restaurant, at a family gathering or trying a new release.

Hopefully because she is growing up seeing the adults around her drinking in moderation and appreciating wine she will gain a healthy relationship with alcohol.

We could probably count on one hand the amount of times we've drank alcohol in front of DC1 who is 6. It would be the odd drink at a wedding and family get together type thing. Generally I prefer not to drink alcohol when I have the kids with me tbh, just preference really. We also almost never drink at home anyway as we are only social drinkers, and that was always the same for both of us, so there wasn't anything to change on that front once we had DC1 anyway. Neither of us have ever been big drinkers anyway. On average we probably both drink alcohol only say less than 10 times a year at social events.

If I never drank again I wouldn't particularly miss it tbh like I haven't really during any of my pregnancies. I do enjoy a few drinks occasionally with friends though but I can take it or leave it really. DH is the same but even less likely to drink because he is the only one of us who drives so will often prefer to do that/prefer to stay available to drive for emergencies etc.

I don't personally really drink much, but I'm sure even I've had an alcoholic drink in front of my son at some point. I don't believe in getting visibly tipsy/drunk in front of children and obviously if you're responsible for their safety you should be staying sober. But having one or two drinks in front of them is fine.

I do think you need to be careful about the language you use around drinking though. I've heard small children talk about how their parents need wine/beer to relax and I don't think that's healthy framing. It's obviously a reason why people drink and I think with teens you can be more honest, but small children are so literal and black and white that you shouldn't talk like that around them.

Yes!
DH has a glass of wine about four nights a week and, as the DC have got older, that will be when they are still awake. Most of the time there is an open bottle of white in the fridge and a bottle of red on the counter. He'll also have a beer if watching football.
I have a G&T most Fridays or Saturdays and DH will usually have the same. The DC also have "special" drinks those evenings. When younger, that was sparkling water in a wine glass or martini glass with ice and lemon; as they've got older it's changed into something like a J2O or a Fanta.
If friends are around or I go to friends of an evening or a weekend afternoon then we might have a glass of wine or we might have a cup of tea. Sometimes, this will become a second glass and so the DC have had experiences of seeing friends walk home or us having to walk home as the friend/I can't drive. They've also had to walk back the next day to collect the car. These have all been considered decisions and are part of responsible drinking. For example, I am less likely to have a second glass of wine if it's a rainy, miserable evening as I won't want to walk home! When we go out as a family, they have also heard DH and I discussing who is going to drive - and the odd occasion when one of us forgets and suddenly has to tell the other to stop drinking (fortunately always early enough in the evening for the other to still be under the limit). On other occasions when it is just DH & I going out they will have heard us discussing whether to drive or get a taxi which is always dependent on whether we are both drinking or not.
The DC have also seen me tipsy but only when DH or the grandparents are around to be in charge of them. I've said this to them. They've also experienced mornings when I'm (mildly) hungover (but this only seems to take two drinks these days!) so I stay in bed and DH brings me tea & toast and is charge and they are told not to disturb me. Other times, it will be DH who is in bed and we might go out without him.
They have also seen plenty of social occasions, evenings at home, dealing with stressful experiences and so on when we're not drinking and will have heard me say things like "I could really do with a glass of wine but I need to be fully focussed tomorrow/later so I won't" or "It's very tempting to have a glass of wine but I'd be better going for a run" and then doing just that.

I did/do. I'm a lone parent and not going to never have a drink again. When DC was young I waited until he was in bed, when he was a bit older I drank in front of him (I don't get drunk) he's 16 now and I drink in front of him.

I've definitely seen my parents drunk as an older teen/adult, didn't bother me. DS hasn't seen me drunk as I don't do it often, he may do someday though.

I am slightly similar to you op, my dad went to the pub every single day, never got drunk but the smell of stale beer when he collected me from school, the slight swaying when he came home, the attitudes he brought back from the scummy men he sat with at the pub would make him argumentative and just not nice. It also meant that we couldn't really do anything as a family at the weekend as he had to get to the pub. My mum would also get really drunk in the house when he went out and talk about really inappropriate things with me, well talk at me. They also had a very volatile relationship and would fight late at night when they came back from the pub.

I spent all my wedding day til the speeches trying to make sure my dad didn't really drink - so was uncomfortable all throughout the meal. My husband in contrast has never ever seen his mum or dad drunk, I couldn't understand it when he told me!

I do have a drink but we are talking one or two glasses. My daughter is nearly 15 and I have been slightly drunk once in front of her, I was mortified but, because she isn't me and because her dad and I aren't like my mum and dad she just thought it was funny and rolled her eyes at me and laughed. So what i would say is do what you think is right but remember your child won't have the experience you had as you are not parenting like your parents did. Took me a long time to realise that.

This. It's good to show you can enjoy a drink in moderation and about healthy habits across the board.

My husband will have a beer or two sometimes on a Friday. Or if we go out for dinner, a beer with his meal. I don't drink as I'd be driving.

It's about demonstration of healthy habits.

Yes, I love a glass of wine at the weekend and my dds often buy me expensive bottles for my birthday - they are 18+!

My son is 13 and knows. He also knows his brain won't fully develop until 25 so don't do drugs before then. Hopefully he listens

This is exactly the same message we fave our kids with alcohol. Drinking is absolutely fine, but don’t do it until 25yo until your brain wiring is fully developed. All but one of our kids accepted this was sensible and have complied. Some don’t not drink as I guess by that age they then don’t see the point. One does but very infrequently and generally nurses one drink forever and then I have one who didn’t listen at all and has had alcohol from drinking age and overindulges.

We always drank in front of our kids. Why not? We weren’t badly behaved with alcohol and no one who came to our house and drank was ever badly behaved or they would have never been invited back. We always had one person able to drive when they were younger though just in case of some medical emergency. Nowadays, we don’t worry about that as there is always one of them about who could drive and if not means no one else home, just DH and I who are quite happy not to bother about such things😆.

Don't drink until you are 25? The university pubs would go out of business!

I've gone on a bit of a journey with my drinking. I grew up in a household where my parents had a drink every night and every Friday we went to friends or they came to ours and all the parents got drunk.
It was never raucous but booze was a huge part to my upbringing. I started drinking at 14 as I just thought that's what everyone did. I drank like a fish throughout uni and my 20s.
I then had kids and struggled with suddenly being responsible and not drinking as much. My eldest is now 8 and I've finally realised I don't want them to assume they have to drink as much as I did. Yes I occasionally have the odd drink around them but not that often.
For example - we're doing Sunday lunch today and my mum would have drink wine while making it and there would have been wine on the table that all the adults would have been at least a bit tipsy. Today the only bit of wine will be in the gravy and that's it.