Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

At what age shouldn't your kids see you naked?!

58 replies

GabriellaFaith · 11/10/2024 02:41

I have 2 girls ages 6 and 7. They both have very long hair, and whilst getting better, they struggle to rinse the conditioner off properly. Due to a back injury / operation years ago I struggle bending or twisting, so sometimes, if we are in a rush, I get in the shower to rinse their hair out. They aren't uncomfortable or anything, they are far too busy singing along to barbie to even notice 😂 but I wondered at what age should they not see me, or each other, naked? And even me not see them?

They still love playing in the bath together, and we have a double shower (2 heads) in our bathroom which they like to use in the evenings. Part of me thinks it's good they see me with my saggy belly, stretch marked legs and several large scars, because so much of what they see these days seems airbrushed! But I don't want to do something if it's deemed weird or inappropriate!

So, AIBU to be naked around them at 6 and 7 years old?

If no, when do I stop?! End of primary school??? I don't know! 🙈

Thanks everyone x

OP posts:
AutumnLeaves24 · 11/10/2024 02:47

Don't worry about it, they'll let you know when they want you to stop being naked in front of them or when they want privacy from you or each other. They'll likely dip in & out of this too.

DoAWheelie · 11/10/2024 02:47

When they start showing signs of wanting privacy. Every kid is different, follow their cues.

SD1978 · 11/10/2024 02:58

When they choose to. I have no issue with nudity. And won't hide it, whilst also not parading around (if that makes sense) when my daughter is uncomfortable with it, I'll respect that and make more effort to cover up outside of my own room.

IamGrout · 11/10/2024 04:12

It's just bodies, everyone has them. It is good that your children see what a normal body looks like. As they get older they will let you know if they want privacy so Just take their lead and not worry about it.

I don't wander around nude but I've always been pretty relaxed about getting changed in front of my son. He is 13 now and still isn't phased about wandering into the bathroom to ask a question while I am in the shower or chatting with me while I get dressed. He has become a bit shyer about himself as his body changes, so I don't go in the bathroom or his room while he is dressing unless he calls me in.

WhatIsThisTomFoolery24 · 11/10/2024 04:28

Whenever you or they express embarrassment or discomfort.

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 11/10/2024 05:39

My 9yo wanted privacy about a year ago so I run her bath or shower and she does her own thing.

My 7yo still wants company when she's in the bath but I imagine that will stop soon as well.

As for seeing me naked, all my kids come into the bathroom when I'm in the bath, just for a chat or to answer a question, they range from 23 down to 7, so they aren't fussed about seeing me at all.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 11/10/2024 05:59

My DC are 20DS and 18Dd. Dd sees me completely naked as we frequently get ready for a night out/ family occasion together, same way I'd change in front of my DM or female friends. I did take my top off ( no bra) in front of DS and his GF in the summer as had to jump into the water (from a boat) at short notice.

RecycleMePlease · 11/10/2024 06:03

They'll let you know, don't worry!

It was not too long after that age that my youngest decided that even the lure of my bath wasn't enough for me to see him naked (previously he'd magically appear in it if I wasn't sneaky enough when running one)

But even now, a few years on, whilst he'd never be naked around me, he'll wander into my bathroom to brush his teeth while I'm in the bath, and whilst there's no wandering around showing everything off, we'll also all (including his older brother) get changed in a room together without any fuss - just normal, polite, keeping our eyes to ourselves and not dilly dallying.

I think that's a normal/healthy level of nudity acceptance TBH.

Crazyeight · 11/10/2024 06:07

As above. DC will see me naked if I get changed etc. I've tried not to make it a big deal and think it's quite important for them to see non-filtered and photoshopped bodies.

amyshep · 11/10/2024 06:09

Mine are 19, 10 and 8 (gbg) and none of them are bothered by nudity, in the appropriate setting ie shower or getting dressed.
Eldest not keen on siblings going in bathroom when she's there but not bothered if I do.
Youngest two still bath together occasionally but I guess that will stop soon.
Small one does parade about naked downstairs sometimes but I do encourage her to cover her privates 😬🙄

alpenglow1 · 11/10/2024 06:18

I'm in my early 30s and if I'm staying at my DM's house, I may still pop into the bathroom when she's showering if I need something. Same for her if I'm showering. It's never been an issue with us all my life, even during the teenage years.
I stopped seeing my DF naked or wanting him to see me maybe at around age 10 or 11 though. So it may depend on the relationship and the gender of the parent/children.

MinnieMountain · 11/10/2024 06:18

DS wasn’t comfortable seeing me naked at 9. He’s nearly 11 and still sometimes wants to chat when he’s in the shower.

Heavier · 11/10/2024 06:24

I think you follow their lead. My eldest is very private about their body and my youngest is starting to get that way but has a bath with the door open and asks for things so it’s a mid was ground. The change seems to happen around going to secondary school.
I don’t parade around naked but they walk in on me in the shower on a regular basis. That’s their choice and I don’t mind. We have other toilet options so it’s not that they have to come in for that. If they get to the point they want to wait to ask me the question till I’m out of the shower and dressed then that’s ok or if that never happens then that’s ok too.

TubeScreamer · 11/10/2024 06:40

They make it very clear, in my experience. I think mine were both about 9/10 years old.

Mairzydotes · 11/10/2024 06:42

If washing their hair is the only issue, you could wear a swimming costume if either of you felt uncomfortable.

SleepwalkingInTesco · 11/10/2024 06:45

If they or you have an issue with it. There's no age where you 'should' do this or that.

HoppingPavlova · 11/10/2024 06:49

Never. I have grown up kids who still come in if I’m in the shower or getting dressed or what not to ask if I’ve seen their footy shorts, or that we’re out of milk and am I going out to shops or will they etc. Many of them also do the nuddie walk back from their bathroom to bedrooms as it saves taking the wet towel back to bathroom🤣. No one gives a shit here.

BendingSpoons · 11/10/2024 07:08

My 8yo still chooses to shower with me or DH. We'll be in the shower and she just comes in so she can carry on talking to us! She has also had a bath with her younger brother and younger cousin. I assume she'll want more privacy in the future.

BigDahliaFan · 11/10/2024 07:22

Different families have differing habits. Friend at school whose parents and whole family had no issue with nudity. Dutch friends who just strip off... your girls will give you cues.

Sonolanona · 11/10/2024 07:24

As others have said, they will let you know. Some children make it clear they want privacy quite early... others not so much! My eldest son was quite private from about 7 years old, my eldest daughter had to be told to put some clothes on when visitors were around much later, and she still gets naked at the drop of a hat as an adult, and is very unselfconscious about her body (she's also a doctor so bodies are just her work!)

I would say my dh was more covered up as they grew than me, as like you I'd pop in the shower etc , and even as adults they only see me as mum, and DS2 will wander in if I'm in the bath for a chat..it just hasn't ever occurred to him that I might want privacy!

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 11/10/2024 07:32

Up to the kids really.

Same as others, I have a 19 DS that still walks in when I get dressed and is not phased in the slightest. I also think it's good that they see normal bodies instead of the ones in the media.

Tisfortired · 11/10/2024 07:35

Agree they’ll let you know. My eldest just turned 11
and he was around 9 when he started being careful wrapping himself up after a shower and going back to his room and wanting to do it by himself.

SallyWD · 11/10/2024 07:50

It varies so much. My friend and her mum used to share a bath when she was 16! I would have been horrified by this.
I remember I used to be naked around my kids until they were maybe 6 and 8 then suddenly I just no longer felt comfortable! I have no idea if they were uncomfortable. They didn't say anything. But I just felt like I should cover up. It was an almost overnight change.

Pottedpalm · 11/10/2024 07:56

Fazed. The word is fazed in the contexts above. Not ‘phased’.

rzb · 11/10/2024 08:09

Do whatever's right for the people in your family. I think it's very healthy for your girls to see your body and to see that you're comfortable with it, if you are all happy with that.

My family is relaxed about nudity within the home / family setting; my older child is a young adolescent who remains relaxed about nudity at home, and is confident in their body. If they, or my younger child, stop being relaxed about nudity at home, we will respect that (although I would somewhat resent the palaver of having to put on clothing in order to leave the bedroom or bathroom).

Swipe left for the next trending thread