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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not pay the cleaner

224 replies

MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 12:50

We have had a cleaner for about a month and she is absolutely great. Today I had £100 on my bedside table this morning. There is no one else who could have taken it, but there is no evidence it was her. Am I being unreasonable not paying her ?

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 11/10/2024 15:27

ElleneAsanto · 11/10/2024 14:11

Very strange to randomly leave £100 cash on a bedside table?

I currently have about £80 on my bedside table. It is all accounted for over the next few days as have a few things that need cash. It is sat there so I remember to take it with me when I need it so not particularly strange.

VictoriaSpungecake · 11/10/2024 15:35

This had happened to me a coupe of times - every time it's happened the thing I lost has turned up and hadn't been stolen at all. I don't think you should accuse her.

By the way, in a cost of living crisis (or at any time) I would not leave money out on display like that,

category12 · 11/10/2024 15:38

Maybe dh took it.

BirthdeighParteigh · 11/10/2024 15:47

It’s bad manners to leave cash lying around when your cleaner visits. It looks like a test or trap.

MamaD2207 · 11/10/2024 15:49

Hey. I won’t post after this, I leave all my cash in a pot next to bed so I can grab it when I need too. I have always done this. It’s a big lesson learnt from me. I will pay her and not ask her back because I would be worried.

OP posts:
2kbak · 11/10/2024 15:52

My db's cleaner stole £300 cash from a drawer. It was there at the start of the day and gone when he got back from work. He lives alone and only she had access. Everyone on here always says cleaners don't steal. But in my experience in the real world, it's pretty common. Also common is people misplacing things and thinking they've been stolen. But if you're sure that you left it in a certain place (where it wasn't liable to blow away or a pet could get hold of it) and anyone else you live with hasn't had it, then yes the cleaner probably stole it.

OP you have to pay the cleaner for the work done, but definitely don't have her back. You have no proof unfortunately.

ruethewhirl · 11/10/2024 15:54

Lissyy · 11/10/2024 15:13

She wouldn't, its not a court room.

You're saying you think it'd be OK to accuse this cleaner of theft with no proof?

apprenticeison · 11/10/2024 15:55

This won't work with notes, but this is what my clever friend did when a ring went missing after a cleaner had been. Not a very expensive ring, but very sentimental (cleaner probably thought it was valuable). It was on her bedstand before she came, gone when she was gone. Like you friend couldn't accuse her straight out - asked her but oh no, she hadn't seen it. She thought of a plan: Contacted her again and said 'I know where the ring must be, you must have hoovered it up by mistake, but I don't understand the hoover, I'm sooo bad with technical things, is there any way you would be able to come over and help me open the hoover and look for it? I'll give you a £50 reward if you find it!'.
Cleaner came, friend gave her the hoover and (crucially) left the room. Oh yes, within a minute the ring was found! Cleaner was given the 'reward', left and obviously never returned.

(Yes, friend had obviously checked the hoover bag herself :-/ ) This was a while ago, but I wish she'd put a secret camera in the room when the ring was found...

It's really so sad that it happens but it's probably what others have said; she knows you can't accuse her/do anything... So never ever leave anything valuable out that's easy to take. Super annoying lesson to learn...

Deebee90 · 11/10/2024 15:56

I wouldn’t be paying her and I would tell her she knows why. She’s nothing but a dodgy thief and I guarantee after today she won’t come back anyway .

Lissyy · 11/10/2024 16:05

ruethewhirl · 11/10/2024 15:54

You're saying you think it'd be OK to accuse this cleaner of theft with no proof?

She knows it's her, but she doesn't have it on camera. So yes she could totally say there was £100 there before you arrived and now it's gone so I need to let you go as I can't trust the situation. Of course she can.

AW24 · 11/10/2024 16:05

@MamaD2207
Could any children have taken it?

Viviennemary · 11/10/2024 16:07

She might have thought it was her wages. How careless of you to do this

JadeSeahorse · 11/10/2024 16:15

Olduser1234 · 11/10/2024 15:23

I was once accused of stealing from an office petty cash box. Not to my face, just comments etc. all day. I was a temp so would have probably lost my job...but then the big boss strolled in at the end of the afternoon, to replace what he'd 'borrowed' earlier. Don't jump to conclusions.

OMG! This sort of happened to me many, many years ago when I was just19. (70's)
I worked for an insurance firm as a P.A. and the reps used to collect the cash payments from customers and pass to me which I kept in the petty cash box provided until I could bank it later in the day.

One day quite a large amount went missing - it was definitely there in the morning but much of it had gone by the time I went to the bank.

To cut an extremely long story short, I was accused by the M.D. of stealing it - I lived by myself and was on a pretty low wage so I was the obvious suspect.🤔
I was due to be paid for the month 2 days later but M.D. said he would deduct the missing money from my wages - left me with virtually nothing - and not involved police. With hindsight I should have insisted he did call the police but I was young and naive. I was also dismissed on the spot with no notice.

Thankfully, in those days I had a very good relationship with staff at Brook Street and Alfred Marks bureaux - they knew me really well - who found me bits of temp work, one of which led to another FT position.

3 months later I was in a city centre pub with friends and bumped into 2 of the reps from said insurance company. Turns out the exact same thing happened to the girl who took my place but she was older and wiser, set a trap and caught one of the newish reps helping himself to the cash when he thought no one was looking. Turned out he had been doing it for months and has at previous companies where he had worked. I believe he was eventually jailed.

I thankfully moved back to my home town and to much bigger and better things, but even almost 50 years later it still stings the way in which I was treated and, when they eventually found out who the real culprit was, the M.D. didn't have the guts/manners to apologise.😡

MoonPieHazySky · 11/10/2024 16:20

Tomatovine · 11/10/2024 14:16

years ago (I actually posted about it on MN) I had a cleaner and she told me a few times that ‘if you can’t find anything don’t worry I’ve been helping to out the washing away but may have put in the wrong drawers/room’ so when I couldn’t find stuff I thought that was why until I was really noticing not being able to find items.
I went out one day and bumped into her and said hi and she looked petrified and it was so weird I just kept chatting then I suddenly realised she was wearing a full outfit of my clothes ! I said bye then text immediately ‘nice cardigan where did you get it ? ‘ went home changed the locks that day and never heard from her again

omg!!!!!

Thursdaygirl · 11/10/2024 16:21

sweetpickle2 · 11/10/2024 13:08

Seems deeply weird that she would steal so obviously from you if she wants to continue working for you, which would presumably get her much more than £100 in the long run.

That's what I thought too

Nannyfannybanny · 11/10/2024 16:23

In 1991 single parent in emergency accommodation after being made homeless in divorce, I lost a £20 note all the money I had ,was convinced it was my oldest DD, luckily I didn't accuse her....it was in a walkin larder on the floor!

Nannyfannybanny · 11/10/2024 16:26

My DH was wearing my slippers today, they're too big on me. One has gone missing,we live in a tiny open plan bungalow. Can't find it anywhere!

ExhaustedHousewife · 11/10/2024 16:33

Attelina · 11/10/2024 14:37

Leaving cash out whilst you have a low paid worker in your home is stupid and your responsibility.

However I question that someone with a steady job would sacrifice it for only £100 and getting a bad reputation and possibly a police investigation.

You are a fool.

Low paid workers? Don't make me laugh! My cleaner charges £21 an hour and she's totally worth it.

Mookytoo · 11/10/2024 16:36

Pay her and then fire her “change of circumstance”

MoonPieHazySky · 11/10/2024 16:40

ExhaustedHousewife · 11/10/2024 16:33

Low paid workers? Don't make me laugh! My cleaner charges £21 an hour and she's totally worth it.

If she’s self-employed then yes, this is extremely low pay.

It does not equate to the same employed hourly rate – with guaranteed hours and employment benefits and protection. It will also cover many non-billable work hours which she will be paid nothing for.

Boomer55 · 11/10/2024 16:49

Unless you live alone, you don’t know who took it. Pay her and if you don’t want her back, then cancel her.

Schleep · 11/10/2024 16:49

If she did take it then she's INCREDIBLY stupid.
If you were £20 short of the £100, that would be more likely.
Everyone would notice a pile of money suddenly disappearing - and very few people are stupid enough to not know that.

This alone would make me think she didn't do it

leli · 11/10/2024 16:50

Sundaymondaytuesdayetc · 11/10/2024 12:57

I'm sorry but why leave £100 on your bedside table when you knew she was coming into clean? I know if she works for you you should be able to count on her honesty but that's just not fair to leave temptation in people's way. It may be loose change to you but it's a lot of money to some people.
You can't just not pay her. If you really think she took the money then pay her what she is due and finish her contract and find someone else.

Edited

I totally agree with this comment. Don't leave money lying around. Or jewellery. I've had jewellery stolen unfortunately. But I sucked it up and didn't blame the cleaner. Could have been anyone.

Schleep · 11/10/2024 16:52

MoonPieHazySky · 11/10/2024 16:40

If she’s self-employed then yes, this is extremely low pay.

It does not equate to the same employed hourly rate – with guaranteed hours and employment benefits and protection. It will also cover many non-billable work hours which she will be paid nothing for.

Genuine question - how is this "extremely" low pay?

SiobhanSharpe · 11/10/2024 16:54

I lost a much loved silver necklace last year. I've turned the house upside down looking for it.
No one else was in the house at the time, or even around that time.
I don't have a cleaner so it's down to me. (I suspect it got thrown out with the newspapers or some rubbish. 😥)

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