At what age shouldn't your kids see you naked?!

[GabriellaFaith]

I have 2 girls ages 6 and 7. They both have very long hair, and whilst getting better, they struggle to rinse the conditioner off properly. Due to a back injury / operation years ago I struggle bending or twisting, so sometimes, if we are in a rush, I get in the shower to rinse their hair out. They aren't uncomfortable or anything, they are far too busy singing along to barbie to even notice 😂 but I wondered at what age should they not see me, or each other, naked? And even me not see them?

They still love playing in the bath together, and we have a double shower (2 heads) in our bathroom which they like to use in the evenings. Part of me thinks it's good they see me with my saggy belly, stretch marked legs and several large scars, because so much of what they see these days seems airbrushed! But I don't want to do something if it's deemed weird or inappropriate!

So, AIBU to be naked around them at 6 and 7 years old?

If no, when do I stop?! End of primary school??? I don't know! 🙈

Thanks everyone x

We've got 4 girls (age 10 to late 20s) and we (me and them) all march about naked upstairs sometimes and see each other.

Other times we creep about in a towel. Depends on the mood. Depends on periods ect. Youngest included - sometimes she covers up sometimes she doesn't care.

If DH is around DDs all cover up. Including youngest.

I feel sorry for DH to be honest. He doesn't ever get to march about naked 'cos there's always one of the DDs knocking around somewhere in the house and he wont risk it.

I'm the only one in the house who can, in theory, wander around starkers anytime if i want to. Don't care if DH or DDs see me.

I'm just intrigued from this thread how many families appear to have someone running a bath, undressing, getting into it, and then promptly shouting out and asking for things to be brought to them!

This is the most important point to dwell on in this thread.

Yep, this.

My DS is 10 (although has asd so is young for his age)- he has no issues with seeing me naked, waltzing in when I’m in the shower or whatever.

He is starting to want privacy for himself- won’t change in front of his cousins at swimming/shuts the bathroom door if he is in there etc… but still sometimes changes in front of me.

I just alter how I behave based on how he is behaving- I knock on his bedroom door now, I don’t take all the kids in the big family change at swimming etc.

Oh yes- wine and chocolate in my case 😀

One day they will just stop, or you will want to. There’s nothing wrong with nakedness in your situation unless someone is uncomfortable. More complicated with teenagers and opposite sex parents though.

Good idea. Or even teach them to wash each others hair.

For those who wander around naked, do you not get chilly?

I'm 53. I think that's an age that my (grown up) kids shouldn't see me naked.

I think nakedness is a very British thing, on the continent people are not as embarrassed about being naked. In Scandinavia swimming pool changing rooms insist on naked showers! I really wouldn’t worry at all!!

I've been wondering about this but more specifically in the context of opposite sex siblings, and particularly bathing together. Mine are 6 and 3 and opposite sex and still bath together. They're both totally happy to and there are no issues, but part of me wonders if the eldest is getting a bit 'big' for that? Then the other part of me says they are siblings and if eldest starts feeling uncomfortable or doesn't want to anymore (or youngest tbf!) they will surely tell me and we can stop then? I have no idea what the 'norm' is?? My closest friends with kids all have 2 children of the same sex.

Yeah they'll just say they want the bath to themselves. but it might not be for a while yet.

My friends two (GB) carried on sharing a bath until they could no longer fit. They must have been about 11/13 which I get sounds a bit 'off' but as young adults they're still physically comfortable with each other. Will sprawl out on the sofa together. It's not weird, it's sweet, they're like puppies 😂😂

I have 2 girls too, the eldest is 13 and she doesn't walk around naked! She doesn't mind me seeing her in underwear but not naked. The youngest is 9 and doesn't care at all!
They stopped bathing together when the eldest was about 10 and wanted privacy.
I'm not really bothered about them seeing me naked, although I don't parade around naked or anything, would just get changed quickly if they were in the room.
If I had boys I would probably not be letting them see me naked at that sort of age though, it's a bit different with girls & mums. My mum always got changed if I was in the same room right up to when I left home!

This is something that varies greatly by culture. Danes, Germans, Czechs, Austrians, Scandinavians all think nothing of heading to the spa and getting naked with family and friends. Generally, anyone attempting to wear clothing in a spa-type place will be frowned on mightily. I'm sure they're no more shy about nudity at home - it would be weird if they were, frankly.

On that basis I'd say there's no built-in upper age limit. Just stop when/if your children don't feel comfortable any more. Be aware of any developing desire for privacy on their part, and respect their boundaries.

DD6 loves getting in the shower with me 🤣. I did broach it with her that maybe as she's getting older she should stop but she was very upset and said she loves showering with mummy! I take my cues from her.

Thanks everyone so much! I'm a little overwhelmed so many people took time out of their day to answer my questions! Really appreciated. I feel so much better! Just suddenly wondered last night if I was being a bad mum so appreciate the reassurance that it's okay 🥰

DD is 11. From time to time we share a bath at her insistence as a bit of girly bonding time and so I can find out all the school gossip

It's not an issue until they express discomfort about it. A body is just a body – it isn't inappropriate.

I have a DD4 and we used to shower together when I had to wash my hair and DH was working late and needed to keep an eye on her. We organically stopped but if I had to, I don't think it would make me think twice still when they're so young. DH used to take her in the shower in the mornings if she was too tired to bathe the night before and we were going somewhere nice but stopped that just before she went to reception - not because we're uncomfortable but more if she was to say something in school and they misinterpreted it.

I wonder about this too! Eldest son is 12 and has been v.private about his own body for a few years now but will still happily come in the bathroom and chat to me when I'm in the bath. I'm not bothered about him seeing me naked, but I do sometimes wonder whether I should be more private now he is almost a teen.

Mine do. And when I point this out, they usually wrap a blanket around themselves like a cape.

Naked bodies are normal. It will be good for them to see what normal naked people look like unless of course they don't like it in which case tone it down a bit. I suspect around puberty they may get a bit squeamish about it all but that's up to them.

Teen DS still doesn't bat an eyelid coming to chat to me when I'm on the loo or in the shower.

Teen DS is a bit more funny about seeing me naked.

DH thinks it's weird but then he's always been funny about being naked or using the loo on front of the kids, even when they were really small. I never had that choice when they were little and I was regularly out alone with them. They used to bend down to get a better look! And ask lots of questions! And then comment about my.toileting habits in the public toilets...

The kids aren't too bothered about being naked in front of me. They don't like being naked in front of anyone else though.

I remember walking into the bathroom to chat to my mum when I was about 13, she was in the bath. I remember chatting away and suddenly thinking I shouldn’t be in there. I gave her more privacy after that.

So I’d say secondary school age (ish) is when you might find things start to shift.

As long as both you and your dds are comfortable, it's fine. My adult dd and I are both fine getting changed in front of each other, it isn't a big deal. She doesn't change in front of her dad, though, and he doesn't change in front of her - I think this is something that they both just took on automatically as she got older.