Feel really conflicted ...

[SoreHeadInBed]

So DS (yr 9) has been given the opportunity to go on an amazing school trip along the lines of volunteering at a school for disadvantaged kids in Kenya. I think it is an incredible opportunity to see a country so different from the UK, and to learn about and help others, and make new friends across then globe. I'm sure DS will get a lot from the experience which will massively open his eyes.

But I have a few conflicting feelings:

1. This trip is v expensive (£1800). DH and I can't really afford it but it seems such a great opportunity we will make it happen and find the money. However, we r obviously lucky to be in a position to b able to do that. I feel really bad for the kids whose parents can not afford this trip. I just don't know if I agree with state secondary schools offering these v expensive trips. It seems v much like the rich will benefit and the poorer kids will be left out. I feel so uncomfortable with it. I wish I could afford to fund another kid so that those that can't afford it dont miss out, but sending DS will already be a big financial stretch and I can't afford to fund another child as well. Are such expensive trips the norm at all state schools? What do u think about it?

1. I feel really weird about a bunch of 13/14yr old privileged uk kids going to 'volunteer' at this school in Kenya. I mean, how much actually useful stuff can a bunch of 13yr olds do to help on a one week holiday? How must the kids in this school feel having a new.bunch of western kids come and look at them and 'volunteer' every week. I mean, if the kids actually will genuinely be doing good and helping this school, then good. I just question how much good they can actually do and the ethics of it all.

Anyway, those r my conflicts.

AIBU to be feeling both happy and grateful for the opportunity for DS, but also deeply uncomfortable with the whole thing?

Yes, schools have always done trips abroad that not all students could afford. I didn't go on language exchange trips because we couldn't afford it.

I agree, this feels like privileged kids, going on a tour of people in poverty under the guise of helping them. I wouldn’t allow my child go because in my view it would be morally wrong. Surely it would be better for your child’s school to partner with the school in Kenya and raise money for them which they could spend on useful staff and resources. And to partner with them doesn’t even mean to visit. Covid taught us that we can easily link in with people in other ways.

I'd look very carefully into what they are going to be doing and how helpful it will really be. Sometimes these schemes can be problematic and it's a chance to teach him to consider these issues.

What are your thoughts on it? When I was at school we went to the Norfolk coast for 3 days and that was all! Expensive trips just weren't a thing in our school. I'm surprised state schools offer these trips. Maybe it's fine. I just feel really weird about it....

My brother is 67 and he went on a student exchange trip when he was at state school.

My old state school also offered skiing trips and other trips abroad related to whatever the pupils were studying.

We could never afford them but I don't think that means they shouldn't be offered to those who can, because in many cases it was the only way they could afford to send their kids, without the extra cost of family involved.

However, the sort of trip you're talking about OP does sound a bit like sending the kids to look at the poor people.

20 years ago my state school went skiing and to France and various other trips, I didn't go on a single one though lol

As for Kenya, it does seem a bit like going to view poverty stricken kids as though they're in a zoo? I don't understand unless it's for phse and they're building a well or something needed?

I agree with you second point OP

We went to Swanage. Checked out the geology and drank cider on the beach. Good times.

I agree with you. This sounds like some kind of weird white savior poverty tourism.

Also £1800 is ridiculous

Well, I hated languages anyway so it didn't bother me in that sense...
And I still got to meet the exchange kids who did come over
Being the only one who didn't go meant that for the few days they were over doing their visit meant I did feel a little left out but I basically did no work (I do remember sitting in on an A Level Geography lesson at one point, because there was nowhere else to go at that time) and it didn't really affect me.

@LoveTheRainAndSun and @HappytoH3lp - thanks. Yeah, I think I'll try and find out a bit more about it all. The teacher arranging it strikes me as an ethical chap, so maybe I could talk to him about my concerns and see what he says. It's not sitting right at the moment though...

I agree. It feels maybe exploitative. That's possibly too strong a word. But yes I can imagine how these kids must feel seeing a carousel of privileged kids rock up and do whatever they do.

I also think of the expense and whether that would be better used elsewhere for your child. I agree it's out of reach for many.

This sort of thing is common now in most schools. The best we had was a trip to somewhere random in Germany back in the 90s.

If it's only a week he probably won't get that much out if it anyway. They also won't be any help to the school in Kenya either.

There are lots of charities working to help people in the UK. He'd get more out of helping in a food bank, volunteering to help an elderly person or going litter picking for example. Not very glamorous but addressing problems in his own backyard would be more beneficial.

Dd has a similar opportunity but it’s £5k. I have issues:

1. The cost
2. What can a 14yo really bring to benefit the country? Let’s not pretend dd would be “building a school”!
3. the UK government says Kenya is currently not safe and British nationals are at increased risk of kidnapping.

an 18+ person choosing to go is one thing but me putting my 14yo at such a risk is an absolute no. I’m really uncomfortable that the school is doing this.

Happy days 👍😎

You are way overthinking it. I went to private school (full disclosure) and there were trips like this that I didn't go on because we couldn't afford it, similar to this one plus skiing. I didn't miss out at all.

Second it does broaden horizons just to see an entirely different way of living. I don't think either sides will think that deeply about it. Plus it can be framed in a positive way and lead onto interesting conversations about more of the nuanced stuff. You can do something like this and be critical of the white saviour mentality.

I do agree it's expensive and a lot can be learned at home too.

As for point 2...

I'd ask exactly what they were going to be doing. Teaching English of sorts? Helping with painting and gardening? Learning about their culture, kind of like a French Exchange but without the returning trip?

They’d be better sending the £1800 each direct to the people they’d be visiting in Kenya. Ridiculous poverty tourism project.

Its called voluntourism and is a huge business in the developing world. Ethically really questionable. A better alternative would be to organise a trip to the place in mind, raise money at home for some charity there and not blur the lines or suggest that these young kids have anything to actually contribute.

I work in the foreign aid sector and this stuff really gives me the ick.

It's not very environnementally friendly to fly a load of teenagers to Kenya for a week.

I thought we were supposed to be reducing our carbon footprints.

5k 😲🫨😱😲

V good point!

No way, we would spend £1800 on a year 9 school trip so rich kids (£1800!) can "save the world & help" poor kids in Africa.
It's ridiculous.

My school does outback trips to disadvantaged indigenous communities to volunteer. they help build things in the community like the last one I think they built a shelter with tables for the school to sit at for lunch in the shade. They paid for all the materials with money they raised and also spent time hanging out with the kids, trying local food, learning some of the language. I think it’s about making the kids feel connected and forming friendships ect. But that said, this is done in the spirit of reconciliation within our own country (Australia) rather than going to another country.

How would your son and his friends really be able to help the people in Kenya?

It's like sightseeing a place to be thankful for what you have.

If the money was going to pay for children to have an education, to write letters back and forth, that would be a mutually beneficial arrangement.

I agree with the concerns about voluntourism. First, they really don't do much and second, they take away work from locals. And these people aren't animals in a zoo to be gawked at nor are their lives there to "teach" others about compassion and being thankful for what they have.

I work in international health and the idea of the "Saviour from the North" is a major issue.