To have gender euphoria?

[onionsandcarrot]

When I see posts about gender disappointment everyone always quickly reassures the OP that they will get over it quickly.

I am not actually sure that this is always the case.

But I am wondering if this automatically goes the other way, if you get the gender you wanted if the buzz wears off.

(and yes I know. Sex not gender. But I am not having a post titled sex euphoria.)

I was on a thread with the poster I quoted and while I don’t wish to be unkind she did not ‘want a boy and a girl’ as she puts it here. In context it isn’t a strange response.

I had a preference myself which is why I started the thread and I have long standing guilt over it. I’m very sympathetic to gender disappointment usually but in this particular case I’m not.

My experience is that the disappointment can be intense when finding out but disappear when bonding takes place.

As the children take on their own personality, their sex doesn't come so much into it.

Ultimately, sex disappointment can only a response to the stereotypes associated with each sex. The reality is that these are indeed mainly stereotypes and are rarely so black and white. In my case, with one of each, the stereotypes are actually almost 100% reversed!

We have boys and while I did want a girl before having kids, I'm now so glad we have boys. Our friends with girls are having a hard time raising them and they seem to turn into little monsters around age 7 😱 Raising boys seems a little more simple. So yes, initial disappointment during pregnancy but the "euphoria" (if you can call it that? More relief hah) of having two boys has been long lived.

@onionsandcarrot I always wanted one of each 🤷🏻‍♀️ What I didn't want was two boys. My first was a boy (who I love so so much) and (for a while) I was really scared I wouldn't get my dream family set up.

Thankfully I was under the perinatal mental health team during my pregnancy due to three previous losses so I was able to access the mental health support I needed at the time.

Thanks for bringing it up again though 👍🏻

@Waitingfordoggo I had a mental health breakdown on a thread here that I (falsely) assumed was only being read by my friends as we were the only ones talking on it. I'm autistic and have very black and white thinking when it comes to some topics. It can be very hard to shake me out of a particular mindset or depressive episode. Thankfully the perinatal mental health team really helped me :)

Edited as unfair to bring up.

@onionsandcarrot I didn't want a boy FIRST as I always assumed I'd have a girl first as that's the case throughout my family. Stupid, I know, but again... autistic... so... not everything I say or do always makes rational sense. So yeah I was shocked and disappointed when they told me but in that case I rapidly got over it and was then just excited that my boy was my boy.

I had and have no issues about having a boy in general. I wouldn't have wanted two girls either.

Like I said, I recognise that I was mentally ill. Therapy helped me deal with it.

What you read was the ramblings of a terrified and extremely broken person. Remembering what I said makes me quite upset.

Thanks, I'd edit my follow up post too but I can't as my phone won't let me 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

@TheBirdintheCave

@TheBirdintheCave look, I don’t want to be a bitch here and I’m uncomfortably aware I have been. Your post really upset me when you made it. I didn’t say anything, partly because anyone who expressed anything other than kindness and understanding was deleted which I can sort of understand as you needed support. The problem is and was you weren’t the only one needing support and being frank here it was a bloody upsetting post to read. I do get you weren’t making it with that intention but nonetheless it stayed with me.

Months later and I’m dealing with my own confusion and I make a post and you replied and I replied in haste. I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories and I did actually identify with some of what you wrote. But it was a hard read nonetheless.

Don’t worry about it, I shouldn’t have brought it up but (sorry to be so blunt here) seeing your name did bring it back somewhat.

I wouldn't say euphoria, but I was happy. I have boys and always thought it would be nice to have just boys. I don't think I would have been disappointed with a girl, although DP used to say if we had another he'd like a girl, whereas I would still like another boy! We won't be having more, but I'm quite sure I'd be happy with a healthy baby of either sex.

@onionsandcarrot and @TheBirdintheCave, thank you for explaining. Sorry that the conversation brings up difficult memories for you both.

@onionsandcarrot ❤️ I'm really sorry that it upset you. If I'd have recognised your username I'd have kept away from your thread.

Well, it’s me who should apologise. I have but here again sorry.

And to be fair to @TheBirdintheCave it’s probably triggering as she voiced feelings I had. I had a boy first, I convinced myself it didn’t matter but as everyone around me had a girl it did. Second time around I had a girl, I insisted it didn’t matter but I know it did.

It isn’t because of princesses or anything. I don’t know what it is. Wish I knew!

Honestly don’t apologise - it’s 100% on me. Hug?

I did. I’m not sure why but I really really wanted a girl with my firstborn and a son later. I got what I wanted and yes it was magical each time. DD is in her twenties and DS in his teens and I have such a different but wonderful relationship with each.
That said, I do think you love the one you get so I’d probably feel like this regardless.

Same! (Also, lol at 'sex euphoria')

I’ve no idea what gender euphoria is outside of this topic … and I ain’t googling!

I was gender euphoric on my first DD, still am, my second and my third DC 1 boy, 1 girl. Still am. Delighted with them all never wore off.

@onionsandcarrot Yes, hugs, we're all good now :) ❤️

Gender euphoria is when a cross-dressing man gets a hard-on from wearing women's clothes.
Probably best not Googled!

I was euphoric when I found out I was having a dd. I knew I'd only have one dc and always wanted a daughter. She is amazing and we have a wonderful relationship and lots of shared interests. I might've had the same with a son but I'll never know.

I got pregnant by accident and knew from the minute I found out I’d only ever want and have one child. I was desperate for the baby to be a boy, and he was. I’m still euphoric about him being a boy 21 years later

Of course you don't have two boys 🙄