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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Kids heels

54 replies

Sosueme1 · 11/10/2024 20:04

My husband and I got into a big argument today. Things have been brewing the last 2 weeks and kinda came to a head today over something silly. We were both off work and our 4 yr old girl was at school, so we went out for Lunch and I decided to show him some accessories I had bought for our daughters Halloween costume (a princess dress). She has a Halloween school disco at school they will be there a half day . I wanted her to wear the princess dress to this and bought her a pink cape, gloves , a crown and these kids shoes with a tiny heel. When I showed him what I bought online he started saying she couldn’t wear heels to school, I explained it was just for a Halloween party but he got all annoyed over it and started an argument. We were supposed to go get our groceries after but when we got the the car he said I’m not putting up with your attitude and drove home , we drove home in silence. Once we got home I got out of the car and he drove off with out a word. I text him then saying are u for real? he then phoned and we argued for a bit but when he got home that was it , we were ok again … tonight we were supposed to go out to a beer festival and stay the night at an air b&b with friends but decided against it earlier in the week as our girl has a swimming lesson early in the morning and he has things to do around the house . I told him earlier in the week to go on ahead without me along with his friends if he wanted I don’t mind, but he said no, today then one of his friends was driving to the beer festival so he told me he was going to go along with him and come home early. He asked me to drive him to his friends house so I said that’s no problem.
Later he came up to me and asked me what jacket he should wear, I said the one he was wearing was fine and I said sure you’re only going for a while anyways.. he then said in an awful tone “That’s not what I asked you I asked what jacket should I wear, I never said anything about how long I was going for” I obviously then reacted to his tone and said something like don’t speak to me like that!!!! As it was in front of our daughter. ! He then stormed downstairs saying that he wasn’t going now as it wasn’t worth going as he would end up paying for it later with my mood! (I didn’t mind him going) this wound me up and I got annoyed at him over this and he stormed off again . I was then watching tv with my daughter and he came and sat down and didn’t say anything, next min a car came and picked him up and he said to my daughter bye love you see you later . ( he obvs got his friend to come pick him up to go to the beer festival) I’m left here now fuming !

Kids heels
OP posts:
Redragonoteal · 11/10/2024 20:09

I'm with your DH, sorry. Those are totally ridiculous and inappropriate for a 4 year old to wear. How is she supposed to run and jump around in those?

MoneyAndPercentages · 11/10/2024 20:15

The arguing sounds a bit petty, but the shoes are terrible! Surely she'll twist her ankle, especially as they'll be running and jumping about 😬

LimeSqueezer · 11/10/2024 20:15

There are no circumstances under which I would allow my 4-year-old to wear those shoes. It's encouraging a lifetime of uncomfortable shoes that harm feet and prevent free movement and running around. More to the point, you seem to be actively promoting gender stereotypes and bordering on really rather sexualised attire. Her father had a point. Do you believe in training your daughter to be an ornament whose purpose is to please others? That's what those does say to me.

Halloween costumes are meant to scare off evil spirits anyway.

Pandasnacks · 11/10/2024 20:17

The shoes aren't appropriate for a school disco at that age, and a princess dress is not a Halloween costume.

Makelikeatreeandleaf · 11/10/2024 20:17

Can't bear small children clopping about in those plastic horrors. I'm with DH, even though he could have been a tad more articulate in his displeasure.

Crunchymum · 11/10/2024 20:18

We were given a pair of these monstrosities when DD1 was about 5. They were for the dressing up box only.

DD does actually wear heels for her dance class but I'd not be happy with her wearing them out of the house (she's almost 10 now)

Octavia64 · 11/10/2024 20:18

A princess dress isn't suitable for a Halloween disco.

Those shoes are unsuitable full stop.

Surprisedcupcake · 11/10/2024 20:18

I wouldn't put those monstrosities on my kids feet 🤣 no offence

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 11/10/2024 20:19

Your DH's response to the argument is childish. But I agree with him on the shoes.

EsmeSusanOgg · 11/10/2024 20:19

Those are too high. I thought you were going to show something effectively flat like they have in Monsoon kids. Those will be very hard to walk/ run/ dance in at school.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 11/10/2024 20:21

A 4 year old can’t wear those to school/a party. She needs to wear something suitable for running around/ dancing/ jumping up and down/ climbing etc.

holjam · 11/10/2024 20:21

Nope I wouldn't put my 4 year old in those so with your DH on this one.

Grepes · 11/10/2024 20:23

Well if you’re going for the full-on scare/horror factor of a poor 4-yr old being made to wear a weird beauty pageant costume suitable for a young woman - then you’ve probably nailed it.

There is nothing remotely Halloween about a princess. Heels are completely unsuitable for a 4yr old (and those ones are horrendous!).

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/10/2024 20:24

The shoes are revolting and completely impractical and from somewhere like Temu. She’s 4, her feet are growing, she should be running and jumping and dancing at a party. I’ve got a 5 year old and it makes me so sad seeing little girls being dolled up like tiny pageant queens, it’s gross. Let her be a kid.

As to the rest of it, the two of you are adults with a child, you’ve seriously got to learn how to communicate properly! It must be exhausting scrapping and fighting and so much mutual resentment. It’s so damaging for your daughter seeing you both behaving like that. Bye a relationship book or get some counselling and learn how to talk to each other.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 11/10/2024 20:27

i have three girls, they’d all have loved a pair of these to wear to a disco! I’d let mine wear them as a one off, it’s hardly going to damage her feet forever to wear them for a couple of hours

LastNight1Dreamt1WentToManderleyAgain · 11/10/2024 20:28

Crunchymum · 11/10/2024 20:18

We were given a pair of these monstrosities when DD1 was about 5. They were for the dressing up box only.

DD does actually wear heels for her dance class but I'd not be happy with her wearing them out of the house (she's almost 10 now)

Tap or flamenco or ballroom or other dance heels will be differently constructed, for balance and hard wear, no? I remember being glad not to have to wear tap shoes but being in a different activity when I was 5 or 6.

StSwithinsDay · 11/10/2024 20:29

Temu is under fire for the use of enforced slavery.

Lawmakers in the United States last year warned there was an “extremely high risk” that products sold on the platform were made in China with forced labour.
And Australian Senator David Shoebridge, who said modern slavery was a multibillion-dollar industry, warned the company appeared to be “ruthlessly focused” on costs regardless of ethical considerations.

That fact alone means I would never buy from them.
The shoes are shite.

StSwithinsDay · 11/10/2024 20:29

Why was my post hidden?
Temu are accused of using enforced slavery in China.
Lawmakers in the United States last year warned there was an “extremely high risk” that products sold on the platform were made in China with forced labour.
And Australian Senator David Shoebridge, who said modern slavery was a multibillion-dollar industry, warned the company appeared to be “ruthlessly focused” on costs regardless of ethical considerations.

StSwithinsDay · 11/10/2024 20:31

Are we not allowed to discuss modern slavery?

doodleschnoodle · 11/10/2024 20:33

My DD(5) had a (not Halloween themed) disco last night and I just got her some sparkly flats from Next I think, as her only request for her outfit was 'SEQUINS' Grin

Given her exuberant dance moves, I think those pink shoes would have resulted in a sprained ankle... Not very sensible but I don't understand why everyone is fuming and falling out about it. They're cheap shite, just get something else.

Strictlymad · 11/10/2024 20:34

So sounds like dh didn’t handle it well, neither of you did. But no a 4 year old shouldn’t be wearing those shoes, especially not to a disco. That is an a and e trip lined up perfectly.

Pandasnacks · 11/10/2024 20:34

StSwithinsDay · 11/10/2024 20:31

Are we not allowed to discuss modern slavery?

It's really just not what the thread is about, make your own thread.

StSwithinsDay · 11/10/2024 20:35

@Pandasnacks
So are we only allowed to talk about the crappy cheap shoes? And not the poor unfortunate people who have to make them? Or does it make you uncomfortable to have think about them?

Pandasnacks · 11/10/2024 20:36

StSwithinsDay · 11/10/2024 20:35

@Pandasnacks
So are we only allowed to talk about the crappy cheap shoes? And not the poor unfortunate people who have to make them? Or does it make you uncomfortable to have think about them?

Nice try. This thread is about a specific thing, bore off.